My New Year's Resolutions
Are easy to report
They're on a list of Things To Do
That's really very short

Recently the list has shrunk
It's down now to just one
1) To convert my list of Things To Do
To my list of Things I've Done

. .. ... ..... ........ © 2003 Jerry Thomas

~~~ jerry

Clever. I like short pithy clever poems and I can't think of anything to do improve this one.

Is anybody else out there listening though ? Surely it can't be just the two of us.

Come on people, we've seen your limericks and double dactyls, let's see some of your other work, If yo want to post without fear of comment (adverse or otherwise) just say so and I'm sure we'll all respect your wishes.

Vescere bracis meis.

Read all about my travels around the world here.

My poetic efforts have been mainly restricted to Limericks - although I did many years ago write a poem of regret after a relationship broke up.

However, on re-reading it I have decided it's rather sloppy and it didn't work either - since she went off with somebody else!

So I'll spare you!

Richard English

I haven't written anything for several years. I had several poems on one of my old computers but lost them in a hard disk crash.

I dug this one out of a dusty old file. Many years old, but applies quite well to this particular winter.


SNOWFLAKES!

From Winter's celestial canyons
In whispering multitudes came
A crystalline host fit to brighten
Our dismal terrestrial frame.
Then they drifted a country-wide sculpture
To put Venus de Milo to shame,
Their congregational splendor
Eclipsing their singular fame,
And they buried me car just like last time,
And they're pissin' me off just the same!

.

[This message was edited by TrossL on Thu Jun 5th, 2003 at 7:40.]

So, Revenant, can we assume that you have a one-track mind?

Please don't take it as being put off. It's just that death is intrinsically a difficult matter to talk about, particularly among a group rather than one-to-one. I admire your courage; for you to post that here was more courageous than I could be.

Well Rev, here's the deal...

Your poem definitely struck home with me since many years ago a friend of mine died under circumstances similar to those you described. I had known him while I was in the military and, to be perfectly honest, after I received orders and was re-assigned, we didn't keep in touch. We were friends, yes, but no letters, no phone calls. That's the way it tends to be in the military.

Years later I heard that he had drowned. I cried then as I did again when I read your piece and, as I type these words thinking of him, once more my eyes are glassy. He was a good person and I should have posted something regarding how your very well-written poem touched me before this. It was cowardice on my part and for that I apologize.

As far as being preoccupied with death is concerned, what is that poem that goes something like "I could not wait for death so he kindly waited for me." Emily Dickinson, maybe? I don't know. I'm sure it's easily googlable. Anywho, I also have been preoccupied with death, at different times of my life and for different reasons, but each time it seems something would happen to snap me out of it.

Pardon the use of psychobabble but, if it is right for you to be in the space you are right now, fine. If not, here's hoping that it won't take something like the premature death of a way-too-young-to-die friend to supply that needed boost to release you from that preoccupation. Keep writing, though. And keep posting. I'm sure we'd all appreciate seeing more of your stuff, possibly on other topics, possibly not.


(Phew!! That was way too heavy! Anyone got any good death puns or mortician jokes? Some triple dactyls, maybe??)

Anyone got any good death puns or mortician jokes?

Bargain Day at the mortuary ====> Dead Give-away






~~~~ jerry

Anyone got any good death puns or mortician jokes?
------------------------------------
Isn't that oxymoronic? Are you seeking such tasteless drivel as, business is in a hole? People are dying for a visit to the mortician? Bush wants to kill Saddam's sons, but he also wants to Bag Dad.

QUOTE- "Anyone got any good death puns or mortician jokes?"

A grieving widow goes into the funeral parlor to view her husbands body the day before the funeral, and begins to weep. "My husband wanted to be buried in a blue suit" she said, but since the funeral was so close, she knew she couldn't fufill his wish.
The next day when she saw him again at the service, she was overjoyed to see him there looking handsome in a nice new blue suit.
"Oh Thank you!" she exclaimed to the funeral director "You've made me so happy!"
"It was nothing at all" He replied, "Right after you left another woman came in told me she wanted her husband buried in a grey suit, so it was just a matter of switching the heads!"

One more comes to mind-

The son-in-law of a recently deceased evil ol'spinster answers the phone and it's the funeral parlor. "I'm so sorry to trouble you at this time of grief, but we are confused as to what manner we were to handle the body. Was she to be cremated or buried?"
The son-in-law, reflecting on her life and her treatment of him, says "Let's not take any chances, DO BOTH!"

A Chad Mitchell Trio song (totally tasteless, but wonderful) began thus:

(Spoken)
Funeral Directors of America, I am very deeply honored standing here;
Receiving this token of your esteem, "The Funeral Director of the
Year."
Now I've been asked by all the delegates--and members of the board,
To tell you of the funeral that won me this award.
It was handled with taste and dignity, that much I can say for it;
And I'm sure it will take the family ...
twenty years to pay for it!