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Misused words

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August 18, 2002, 20:02
Kalleh
Misused words
There are many words that are misused. For example, President Bush mistakenly used the words (?) misfeance and subliminable recently. Now, I don't want to make this a political thread please! However, what other words can you think of that are creatively used???? roll eyes
August 19, 2002, 03:28
arnie
Mrs Malaprop, a character in Sheridan's play The Rivals was probably the best-known exponent of this. The word malapropism was coined to describe such misuse of words. An allied error is the spoonerism, from the Reverend William Archibald Spooner, an English cleric. He would frequently transpose words or parts of words from one part of a sentence to another -- such as when the Reverend, after pronouncing a couple man and wife, said, "It is kisstomary to cuss the bride."

Some examples of malapropisms:

Misfeance and subliminable sound like attempts at saying misfeasance and subliminal -- learning Latin at school would probably help here. razz
August 19, 2002, 07:37
<Asa Lovejoy>
Hey, arnie, have you got a copy of the old (published in 1931) book, Boners? It contains the ones you cited, so they've been around for a loooong time. Here are some more:
Acrimony, sometimes called holy, is another name for marriage. Ali Baba means being away when the crime was committed. Ambiguity means telling the truth when you don't mean to. An epitaph is a short, sarcastic poem. Pope wrote principally in heroic cutlets. Quinine is the bark of a tree; canine is the bark of a dog. Medieval cathedrals were supported by flying buttocks.
August 19, 2002, 17:35
wildflowerchild
was that a real dubyah word, or did they make it up on saturday night live?
August 19, 2002, 18:38
Morgan
The three types of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.

Adolescence is the stage between puberty and adultery.

The Indian squabs carried porpoises on their back.

Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis.
August 19, 2002, 18:44
Angel
Having one wife is called monotony.

Acrimony is what a man pays to his divorced wife.

When a man has more than one wife, he is a pigamist.
August 20, 2002, 02:29
<Asa Lovejoy>
Gender is the destruction of sex.

Masculine: man; feminine, woman; neuter. corpse.

The plural of forget-me-not is forget-us-not.

They gave William IV a lovely funeral. It took six men to carry the beer.

Louis XVI was gelatined during the French Revolution.

My brother was kicked because he was wicked in the seat of his pants.

Letters in sloping type are in hysterics.

The jockey lost two of his teeth when his horse fell, and had to be destroyed.

The wife of a duke is a ducky.

Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock
September 02, 2002, 06:47
museamuse
I am guilty of these two malapropisms (but I was only nine and trying to show off. Nonetheless my mother will never let me live them down)

"Did you hear about that Russian dancer that defecated to the West?'

Me: Oh these poor people in the village!
Mother: Why, Thalia?
Me: Because they don't have a library.
Mother: Most of them can't read though.
Me: You mean they're all illegitimate?!
September 23, 2002, 17:42
Hic et ubique
This just found on today's aol. Credit author Kim Isaacs, MA, CPRW, NCRW; abridged by me.

Ten Classic Resume Bloopers - Know Them So You Won't Make Them

If you've ever watched those TV blooper shows, you know how funny slip-ups, gaffes and blunders can be. But while laughter may be good for the soul, it's certainly not the response you want your resume to produce.

Baby Boomers (or Gen-X and Gen-Y fans of Nick at Nite) will recall the often hilarious pronouncements of Archie Bunker, the patriarch of the popular 1970s sitcom "All in the Family." With just a slight slip of the tongue, Archie's intended meanings frequently became completely convoluted (e.g., "consecration" instead of "concentration" and "mental pause" instead of "menopause").

... culled from real-life resumes from all levels, industries and career fields:

1. "Revolved customer problems and inquiries." -- an expert in passing the buck.
2. "Consistently tanked as top sales producer for new accounts."
3. "Dramatically increased exiting account base, achieving new company record."
4. "Planned new corporate facility at $3 million over budget."
-- Every hiring manager is searching for employees who exceed budgets by millions of dollars.
5. "Directed $25 million anal shipping and receiving operations."
6. "Participated in the foamation of a new telecommunications company."
-- bubble control.
7."Promoted to district manger to oversee 37 retail storefronts."
8. "Experienced supervisor, defective with both rookies and seasoned professionals."
-- Many of us have had a boss like this at some point in our careers
9. "I am seeking a salary commiserate with my training and experience."
10. "Seeking a party-time position with potential for advancement."
-- Sounds like a fun job.
September 24, 2002, 02:30
Morgan
Hic...#9 sounds like something I could write this morning! "I am seeking a salary commiserate with my training and experience." Too funny! razz
September 24, 2002, 19:42
shufitz
My daughter that as the class filtered on the first day of her third-year french class, in high school, they saw that their new teacher had written Jem'pelle on the blackboard.¹

As the class came to order, one of the girls raised her hand and, when called upon, began, "Excuse me, Mr. Giamappelli."

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¹In french, "Je m'pelle _______" means "My name is ______."