1. Big Bad Wolf resided in Leicester Red Riding Hood came to pester Our wolf with bad puns 'bout her luscious buns "I'll show her," Wolf thought, "I'll in jest 'er! -- Geoff
2. A horny young lady from Leicester Gets screwed many times a semester. It'll just be my luck She'll be too worn to fuck From the dicks that are drawn to molester. -- Proofreader
3. A Bostonian, hailing from Liecesta Announced he would host a fiesta But his mistress, no snob, Brought an unruly mob And his wife called the cops to arresta. -- Haberdasher 4. When dating a guy up in Leicester, Though his monster dong quite distressed 'er, Twas a far bigger shock Than the size of his cock, That he was a Double-D Chester. -- Greg
5. A pretty young hooker in Leicester Was raided by cops to arrest 'er But she offered to do'em - To suck 'em and screw 'em Now coppers no longer molest 'er -- Geoff again Caught Tom’s eye
6. My friend Hester who lives down in Leicester Is quite a good looker - big breaster! No bra holds her in (Her men live in sin); I'm letting my jealousy fester! -- Kalleh
7. I've been told of a maiden from Leicester Who had sworn that no fella could beicester, But a gentleman charming, Genteel and disarming Impreicester, undreicest and posseicester. -- Shufitz PREFERRED by Arnie, beethree, Geoff, Hab, Kalleh, Proof
8. During travels on business to Leicester Many salesmen dropped in on Ms Hester With black hair, eyes of blue, And a red “A” tattoo-- Grateful gents up in Leicester all bless’d ‘er -- bethreee5
9. There once was a couple in Leicester Whose names were Chester and Esther Although brother and sis, They saw nothing amiss Being incestee and incestor -- Geoff Attracted Greg; First Runner-up by Hab
10. My chancre is starting to fester; My doctor does nothing but pester: "You've syphilis, Hon - Your love life is done!" I'm sure it's that jerk down in Leicester! -- Kalleh again
Ten limericks, by six Crafters: Bethree5, Geoff (3), Greg, Haberdasher, Kalleh (2), Proofreader, Shufitz
Eight votes: six for Shu, two for Geoff, for (5) and for (9). Good work, gang.
Recurring themes: – six of the ten verses used ‘er to make a workable variant of the target phoneme – accurate meter adds crowd appeal (a.k.a. sloppy rhythm gets downgraded) – internal rhymes, within the same line, appeal to the writer too (7, 8, 9) – novelty sells (3,7,9)
the Bigger Picture: hard-to-rhyme names evoke much cleverness, but I think we have more conversation with simpler targets. Compare Tooleybuc vs. Leicester. The Poll doesn’t prevent the interchange, but somehow we abdicate, having fulfilled our task by checking off the circle. And that’s the end of it.
One final thought: I was reminded this afternoon that all the British-originating names with –caster and -chester and –cester aren’t really British after all, but rather evolved as leftovers of the Roman occupation. See here.
Shu? Tag, you’re "It." Unless you can appoint a Lord High Substitute.
Edit: Forgot to tally my own vote for Shu! Shame on me! This message has been edited. Last edited by: haberdasher,
February 12, 2015, 20:34
Kalleh
I'll jiggle my husband's elbow to get him to post a new venue. Congrats, Shu! Well done.
February 13, 2015, 03:57
bethree5
What a great write-up, Hab! I feel like I just came from a limerick class.
February 13, 2015, 04:52
Geoff
I second that, Bethree5! Very well done!
Haberdasher's been hiding his talent for waaaay too long!
And Shu, you've been dormant too long. This was one heck of a re-emergence! Keep it up!This message has been edited. Last edited by: Geoff,
February 13, 2015, 10:33
haberdasher
[tee-hee] And did you catch the rhyme-scheme acrostic? and the terminal acrostic? Another side-effect of the Boston accent; an autological limerick, describing itself. "Form Follows Function."[/tee-hee]This message has been edited. Last edited by: haberdasher,
February 13, 2015, 14:49
Greg S
quote:
And did you catch the rhyme-scheme acrostic? and the terminal acrostic?
I didn't at the time, but I see them both now. So clever! If I had my time again I would vote for No. 3.
I didn't get any votes for mine either, but was happy that it made a few people smile, which is always my primary aim in this game.
Regards Greg
February 13, 2015, 15:31
haberdasher
I do thank you for that, but I have to stick by what I said: #7 was better!