Someone sent me this quiz. I didn't do too good with the answers. How good are you?

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.



2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?



3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?



4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?



5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?



6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ' dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them.



7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?



8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.



9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'

Answers later

1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends. Boxing

2. North American landmark constantly moving backward. Niagara Falls (The rim is worn down about two and a half feet eacha year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.)

3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons.

Asparagus and rhubarb.

4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside. Strawberry.

5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.

6. Three English words beginning with dw. Dwarf, dwell and dwindle.

7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar. Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.

8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any

other form but fresh. Lettuce..

9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S'.

Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.

Well, damn - you gave the answers! No fair!!! I actually knew a couple of them! Walk barefoot around my wife's dogs and you'll find another "S" word on your feet. Also, I think the Statue of Liberty is always going backwards, unless the tide's really high. And #4 is Paul Lynde of "Hollywood Squares" after an watching a porn flick.

quote:

Paul Lynde of "Hollywood Squares"

Wow! Are you in a time warp. Paul Lynde has been extinct since 1982.

Is the other substance Simonize? There's also strudel and spaghetti and Snausages.

I see by his biography that he is indeed dead. No wonder Hollywood Squares isn't any good any more. I also see that he started out in NY as a Stan Dupp comedian. Just who was the eponymous Mr Dupp? Did he have a brother named Phil, who ran a gas station? And another brother, Bill, who was a motivational speaker? I also understand that a cousin was a basketball player famous for drawing so many fouls that there came to be a saying, "Situation Normal, All Fouled Dupp."

They also had a sister who was a famous meteorologist, Clair Dupp. I think she married the porn star, Warner Schtup.

quote:

Originally posted by Proofreader:
Clair Dupp... married the porn star, Warner Schtup.

After which she became Knock Dupp.

I was watching golf and saw her athlete brother, T. Dupp. And of course, like all pros, he shaved his head so they're calling him "Bald" Dupp.

quote:

like all pros, he shaved his head

I think you are confusing him with his junkie brother, Mess Dupp.

There was another cousin, a movie stunt man, Bang Dupp.

I recall the poor ancestor who worked with Eli Whitney and became the first casualty when he fell into the cotton gin: "Scrunch" Dupp.

Or the cowboy, Wadd Ed Dupp.

And let's not forget the twin girls, Call Dupp, the hooker, and Dial Dupp the telephone operator.

Or the uncle who ran the deliver service: Fed Dupp.

He had a son who like to be well-dressed: Dude Ed Dupp.

No, no, nooo, Fed Dupp is a talk radio host. There's another very confrontive talk radio host who shouts down people he disagrees with, Shudd Dupp.

There was the long-lost brother Turn Dupp.
And the brother who overdosed on Viagra: "Bone" Dupp.
It was also reported that a California wildfire took the life of another relative: Bern Dupp.

Plus the impressionist Sen Dupp. And the miserable automaton Whine Dupp.

The profligate sister, Livit Dupp.

When Livit Dupp settled down with Adam Apple-Ling and had kids, they were the Apple-Dupp-Ling Gang.

BTW, what was the title of this thread? I plumb forgot. It's taken on a life of its own, like this one on the model airplane site I frequent:
http://www.rcgroups.com/forums...thread.php?t=1086669
It starts getting fun about post 46

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Asa Lovejoy,

The hopeless sister, Givit Dupp, and the recovering alcoholic sister Kleen Dupp.

The beach bum, Wash Dupp, and his curious sister Liftit Dupp.

There's one in every family, the lunatic uncle, Crank Dupp.

The leader of mule trips into the Grand Canyon, "Saddle" Dupp.

The inept Admiral Bottom Dupp.

quote:

his curious sister Liftit Dupp.

Plus her near-namesake, the revivalist preacher Lifti Dupp.

Strange how your mind can play tricks on you. I thought that Lifti Dupp was an Olympic weight-lifter.

However, I do recall the Doctor, Scrub Dupp. He married the psychiatrist, Screw Dupp. She was not happy with his alcoholic brother, "Belly" Dupp. He of course was eaten by the alligator and the entire family was perturbed when the papers called him "Crunch" Dupp.

Then there was their rich plumber relative, "Plug" Dupp.

Plug Dupp later got rich selling disposable diapers under the trade name, "Dry-Dupp."

There was also a cousin who ran around with the least-known Marx brother, Skid, who drove the getaway car for bank robbers. His name was Hell Dupp.

I thought Skid Marx made his money dry-claning underwear.
The Marx brothers also had another brother, the track and field runner, Onyer Marx. I remember the tremendous race he lost to a famous Chinese runner Geh Tset Go.

Then there was a Scandinavian runner, the Finn, Ishline.

Let's hear it for the famous English girl athlete Wynn Place-Shew

Annnnd for that famous VietNamese athlete, Nguyen Ng.

We seem to entering into the realm of the English writer Fairley Farrah-Field.

And the poet who inhabits the farmer's turf in the county seat of Lane County, Oregon is Eugene Field.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Asa Lovejoy,

Speaking about poetry, if you write a limerick about a hotel is that inverse?

I'm pretty sure if the poem was about a circus cyclist it would be universe.

Inverseness is where they write about golf in rhymes.

Then Transverse would be where they write about vampires.

Or vampires who dress in drag.

When you go to a school dance, do you enter through the promulgate?

Only if the prom gate is approved by Underwriter's Laboratories.

I have a plan to open a soft drink factory in Florida and call my product Pensacola.

And serve it to a pensive Koala?

My brother's suing a strip club for hiring pole dancers. He says Irish girls need jobs, too.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Proofreader,

They do also employ Lapp dancers.

The final touches in the strip club were done by Finnish carpenters. Then a bunch of slavs came Russian in.

Once that pole dancer din’t cut the mustard
Since her skinniness left us disgusted.
Now she gets more sly glances
Whenever she dances --
Thanks to surgery, now she’s re-busted.

At the big ones men goggle and stare
At any old woman who'll share
A view of her tits,
Yet they're all such dim-wits,
For the good stuff's located elsewhere!

So the good stuff I thought now to find
And to help me a woman so kind
Said, "You'll find with no strain
Her best part is her brain."
That dumb bimbo is out of her mind.