The voice of the "Witch Doctor" was in fact Bagdasarian's own voice sped-up to double speed, a technique later exploited by Bagdasarian to create the characters Alvin and the Chipmunks (and which he had also used on at least one other pre-Chipmunk song, "The Bird on My Head").
It looks like no one else is going to vote, so I'll pick 3. I wish I could declare it the winner, but I can't, since 1 had the most votes. I can say it was in 2nd place (along with 3 others)
Here are the results:
1 There once was a fellow of Fife Who took a baboon as his wife. Said he, "It's a pity That she's not very pretty But I'm certain we'll have a wild life."
Two votes This one written by Bob Hale got 2 votes, from Geoff and B3, which makes it the winner. Congratulations, Bob!
2 There was a Wee Cooper o' Fife Who had gotten a gentle wife Then a song by Burl Ives Did change both of their lives (Though he used a sheep's skin, not a knife)
No votes. Hab wrote this one and asked me to include a link to it, which I did. Here’s a video of the song, as sung by Burl Ives.
3 Miss Elanor Rigby of Fife Had wanted a man in her life Until Emmy Lou Glick Donned a silicone dick Now Elanor's Emmy Lou's wife
One vote. Geoff wrote this one. It has a nice meter, there’s a turnaround from the first line to the last, and finishes with a nice alliteration of Elanor and Emmy Lou. If he’d pick Sally Mae it wouldn’t have worked. For these reasons I thought it was the best of the lot. No one else agreed with me. Sorry, Geoff. I liked it.
4 A young man who once lived in Fife Decided to find him a wife She had to be healthy And, of course, wealthy To sustain his extravagant life.
No votes. I wrote this one. I once went to a talk by a school psychologist and she said her brother had decided to date only girls from rich families. He’d eventually fall in love with one, get married, and live happily ever after. I don’t know how that turned out.
5 The premise, says my girl from Fife, For one day becoming my wife: “I sleep-- though you’re dear-- “With my button-in-ear “Brown Paddington teddy from Steiff.”
No votes. This is B3’s. I had no idea what the “button-in-ear” or Steiff meant, so I looked it up. Margarete Steiff was born in 1847 and contracted polio when she was 18 months old, though it wasn’t diagnosed until she was 3 years old. She became a seamstress and eventually began making high-quality stuffed animals for kids. Her motto was “Only the best is good enough for children." The button-in-ear was her nephew’s idea to differentiate authentic Steiff toys from counterfeits. 6 In the game that they call Second Life I've a house and three kids and a wife But the best bit, I'd claim I can turn off the game Which I can't in my real life in Fife.
No votes. Another by Bob. This and 13 (also by Bob) are a toss-up for my 2nd pick.
7 Back in the '60s in Fife When sex and drugs were both rife I'd toke every day And roll in the hay I had the time of my life
No votes. I wrote this one. I thought of CJ.
8 There once was a laddie of Fife Who loved playing drums all his life But Major McDougal Said, "Laddie, play bugle" Which led to cacophonous strife
No votes. Another of Geoff’s
9 There’s report of a shark near Fife: Some old killer come back to life With teeth pearly-white And a blade out of sight-- Could that someone be Mac the Knife?
No votes. B3 meets Mac the Knife
10 Near Tacoma's a suburb called Fife, Where I met my cacophonous wife. We wed in Seattle, Though since: it's just prattle And gossip and whine - oh what strife!
No votes. Kalleh submitted this self-portrait
11 Worms have a wonderful life I happened to see some in Fife They mate willy-nilly Until they are silly And both are both husband and wife
One vote. I wrote this. Bob liked it. The last line points out that worms are hermaphroditic and can impregnate each other. And, for Geoff's edification, worms also have a clit (clitellum, not clitoris).
12 Brought my girl friend to Paris from Fife To climb up the Tower of Eif- Fel right up to the top And there I did pop The big question: "Would you be my wife?
One vote. Another of Hab's. Kalleh chose it.
13 An old man whose home was in Fife When he found the elixir of life Said, "I'd give it a try But I'm worried that I Might have to share with my wife."
One vote. Another of Bob's. Picked by Haberdasher
14 A Puyallup fellow of Fife Took a widow Chinook as his wife She kept as a totem Her late husband's scrotum Ensuring no domestic strife
No votes. This was Geoff's. I liked the first four lines.
15 There once was a man from Fife Whose girl would spice up his life They would just screw For an hour or two Then he'd go home to his wife
No votes. Another of mine
16 Miss Elanor Rigby of Fife Had longed for a man in her life 'Til a lady named Nell Cast a magical spell Now she's another dame's wife
No votes. This is Geoff's, an alternative to 3 but not as good.
So that's it. Thanks to the six people who submitted entries and who voted. Boo to the rest of you! I had fun with this. When I first chose "Fife," I figured it would be easy to rhyme. But then I saw how few rhymes there were and I became concerned. But then I started writing and they just rolled out. Most of mine were not very good, but some were. The one rhyme I didn't think of was "Steiff." I guess I would call B3's the most creative. And I learned something. Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?
But now it's Bob's turn. Let's hope he has a better turnout. Take it away, Bob!This message has been edited. Last edited by: tinman,
August 18, 2021, 03:11
OMG Geoff, I's missed your comment "We had Pinky Lee." There's something eerie about how antique memories become sharper as you get older. Don't think I've thought of that show in 60+ yrs, but the theme song jumped right into my head. I remember it came on at 5pm, and I would bawl if Mom came to pick me up at the babysitter's before it was over
August 18, 2021, 03:20
Thanks for the round-up, tinman. I must have read these carelessly, or I would have included Bob's #13 in my stack-ranking. That last line completely cracks me up.
August 18, 2021, 13:42
Robert Heinlein handled that theme too, in Job. Saint Alexander thinks his (self-)righteous and most unpleasant wife has died, and then he remarries for love, and then they both die and go to heaven, and he searches frantically for his wife...and whom he finds is...the first one. Still self-righteous and still unpleasant. Ouch.
August 18, 2021, 15:23
You sure it was heaven, Hab?
I must admit that your limerick went over my head. Waaay too sophisticated for me, alas. My late father would have understood it; he loved Burl Ives.
August 19, 2021, 13:35
That was the reason I included a link to the lyrics. As sung by Burl Ives,
... She wouldna card, nor she wouldna spin Knickety, knackety, no no no For the shamin' o' her gentle kin Hey willy-wallacky, how John Dougal, a lane quo rooshety roo roo roo
So the wee cooper went to his woodpack Knickety, knackety, no no no And laid a sheepskin on his wife's back Hey willy-wallacky, how John Dougal, a lane quo rooshety roo roo roo
'Now, I wouldna thrash ye for your gentle kin Knickety, knackety, no no no But I would thrash me ain sheepskin' Hey willy-wallacky, how John Dougal, a lane quo rooshety roo roo roo ...
They tell a story of a "gentle" wife, too refined to do any housework until the cooper took her behind a shack and beat her, after which she behaved herself. (Remind anyone of Kate in The Taming of the Shrew?) It'd never pass PC muster today.but back then it was S.O.P.
August 21, 2021, 19:51
Congrats, Bob! Now that I read it, Tinman, I like #3, too. Nice one Geoff.