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All the World is a Pun

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February 18, 2003, 10:51
C J Strolin
All the World is a Pun
In another thread, Asa posed the question "Why did the gambler go to Lhasa?" and then provided the entirely sensible answer "Because he liked Tibet."

Unfortunately, the thread had to do with phobias. Rather than commandeer that thread, what do you say we start a new one to follow Asa's lead. Geographical punning, anyone??


Asa, after we finish our sweet and sour pork, what do you say we go out and Taiwan on?

As the Parisian visiting Africa said while observing the locals at work, "Zaire but for ze grace of God, go I."

Question: Who was that multi-millionaire llama with big ears who ran for the U.S Presidency?
Answer: Ross Peru.

(Countries no longer existent may be used) The underworked handyman in Prague complained "All I have to do today is Czechoslovacuum cleaner."


Before I'm accused of taking all the "good" countries, I'll toss this over to the rest of y'all.
February 21, 2003, 11:57
C J Strolin
13 views and no replies!! Once again I find myself in the minority regarding what I think might be fun. Oh, well...

You say you can't think of a geographical pun? I don't Bolivia! You can do it! You just have to Belize in yourself! If you can't think of a real good one, Denmark down whatever comes to mind.

I heard Boris Becker is ill. He caught a Germany missed two tournaments

(an oldie but a goodie from way back: )
1st man: I just sent my wife to the most beautiful island in the world.
2nd man: Jamaica?
1st man: Oh, no! She wanted to go!

And, lastly, a topical one:
Question: What do you do when the United Nations is slow in giving you the go-ahead to start a war?
Answer: You don't attack, Kuwait.


B.H. & R.E., I am appointing you joint-Kings of this thread. It is your responsibility now to get things humming.
February 23, 2003, 22:36
<Asa Lovejoy>
I remember an Eastern European who terminated her pregnancy, producing a cancelled Czech.

When the Romanian woman's car refused to go into gear, her husband queried, "What's wrong with your trans, Sylvania?"

How do we get to the capital of Senegal? We go in Dakar.

And, or course, George Bush says of Jacques Chirac, "European on my war."
February 23, 2003, 22:40
<Asa Lovejoy>
Asa, after we finish our sweet and sour pork, what do you say we go out and Taiwan
on?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, CJ, did you know that the most common personality type in Formosa is Taipei ?
February 23, 2003, 23:28
Hic et ubique
Great idea for this thread, CJ.

An old song is running through my head. It went something like, "What did Delaware to the party? She wore a New Jersey."

Can't remember any more of it, but I'm pretty sure my wife will. Remind me, and Alaska about it tomorrow.
February 23, 2003, 23:31
Hic et ubique
PS: It is an odd geographical fact that the states of Kansas and Missouri each have a major city named Kansas City.

Thus proving that even when you're stuck in Kansas City, you don't have to be Missourible about it.
February 24, 2003, 02:01
arnie
Oh what did Del-a-ware boy, what did Delaware
What did Del-a-ware boy, what did Delaware
She wore a brand New Jersey,
She wore a brand New Jersey,
She wore a brand New Jersey,
That's what she did wear

One, two, three, four
Oh, why did Cali-fon-ia
Why did Cali-fon
why did Cali-fon-ia
Was she all alone
She called to say Ha-wa-ya
She called to say Ha-wa-ya
She called to say Ha-wa-ya
That's why she did call

Uno, deis, tre, quatro
Oh what did Missi sip boy
What did Missi sip
What did missi sip
Through her pretty lips
She sipped a Minne sota
She sipped a Minne sota
She sipped a Minne sota
That's what she did sip
Where has Oregon boy
Where has Oregon
If you wan Al-ask-a
Go ahead and ask her
She went to pay her Texas
She went to pay her Texas
She went to pay her Texas
That's where she has gone

Well how did Wis-con-sin boy
She stole a New-brass-key
Too bad that Arkan saw boy
And so did Tenne-see
It made poor Flori-di boy
It made poor Flori-di, you see
She died in Miss-our-I boy
She died in Miss-our-I
Oh what did Del-a-ware boy, what did Delaware...
February 24, 2003, 09:35
C J Strolin
quote:
Originally posted by Asa Lovejoy:
So, CJ, did you know that the most common personality type in Formosa is Taipei ?


Best one yet, Asa! (although, just to be precise about it, Taiwan hasn't been Formosa for many years now)

Along similar lines, those in the states who resent the fact that California tends to lead the nation in regards to trends and such refer to this phenomenon as the "Californication" of the country.
February 24, 2003, 16:06
wordnerd
Any Marks Brothers fan knows that elephant tusks are tightly attached to the skull, except in Alabama, where the Tuscaloosa.

And then there was the letter that was addressed to

Wood
Mr.
Mass.

The postal service, after some reflection, delivered it to "Mr. Underwood, Andover, Mass(achusetts)".
February 24, 2003, 18:28
<Asa Lovejoy>
Taiwan hasn't been Formosa
for many years now)
__________________________________________
Yeah, but it was Formosa the last century.
February 25, 2003, 09:18
Kalleh
Euthanasia :: Youth in Asia
March 01, 2003, 15:04
Hic et ubique
quote:
Can't remember any more of it, but I'm pretty sure my wife will. Remind me, and Alaska about it tomorrow.


Finally got around to asking her. She looked at me with an evil twinkle in her eye and said, "Why, don't Juneau?"

C'mon CJ, chime in. This thread has potential. Wink
March 01, 2003, 18:52
<Asa Lovejoy>
I just learned that ancient Bulgaria vanished without a Thrace.
March 03, 2003, 19:32
<Asa Lovejoy>
Hey, CJ, did I do something wrong? Where'd everybody go?

Lonely Asa
March 03, 2003, 19:40
shufitz
Asa's right, CJ. Oman! Has some anonyMuscat got your tongue? You Dubai into this, don't you?

[This message was edited by shufitz on Mon Mar 3rd, 2003 at 19:49.]
March 03, 2003, 21:01
Kalleh
Indiana is called the Hoosier State, though nobody really knows why. When sports teams are losing by large deficits and the fans (young clods) don't have anything else to yell, the hooligans will often yell, "Hoosier daddy!"
March 03, 2003, 21:52
<Asa Lovejoy>
Indiana is called the Hoosier State, though nobody really knows why.
==================================
Perhaps because it sounds nicer than Hoser? Roll Eyes
March 03, 2003, 21:56
<Asa Lovejoy>
Be glad you're in Indiana, Kalleh; I'm stuck here in the "Beaver State," and I don't get any more here than elsewhere! I know there's a pun about that operation I had turning me into a nutria here, but darned if I can find it...
March 04, 2003, 13:17
C J Strolin
quote:
Originally posted by Hic et ubique:
C'mon CJ, chime in. This thread has potential. Wink


I agree but why are you asking me to chime in?

I left this thread in the capable (I thought) hands of PunMasters R.E. and B.H. in the assumption that they would pick up the Bali and run with it.

And no, Asa, everything's fine. I didn't answer before this only because I pulled a cerebral hamstring trying to compose a double dactyl on another thread.
March 04, 2003, 13:42
BobHale
quote:
Originally posted by C J Strolin:
I left this thread in the capable (I thought) hands of PunMasters R.E. and B.H. in the assumption that they would pick up the Bali and run with it.


My lawyers will be in touch.

Vescere bracis meis.

Read all about my travels around the world here.
March 04, 2003, 14:37
<Asa Lovejoy>
I pulled a cerebral hamstring trying to compose a double dactyl
__________________________________________

Considering the frequent location of my head, I would have pulled a cerebral gluteus maximus, so be glad that's all you did!

Now, is a double dactyl a pair of ancient flying lizards, Ptairadactyls?
March 04, 2003, 19:09
Kalleh
Asa--get thee to the double dactyl thread posthaste! Big Grin
March 05, 2003, 15:22
C J Strolin
Me: Kalleh, you're heterosexual, right?
Kalleh: Yep, Isle of Man!

"Bhutan up your overcoat, when the wind is free..."

Where do I get m' milk? From Macao, of course!
Kenya come up with a worse pun than that?
Norway!


(I only came back to this thread because my damn double dactlys are turning on me!)
March 08, 2003, 08:19
<Asa Lovejoy>
CJ: Kalleh, you're heterosexual, right?
Kalleh: Yep, Isle of Man!
___________________________________________
Were she to go to a monastery there, would she be a Manx minx among monks?
March 08, 2003, 18:10
Morgan
My son's favorite joke when growing up:

Q: Where's Moscow?

A: In the barn, next to pa's cow!
March 09, 2003, 04:16
Richard English
Actually, a lot of people don't know where the Isle on Man is.

Well, here's a clue - it's nowhere near the Virgin Islands

Richard English
March 09, 2003, 15:38
Hic et ubique
Lewis Carroll:

There was a young lady of station,
"I love man!" was her sole exclamation;
When the men said, "You flatter,"
She replied, "Oh! no matter."
Isle of Man is the true explanation.

PS: Isn't that where the manx cat-breed comes from?
(PPS: "manx minx among monks"? Shaking my head in bemused awe. Try saying that 5 times quickly, especially if you substitute "amongst".)
March 10, 2003, 12:34
C J Strolin
"Doctor Harris!! 'Isle of Man'!! It's... It's a COOKBOOK!!!

Two points to the first person to correctly identify this misquotation. (Heh, heh...)
March 10, 2003, 14:13
<Asa Lovejoy>
Said CJ:Bhutan up your overcoat, when the wind is free...
_______________________________________
So, you're into fart-filled frocks, are you? Did the gas eminate from Djabouti? And they've found non-clumping salt in another Arabic country. When it Bahrains, it pours.
March 10, 2003, 14:16
Richard English
Quite correct.

The best ones are "rumpies" which have nothing but a hollow where the tail would normally be. Those that have interbred may have a very small tail and they are known as "stumpies"

Those with just half a tail have probably been playing "last across" during TT fortnight!

Richard English
March 10, 2003, 15:44
C J Strolin
Excellent! And a new person (?) got it!

The Twilight Zone episode in question, when you really examined it, really made no sense for one major reason applicable to this forum. The term "to serve" would have to have the same double meaning in both English and in the language of the Cannabits which, obviously, would be a bit of a long shot.

My "Doctor Harris" was a guess since I really don't remember the guy's name but the huge benevolent (or so everyone thought) beings were called either "Cannabits" (accent on second syllable) or something extremely close to that. I remember reading a review suggesting that the term was coined to resemble "cannibal." Either way, it was one of the best episodes ever aired.

For the sake of trivia, the main Cannabit was played by the same guy who later played the James Bond villian "Jaws," the 7+ foot tall guy with metal teeth.

Welcome aboard (or is it "back"?) Revenant! (def: "One who returns after a long absence" [interesting] or "One who returns from the dead" [interesting-er!])
March 10, 2003, 18:26
Morgan
Welcome aBoard Revenant! So happy to have a new voice! Big Grin

CJ, I agree, that was a wonderful episope of The Twilight Zone.
March 11, 2003, 02:01
arnie
I never saw the Twilight Zone episode, but I do remember reading the original short story, by Damon Knight. See http://www.fictionwise.com/ebooks/eBook45.htm

A synopsis of the Twilight Zone episode is at http://members.cox.net/kaiotea/serveman.htm

Note that the alien is called a Kanamit, not a Cannabit.
March 12, 2003, 07:21
<Asa Lovejoy>
the alien is called a Kanamit, not a Cannabit.
______________________________________

I thought that cannabit was the stuff Bill Clinton didn't inhale, even though he can - a bit.
March 12, 2003, 08:48
Richard English
The Manx Parliament, the House of Keys, is claimed to be the World's oldest legislature.

All beer brewed in the Isle of Man must confirm with Manx purity standards (which are similar to those of the Bavarian Reinheitsgebot). Chemical concoctions like A-B Budweiser cannot be brewed in the Island (although sadly they can be sold there).

Richard English
March 12, 2003, 12:23
C J Strolin
quote:
Originally posted by arnie:
Note that the alien is called a _Kanamit_, not a Cannabit.

Quite right. If you check my post on this I said it was either Cannabit or something like it. I was going just on memory, being too lazy (or, really, not wanting to bother spending the time) to google the episode up to confirm the spelling.

On a similar note: It's odd but studies have shown that children today are losing their understanding of the concept of "clockwise" vs. "counter-clockwise" (or, again just from memory and this time based on some British spy movie of the 60's, "anti-clockwise" in UK English) largely because of the way wristwatches with digital faces have so greatly replaced those with rotating hands. But take this thought to its next logical step. I believe it would be a sad thing if the power of human memory was similarly diminished over time simply because it became so easy to rely on search engines.

Now there's a Twilight Zone episode waiting to be written.
March 12, 2003, 12:40
BobHale
quote:
Originally posted by C J Strolin:
(or, again just from memory and this time based on some British spy movie of the 60's, "_anti_-clockwise" in UK English)


This time your memory doesn't play you false. Over here it is indeed anticlockwise (usually spelled with no hyphen).

Vescere bracis meis.

Read all about my travels around the world here.
March 13, 2003, 01:44
Richard English
I suspect that this worry has been around ever since the invention of writing and the gradual increase of literacy.

I suppose the benefit is that we can now be a little more selective in what we try to remember, secure in the knowledge that forgetfulness need not mean complete loss - providing we have taken the trouble to record the data.

Richard English
March 13, 2003, 02:30
arnie
I expect that when The Iliad and The Odyssey were first written down, ancient poets complained about the fact that it was no longer necessary to remember every line...
March 15, 2003, 17:02
Morgan
I just watched (no, don't ask me why) the movie "The Naked Gun 2 1/2" which is a satirical movie. I spotted in one crowd scene, actor Lloyd Bochner, who played Michael Chambers in the above mentioned episode of The Twilight Zone. He was running around with a copy of the book "To Serve Man". Sorry, I just had to laugh, and share that with you! Big Grin
March 15, 2003, 17:30
shufitz
Quote: "...I believe it would be a sad thing if the power of human memory was similarly diminished over time simply because it became so easy to rely on search engines..."
Quote of response: "I suspect that this worry has been around ever since the invention of writing and the gradual increase of literacy."

With calculators ubiquitous, will the next generation know how to multiply and divide (let alone add and subtract) with pencil and paper? Before you answer a quick "yes," consider: does anyone still know how to compute a square root by pencil and paper?
March 16, 2003, 09:59
<Asa Lovejoy>
Lloyd Bochner,
=======================

Wow! I hadn't heard of him in thirty years! He was one of those character actors who was almost ubiquitous, but rarely noticed.