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Beware the Festive Dog

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June 03, 2005, 18:22
shufitz
Beware the Festive Dog
One finds poetic wasdom in these directions for motorists in Japan (circa 1935), once line-breaks are added.

And what truer credo was ever spoken than "Beware the Festive Dog"?

Beware the Festive Dog

At the rise of the hand,
of policeman, stop rapidly.
Do not pass him by
or otherwise disrespect him.

When a passenger of the foot
hove in sight, tootle the horn trumpet
to him melodiously at first.
If he still obstacles your passage,
tootle him with vigor
and express by word of the mouth
the warning "Hi, Hi!"

Beware the wandering horse
that he shall not take fright
as you pass him.
Do not explode
the exhaust box at him.
Go soothingly by
or stop by the road-side
till he pass away.

Give big space
to the festive dog
that makes sport
in the road-way.
Avoid entanglement of dog
with your wheel-spokes.

Go soothingly on the grease-mud,
as there lurk the skid demon.
Press the brake of the foot
as you roll round the corners
to save the collapse
and tie-up.
June 05, 2005, 11:50
Richard English
Makes my point about poetry very well. Just add some punctuation and line breaks at appropriate points and you have a Turner prize-winning entry. No, scrap that, it will be too artistic for the Turner.

Tell you what, write in on toilet paper, stuff it all into a jamjar with a dead mouse and call it "the futility of life". That should do the trick.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Richard English,


Richard English
June 05, 2005, 13:32
BobHale
quote:
Originally posted by Richard English:

Tell you what, write in on toilet paper, stuff it all into a jamjar with a dead mouse and call it "the futility of life". That should do the trick.


Richard ! I had no idea that you were such a talented conceptual artist.

My favorite - even better than "The lights go on... ...and off" was a piece at a Birmingham gallery (this is the loosest use of the word "piece" that you will ever find) in which the artist had written out on cards the descriptions of what the works would be if he ever chose to make them and then displayed the cards on otherwise empty walls and empty plinths.

All of a sudden "The lights go on and off" and "mMy bed" start to look like great works by comparison.


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
June 05, 2005, 14:07
Richard English
quote:
Richard ! I had no idea that you were such a talented conceptual artist.

Now all I need to do is to find a few really rich and/or influential people who'll tell the world of the cosmic importance of my work and I'll be on easy street!

I promise I'll pay for all wordcrafters ro come to England for "Wordfest 2006" when we all meet in the West Midlands in 18 months time.


Richard English
June 06, 2005, 20:08
Kalleh
Yes, it reminds me of the big black painting at the Art Institute. That's art! Roll Eyes