Twelve limericks from six writers this week, in a completely independently randomized order. Choose your favourite!<BR><BR><BR>1. I'm invited to dinner at Reading.<BR>It's a visit I find myself dreading.<BR>Seems each time I go<BR>The Earl puts on a show<BR>That will end with a random beheading.<BR><BR>2. Said a nervous young bridegroom from Reading<BR>"I'm not scared at all of the wedding<BR>It's what happens next<BR>That has me so vexed<BR>I need to know more about bedding!"<BR><BR>3. Shopping for bedding in Reading<BR>In winter is something I'm dreading.<BR>I'll take my toboggan,<BR>And crash on my noggin!<BR>No sledding with bedding in Reading!<BR><BR>4. I once loved a girl raised in Reading,<BR>Where we planned a wonderful wedding,<BR>Which I called off because<BR>I found out she was<BR>The same girl my best man was bedding.<BR><BR>5. Whenever I think about Reading,<BR>Monopoly's where I am heading.<BR>But this one's a borough<BR>That makes my brow furrow<BR>From all of the history I'm treading.<BR><BR>6. A nightmare-wracked sleeper in Reading<BR>Was alll tangled up in the bedding<BR>Having dreamed of a scene<BR>With a tall guillotine<BR>He woke up still dreading beheading.<BR><BR>7. A mafia Don moved to Reading<BR>To escape from the fate he was dreading<BR>But still woke up one day<BR>With a sense of dismay<BR>In bed with an equine beheading.<BR><BR>8. When Oscar Wilde was in Reading<BR>He didn't complain of the bedding.<BR>Cooling his heels in the Gaol,<BR>Took paper and pen - made'em wail.<BR>The gaoler on Oscar's not treading<BR><BR>9. I got in my car and was heading<BR>To visit a fellow in Reading,<BR>but once I arrived<BR>It felt quite contrived:<BR>With candles, perfume and silk bedding.<BR><BR>10. A newly-wed couple from Reading<BR>Went shopping to buy some new bedding.<BR>As she fondled a sheet,<BR>He mentioned the heat;<BR>I think we know where this is heading.<BR><BR>11. With my dog team, I'm mushing to Reading<BR>To meet with the woman I'm bedding.<BR>But there's been a delay<BR>So I can't leave till May,<BR>Which makes for a mass of tough sledding.<BR><BR>12. A father who hailed from Reading<BR>Discovered what he was most dreading,<BR>But fearing it more<BR>Was his daughter for sure -<BR>A snap of the sweet sixteen spreading.Which is your favourite limerick?<BR><BR>(This week in Roman numerals to add flavour)IIIIIIIVVVIVIIVIIIIXXXIXII

Interesting... 5 votes so far spread between two limericks with EXACTLY the same A-rhymes.

Yeah, there were definitely a few recurring themes this week, particularly fear, execution and linen.

Well, I imagine that's all that's coming in in terms of votes, and it looks pretty clear.

Proof's first stab started us off on the theme of execution and took a whopping 33% of the vote - plenty to get you into government, but unfortunately not enough for the Limerick Game this time.

Bob's Godfather-themed masterpiece did the trick though and, as he pointed out, using exactly the same A-rhymes, so it just goes to show you that those other words in between are worth something!

Soooo, although it would be on Bob to choose the next place, I understand he's moving to a new city today and will be without Internet for a while. In that case, we default to the runner-up. Take it away, Proof!

Hi Stanley,

It would be nice to know who's responsible for the others. For the record I was responsible for 4 and 12.

I am quite surprised that I got no votes, given that I met nearly all the criteria for winning this contest. Perfect unambiguous rhymes, and specially for Kalleh's benefit what I thought was spot-on meter, and both my limericks were a little bit blue with reasonable punch lines, and in one case with "raised in Reading - wonderful wedding - best man was bedding" a bit of alliteration in each of the A-Rhyme lines. The perfect formula for success and yet I didn't pull a single vote.

It's like when you back a horse that has won its last 4 in Group races, is a track specialist and has weather conditions to suit and the best jockey on board and it doesn't run a drum.

But no matter how many of the winning criteria you meet, anyone can be beaten by a better horse/limerick on the day.

Down the aisle the young bride haled from Reading
Twas a grin big as sin she was shreading
For it seems that she knew
Her last blowjob she blew
Was the one she gave right before wedding

Oh yeah, thanks Greg, I forgot to say who did which ones!

Not with the detail made famous by bethree5, but...

Proof - 1 and 11
Bob - 2, 6 and 7
Geoff - 3 and 8
Greg - 4 and 12
Kalleh - 5 and 9
Stanley - 10

I had a last-minute maybe-I-ought-to-have-a-go-since-I-chose-the-damn-place

Greg, I'll have you know that perfect meter and impeccable rhyme are unnecessary incumbrances in our games.

I hereby open a new, enriched limerick game and hope you will all join in to celebrate a fine Rhode Island village known for its air of relentless disappointment: The village of

HOPE

Well, wasn't that a coincidence. Send me your efforts, good or bad. Any lurkers on the site who watch anonymously are invited to join in by sending in a PM to me.

I'll put up a thread for the new game tomorrow so everyone can enjoy this one.

I voted for Bob's, so I'll send mine to him.

Shoot - I didn't vote. I'll get mine to you in the next day or two, Proof. I don't feel too "poetic" right now.