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Picture of stella
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The next limerick destination, although far, far away, is a place to which most of us probably have some connection one way or another, whether we know it or not. It springs to mind because I’m listening to the superb audio recording of The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga (Booker 2008) and have India on the brain.

This competition will be based on the city of BANGALORE, economic hotspot and IT capital of all India and outsourcing call-centre of all the world.

Online dictionaries give an anapaestic PG (bang-guh-LAWR) but for the adventurous there’s also a secondary PG (BANG-guh-lawr).

Entries by PM as usual.
 
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Picture of Proofreader
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I assume anyone submitting "bang a whore" is automatically eliminated?


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
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I hope so.
 
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Picture of Kalleh
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Boy, I'd normally pronounce it the second way. Thanks for the heads up!
 
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Picture of stella
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Not many entries so far - one, in fact. How about you other people? I thought this would be easy for y'all.
 
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Picture of Kalleh
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Well, for some ridiculous reason, I sent mine to David! He alerted me, and you now have it.
 
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Picture of BobHale
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I'll get one to you today if I remember.
 
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Picture of stella
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I'll prod you if you forget.
 
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Since I ruled out a primary phrase, I've been singularly uninspired. I'll try to get one out.


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
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I also will make an effort to send one today, except that the today in which I do so is today rather than two days ago.
 
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I have made the aforementioned effort.
 
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Picture of stella
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Heh, heh! I'll look yesterday.
 
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Picture of stella
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Snap!
 
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Picture of stella
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There's been a flurry of activity over the last day or so - any last minute entries send them in the next 12 hrs - judging tomorrow.
 
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Check your mail for the last I'll submit.
I am hopeful it sparkles with wit.
Strong emotions I'll move
And I pray you'll approve
This insiipid and crass piece of ****.


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
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Picture of stella
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Here are limericks on old Bangalore:
Some are clean, some are lewd (not hardcore).
You all gave it your best,
But now give it a rest,
Cos we really don’t need any more.


Richard warmed to the subject quickly and showed stamina, producing a limerick a day for four whole days. Great effort! He captured the flavour of India well, I thought, and thoroughly covered a certain section of it.

While loving in old Bangalore
My girl said, "You know I adore
You, but please when we love,
Could you not stay above,
There are ways that I like it much more".

Whilst wandering round Bangalore
There's one thing that's hard to ignore:
The smoldering glances
And subtle advances
Of those Indian girls I adore.

If you walk around old Bangalore,
You'll find a bazaar there for sure
Where Indian suppliers
Fill all men's desires
And women's (who often have more).

If you fancy a fine Asian whore -
Well there're plenty in old Bangalore.
Of every gender
You'll get a fine bender -
And also you'll maybe get sore.


Three cheers for Kalleh in this otherwise male-dominated sport. She flew the flag for the ladies with a nice topical IT limerick and (apart from the promise to visit in “hot Bangalore” but I think that was just a climatic reference) somehow managed to keep sex right out of it.

To the tech I said, "Sir I implore...
My computer has problems galore.
Can you fix it right now?
If you do I will vow
To visit in hot Bangalore!"


Not so proof who, after initially expressing some performance anxiety, rose to the occasion and even managed an encore. Once again colourful little snippets of India for our edification and good rhymes though possibly the metre in the odd place might have been just a little smoother.

Jeb Raltar was seen in Lahore
When he should have been in Bangalore.
“It may not seem brainy
But Lahore, when it’s rainy,
Lets each house share a piece of the shore.”

An Untouchable in Bangalore
Was a woman who men tried to score
Offering lots of rupees
If she’d spread both her knees.
“Sari, no. I’m low but I’m no whore.”

A studly man in Bangalore
Was told, “Stop! My poor banger is sore.”
And she called off the sex
Although him it did vex.
“Are we through -- you I can’t bang no more?”



Dark horse, David , cantered home, raising the limerick from out of the gutter in which some would say it belongs. I really liked his unexpected theme and his inventiveness in nailing the alt pronunciation. Sadly, David, you have not placed the destination on L1 and since you’ve been here at least 2 weeks I really expect you to know such things.

A Brief Limerick Saga

The end was the part of the score
That the corpulent dame sang before.
Now we don't know the end
Since they followed the trend--
She was outsourced to old Bangalore.

The critics unloaded harangue galore:
In Act Four (the eighth scene) when she sang, "Alors!"
It was shrill, sharp and rough.
She was not fat enough
To conclude that bad opera in Bangalore.


And in the end, Bob didn’t need to be prodded into making an effort for two easy pieces which also complemented each other nicely. At first I balked at his sums, but I think he’s saying that the first ten were included in the fifteen, not on top of them, so OK. I love that last internal repetition and for this I award him first prize.

A young man from far Bangalore
Said, "Sex here's a bit of a bore,
And what's more, though it's nice
To attempt once or twice,
Much more and I just end up sore."

A young man from far Bangalore
Said, "Now I have done it some more
I've had ten then fifteen
Then five more so I mean
Keeping score, I have scored with a score."


Take it away, Bob!
 
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Well done, Bob. I look forward to the challenge of a Black Country nameplace...


Richard English
 
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If you will check the thread on Dildo, you will find that, upon my mentioning the placement of the name of the destination, Proofreader noted that the destination may be named in any A-rhyme line. From BobHale's post establishing the game:

One person posts the name of a place - could be a country or a town or a village or whatever.

If it's somewhere not generally known the person posting also provides a pronunciation guide.

Everybody else provides a limerick by PM to the originator, the only rules being

1. It must be of the classical "person from place" form

2. The place name must be in the A-rhyme position.

When the originator has enough he publishes them and chooses his or her favourite to provide the next place name.


Not that Bob's limericks were not perfectly magnificent.

By the way, it appears that the sense of Lines 3 and 4 of Bob's second limerick is sequential, not additive.
 
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Picture of BobHale
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Thank you.

I shall let my drinking buddy John choose a place for us when I see him in the pub in about two hours and fourteen minutes.
 
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Sorry if I may have posted incorrect info, David. I hadn't seen that particular comment and I've submitted several where the subject was not in the first line without having my typing hands slapped. I also think I have seen comments about the subject not being required there.


Give a man a fish and he can eat for one day; give a man a fishing pole and he will find an excuse to never work again.
Nollidj is power.
 
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Just to clarify. I invented the game and after some debate we decided that the place name must be in thA-rhyme position - that is on the end of Line 1,2 OR 5.
 
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Quite all right. I am not the least bit dissatisfied with the outcome of this iteration, but apparently a clarification is warranted.
 
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Picture of Stanley
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Yeah, it's as well to be sure: I know I've put the place name in other lines too, so I'll make sure I put it in line one now on.

Well done to Bob, anyway, and I look forward to the next one as I've been a bit busy just recently and didn't get a chance to do the last two.


------------------------
If your rhubarb is forwards, bend it backwards.
 
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Look again at my post above. It can be in ANY of the three A-rhyme positions, i.e. in line 1 OR Line 2 OR Line 5 but NOT lines 3 or 4.
 
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