I response to Kalleh's posting, I will start the next game with the name I suggested a while ago, the little Sussex hamlet of Fulking. It is pronounced as if it were satiated monarch - a "full king" - and stressed on the first syllable.

If she says she's a virgin, you'll try, men,
To intrude on that young virgin's hymen.
But although she may cry
As you kiss her good-by
There's a new barricade she can buy, men.

Check it out

Amazing. Now even America's virginity is made in China!

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Add in a few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable.

Do they mean undetected, perhaps?

Actually, Richard, they say it's made in Japan, and shipped from China. Odd.

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Actually, Richard, they say it's made in Japan, and shipped from China. Odd.

I did see that and didn't believe it. I suspect it is maybe Japanese designed and Chinese made.

I've heard of Japanese cherry festivals.

Oh, thanks, Richard. I will send you a Fulking limerick, though I do wish it rhymed with sulking.

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Originally posted by Kalleh:
Oh, thanks, Richard. I will send you a Fulking limerick, though I do wish it rhymed with sulking.

I will tell the Fulking Parish Council that you are sulking about the way we pronounce Fulking

Is there a fulqueen to go with the Fulking?

Do you have any responses besides my feeble attempt?

He has my feeble attempt.

Only two submissions so far. Come on folks, get yourselves Fulking writing!

This is quite hard. I might have to cheat.

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This is quite hard. I might have to cheat.

No harder than Dublin

Still only two Get your fulking fingers working, folks.

Sorry, RE, I've moved to the Fulklands and can't play this time.

Three now - all good. Come on Asa - they must have email in the Fulklands...

How close do you want the rhymes? There are very few actual proper rhymes for "full" because of the vowel sound. Lot's of things that look as if they ought to rhyme actually don't.

Obviously one has to make allowances for the difficulty in rhyming.

One on the way.

Oh, I am glad to see a little more interest here. I thought maybe I had scared everyone away comments.

There aren't perfect rhymes, that's for sure.

How do the people in that town Fulking live with themselves?

I suppose it's named for some famous patriarch or founder. Must go Google...

Wordmatic

What shall we name the town?
How about that Fulking guy over there?

Well - that's three entries now - come on everyone; you're not going to let a simple little word like Fulking defeat you, are you?

I'll have to pull king rank on Fulking. Judging this weekend.

Well, only the three, which I'll now judge. But first, here's one I prepared earlier - just to prove to myself that it could be done:

A matador living in Fulking
Had aims to be Sussex's bull king.
But the shepherds there keep
No bulls, only sheep
So he ended up being a wool king.

And in order of receipt, here are the others.

From Kalleh, who also used the "wool king" rhyme:

In West Sussex a village called Fulking
Has sheep, though it's hardly the "wool king."
While never a hog,
There's the "Shepherd and Dog!"
Though be careful in pastures of bull ding!

Then Stella who took us back to medieval times:

When jousting and rousting in Fulking
The knights all tell Arthur, “You rule, King!”
But when round the table
He brags, as he’s able,
They say, “What a great load of bull, King!”

And finally Proofreader, who submitted a worthy brace:

Said Bernard to his sister in Fulking
“I don’t know why you’re sitting there sulking.
I know that you long
To yank on my dong
But it’s just not your personal pullthing."

Said Bernard to his sister in Fulking,
“I don’t know why you’re sitting there sulking.
I know it's your favorite
And that you do savor it
But my peter's not your private pullthing.

The admitted difficulty of the word meant that I had to accept near rhymes - or else nobody would have won!

Kalleh's is a grand effort, marred by a slightly dodgy L5 rhyme and a bit of scansion strain in L1 and L5. I read it several times to try to see whether there was some clever hidden meaning (which Kalleh's efforts often include) but didn't spot one. Apologies if there is and the hog reference is more than simply a convenient rhyme.

Stella's effort was another of high quality, technically excellent and only the "Fulking/rule king" rhyme, being less than perfect, marring an otherwise faultless example of the limerick form. My doubt the Knights of the Round Table ever got as far east as Sussex is a mean carp!

Proofreader's submission is in fine limerick tradition - not only obscene but incestuously so! I was tempted to immediately award him the prize on the ground of fine vulgarity - but I felt it only fair to look at the technical aspects of his submission as well. Proofreader used near rhymes as didi all - but he used two in each submission and I do have to take that into account. Plus his choice of a bi-syllabic name for the brother spoils the scansion in L1. So although his submission is properly vulgar and probably the most factually accurate of all (incest, I suspect, being as popular in Sussex as it is in other parts of the world!) with regret I can't award it first prize.

After properly evaluating all the submissions I have decided that, by the merest sliver, Stella's is this week's winner. So well done everyone for a splendid, if select, number of submissions - now it's up to Stella to challenge us with her placename suggestion.

Remember that Bernard is often pronounced buh-NARD across the pond.

Actully, that was only one limerick. I sent the first, then decided the second was better and should have notified Richard to toss the first.

While I understand that having a difficult rhyming name makes for a more interesting contest, having one which has severely limited rhymes also severely limits the subject matter, IMO, and seems also to decrease participation.

Any particular reason why you excluded mine? Sent via PM on 4 October:

A nearly blind milkmaid in Fulking
Thought she'd gotten her pail 'neath the pull-thing.
She pulled and it squirted,
But it's not milk it spurted,
Seems she'd gotten hold of a bull thing.

Similar rhyming words to the others.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Asa Lovejoy>,

Bob's right about the PG of Bernard. Here it's BerNARD, although I see that UK is BERnid.

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Any particular reason why you excluded mine? Sent via PM on 4 October:

Only my own incompetence! Apologies. I had it in mind that I had received only three entries and so I simply counted only to three.

Yours is a fine effort, suitably vulgar, and is surely in contention for first place. However, although "bull-thing" and "pull-thing" rhyme well with each other they don't rhyme all that well with "Fulking". Since the rhyme is not significantly better than the other near-rhymes I have to take into consideration the other aspects of the work.

The decider that makes me stick with Stella is the slight hiccough in L5, where a double-take is needed to get the stress right - which needs to fall on "she'd". Since L2 needs the stress on "gotten" and not "she'd" this produces the hiccough for me.

So, again apologising for not including your admirable work, I will still stick with my original decision.

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Originally posted by Proofreader:
Actully, that was only one limerick. I sent the first, then decided the second was better and should have notified Richard to toss the first.

I thought that both were good and submitting more than one does not disadvantage competitors in this game. So why not let everyone enjoy both works?

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While I understand that having a difficult rhyming name makes for a more interesting contest, having one which has severely limited rhymes also severely limits the subject matter, IMO, and seems also to decrease participation.

You surely have a point. Of course, if you look at the history you'll see that I only proposed Fulking as a bit of a joke. It carried on and became an entry simply because there were no other candidates. Next time I'll choose an easier place.

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Bob's right about the PG of Bernard. Here it's BerNARD, although I see that UK is BERnid.

Even with the US pronunciation I reckon you'd have been better with a single-syllable name. "Sam" would have fitted well and have the benefit of giving L1 some nice alliteration.

Hey, the kid said his name was Bernard. What can I do?

Oh me, oh my! Thanks, Richard!

I'll repost what arnie and WM said in the other thread.

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Originally posted by arnie:
I like WM's suggestion that someone should post a place name when they think of a good one, rather than immediately after the last game.

Perhaps the person "hosting" the game could post a new forum poll with the collected limericks (possibly anonymous) so that the company could vote on the one they like best. Obviously you'd have to be honour-bound not to vote for your own entry. If the limericks were posted anonymously, perhaps after a certain period the "host" could reveal who it was got the most votes.

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Kalleh's is a grand effort, marred by a slightly dodgy L5 rhyme and a bit of scansion strain in L1 and L5. I read it several times to try to see whether there was some clever hidden meaning (which Kalleh's efforts often include) but didn't spot one. Apologies if there is and the hog reference is more than simply a convenient rhyme.

Ah, nicely done, Stella!

Please don't take this as a complaint because it's not, but I thought I might explain. First, if indeed Fulking is pronounced how you told us, Richard, then I don't see how there is any scansion problem in line 1. While I agree with the pushing the rhyming envelope in line 5, it scans correctly for me.

Now about the hog...the Shepherd and Dog is a pub in Fulking (apparently quite famous); when taken separately, one could say that you can find a shepherd and dog in Fulking, though no hogs. Though...perhaps you have to be in my frame of mind to get that.

At any rate, everyone did a great job, given the rhyming situation, and I especially liked proof's "pullthing!"

I admit that my face bore a frown
When I saw Richard's choice come aroun'.
But I puffed out my chest,
And resolved, do my best
To lim'rickify that Fulking town.

Kalleh, the scansion problem for me in L1 was simply that you had an extra syllable. As written there are two unstressed syllables starting L1: "In West SUSSex a VILLage called FULKing" and only one starting L2, "Has SHEEP, though it's HARDly the "WOOL king".

Has you omitted "West" then the scansion would have been perfect to my ear: "In SUSSex a VILLage called FULking". In fact, although you might not be aware of the fact, Sussex is just one country, although administratively it is divided into West and East. Simply writing "Sussex" would have been perfectly in order.

But it was still a very good effort - as indeed were all, given the challenge of the rhyme.

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I'll repost what arnie and WM said in the other thread.

Oh, we did put ourselves right back where we were, didn't we? I am sorry that more didn't play this game, and I hope it wasn't what proof referred to as my "kvetching." Should we just have the person starting the game designate in his/her opinion who the winner is (as we've been doing) and then let someone who has a good venue start the new game? That's how the bluffing game works, and while it gets hot and cold now and then, it has kept going for years now. It's just a thought.

Richard, here is how I was saying line 1:
"In West SUSSex a VILLage called FULKing" I don't live in West Sussex, so maybe the "West" is stronger than the "SUSS" when you say it, but it clearly issn't when I say it. To me, SUSS is quite dominant.

The first syllable of Sussex takes the stress - and quite strongly. The problem isn't with Sussex, it's with West. By including that word you have two unstressed syllables before the first stressed syllable in L1, and only one unstressed syllable before the first stressed syllable in L2.

This isn't a major fault in a limerick - although it's better avoided. But, with such a high standard, I needed to be fairly picky to identify the winner.

Insofar as choosing a place-name is concerned, could I suggest that the problem isn't with the choosing; it's with the judging. It's easy to choose, not too difficult to write, but judging needs a degree of effort and an ability to analyse dispassionately. Most people do not find it easy to judge others' efforts, the more so when they realise that their judgements will be subject to the scrutiny of their peers. But to my mind, the fact that it is difficult should be a challenge worth meeting, not one to avoid.

"...We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not only because they are easy, but because they are hard..." Houston, Texas, September 12, 1962.

I wish I'd said that.

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I hope it wasn't what proof referred to as my "kvetching."

That was not meant to be taken seriously. And my apologies if it was.

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By including that word you have two unstressed syllables before the first stressed syllable in L1, and only one unstressed syllable before the first stressed syllable in L2.

Really? Some of my favorites aren't that prescriptive, including many on OEDILF.

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Insofar as choosing a place-name is concerned, could I suggest that the problem isn't with the choosing; it's with the judging. It's easy to choose, not too difficult to write, but judging needs a degree of effort and an ability to analyse dispassionately.

From my understanding from reading the previous thread, people would like to see the selections spread around more. The judging is fine, if you aren't doing it every other time. I don't care how we do it, though, including having the winner do the next game.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Kalleh,

It was Stella who wrote:

"1. I love writing limericks
2. I hate judging limericks
3. I’m not much good at choosing funny, rhymable destinations"

I thought that others maybe agreed and shared Stella's hatred of judging.

But whatever is the reality, it would be a shame to lose this original and enjoyable game for want of the selection of a rhymeable location. If nobody else wants to do the job I'm happy to select another - this time rather easier than Fulking. And I am happy to judge the results as well.

I don't think Stella is alone in not liking the judging part. Certainly I wouldn't want to do it, and I know Asa has said the same.

That's why I suggested that the limericks be listed anonymously, then we take a poll on which one is felt to be best. After a week or so the person 'running' that particular game could disclose whose limerick got the most votes. Perhaps that would cause the competition to drag on rather too long, though ...

As I recall we did try this once and it didn't work all that well. One reason for this is the relatively small number of limericks and the consequential small number of judges (since generally it is only those who have written who will judge).

This makes for slow judging process and high probability of a hung decision.

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Really? Some of my favorites aren't that prescriptive, including many on OEDILF.

As I wrote, it's a small enough beef, but stressing and syllable count must be considered when judging a close contest.

Your first line had 10 syllables; your second only 9. The avoidable presence of an extra unstressed syllable in L1 was the lexical iota that meant I chose a different limerick as the winner.

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I don't think Stella is alone in not liking the judging part. Certainly I wouldn't want to do it, and I know Asa has said the same.

I really hate to speak for Stella, so Stella...thoughts?

However, I thought she and others here wouldn't mind judging every so often. It's that when you're on (as she has been lately!), you end up having to do it every time. If we just waited for someone to step up to the plate, it wouldn't be as frequent, and therefore as difficult.

I am perfectly willing to do it arnie's way, though. When you say, "take a poll," how would that be run, arnie? Would the winner of the last limerick put forth a venue and then have people email him with votes?

The way I see it operating is this:

• Someone (let's say X) thinks of a place name and starts a new game thread
• Members PM their limericks to X
• After a while X posts the limericks to the thread (identifying them as, say, "Limerick A", "Limerick B", and so on.
• X starts a forum poll asking members which one they prefer. Note that it would have to be a new thread; polls can't be included in ordinary threads.
• After a number of votes have been cast or a certain amount of time has passed, X reveals who wrote the limericks. Or perhaps just the author of the winning limerick; that might save embarrassment if some people get no votes at all.

I don't see the possibility of ties being much of a stumbling block; after all, we are only playing for fun.

As I wrote, we did try something like this a while ago and it didn't seem to work very well.

I have a suggestion that might help to avoid the situation whereby the same people too often get the job of choosing and judging. Let's take a leaf from the Laws of Cricket.

When the coin is tossed at the beginning of the game, the winning captain decides whether to bat or to field. If we were to adopt that system, the winner of a round could decide whether to bat - that is, to choose a town and judge the limericks, or to field and put in the other side - in the case of this game, to select another player to choose and judge.

I can see otherwise that the writers that often win will get fed up with having to judge and not being able to write.

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we did try something like this a while ago and it didn't seem to work very well.

I don't remember that. Anyway, let's try again. I've started a new thread for Limerick game: Dún Laoghaire

Nice one, Arnie. And as I suspect that few readers, even in the UK, will know how to pronounce the name (it's Irish) it's pronounced Dun LEAR-ry - the stressed "lear" rhymes with "queer".

Edit. I see Arnie has beaten me to it and gives a pronunciation guide in the thread itself.