April 24, 2005, 05:53
DianthusWhat computer sales speak REALLY means
Powerful: - won't run on my system.
New/improved - they've removed most of the things that
would run on my system.
Revolutionary: - we think we've got most of the bugs out/it runs on our state of the art systems
Keenly priced: - I can't afford it.
Introductory Price - the first 100 at that price, then we'll double it.
Bargain bundle: - we can't shift these on their own (also see must have part b).
Price in large print: - excludes taxes, delivery and other charges, so add on half as much again.
More features than ever: - will you ever use them all?
Price in very large print: - look carefully at all the small print.
Best seller: - we've got the monopoly.
Must have: - a)much-hyped. b)we've ordered too many and need to get rid of them.
Easy to use: - patronising instruction manual.
For serious/professional users: - only programmers can understand the instruction manual.
New in this country: - insturcnti manula badli trsltated from a fogrni lngwg.
April 24, 2005, 18:14
<Asa Lovejoy>You remind me of the time back in the 1980s when I had a date with a female computer geek. The first thing she asked me was, "How big is your hard drive?" I thought that to be a bit forward, but I replied that I supposed it was about average. Then she really embarrassed me by asking how much RAM I had! "Well," I replied, "If size really matters that much to you, maybe you should look elsewhere." She then stated that it was no matter - she could fix me up with twice as much for little outlay. Good grief! Propositioned on a first date! And for a surgical procedure no less! I was trying desperately to think of an excuse for leaving when she asked, "Do you do it in Windows, or do you prefer the old-fashioned way?" I do hope she didn't catch cold walking home.