Most people know about the limericks of Edward Lear. Although he didn't invent the verse-form, he did much to popularise it. The only trouble is, he tended to run out of inspiration for line 5, and would usually repeat the first line with only minor changes. A recent episode of QI mentioned this and the panel provided some much better last lines.

For example, one limerick went:
There was an Old Person of Chile;
Whose conduct was painful and silly;
He sat on the stairs;
Eating apples and pears;
That imprudent Old Person of Chile.

Alan Davies provided Firing pips out of his willy, which everyone agreed was far superior.

Another Lear limerick mentioned on the show was:
There was a Young Lady of Poole;
Whose soup was excessively cool;
So she put it to boil;
By the aid of some oil;
That ingenious Young Lady of Poole.

My suggestion: while we wait for the result of the current limerick competition, can you suggest a better last line? No need for PMs; just post your suggestions in this thread.

Which overly loosened her stool.

And burnt it - the silly old fool.

Although we'd have to make her "an old Lady of Poole"

My entry:

Then dropped it on the floor, the fool.

But to use fuel, who'll school the fool?

quote:

Firing pips out of his willy

Anyone who's had a kidney stone might say, "Squeezing stones out of his willy." It goes well with the "painful" in L2

I think I prefer 'pips'. It goes with the apples and pears. I should imagine it's likely to be almost as painful, as well.

quote:

There was a Young Lady of Poole; Whose soup was excessively cool; So she put it to boil; By the aid of some oil;
.

And the heat from her husband's huge tool.

quote:

There was a Young Lady of Poole;
Whose soup was excessively cool;
So she put it to boil;
By the aid of some oil...

Now the epicure calls it a jewel.
- or -
But the physicist needed a joule.

(Schroedinger says, Pick one...)

PS We need votes in Valentine...