Here’s the selection of out of this world limericks.

1.
On returning from Alpha Centauri,
They related a terrible story
About fighting with knives
As they fled for their lives
To come home to be covered with glory.

It was only an innocent fiction
But they told it with elegant diction
And no one was heard
To declare “How absurd!”
It was published without contradiction.

2.
You'll seldom see Alpha Centauri
From Jersey's old Maison Gorey.
But a starlet from Herts
And I traded flirts,
Now it itches, and man, am I sorry!

3.
The girlfriend of Ralph, a bent Tory,
After eating alfalfa went "whory".
He then fed her a lot as,
It made her as hot as
A native of Alpha Centauri.

4.
When his ship left for Alpha Centauri,
E.T.’s end made a very nice story.
But the craft’s venting gas
Singed poor Elliott’s ass,
And his crotch -- well, that bit's a bit gory.


5.
With a new maid named Robo-Lori
who had new and improved potpourri
with George Jetson she flew
in a spacecraft she blew
George clean, clear to Alpha Centauri

6
Met a girl once from Alpha Centauri
who I told a fantastical story
A huge pole and a hole
with a wet juicy goal,
she swallowed the whole allegory

7.
I once knew a guy who would bore me
With his arrogance, trying to score me.
We'd fly in his plane,
Eat snails and champagne,
And star gaze for Alpha Centauri.

8.
Now, a starman from Alpha Centauri
Fell to earth in an eon most hoary.
He gave every bum
A prehensile thumb
And got rid of the great dinosauri.

9.
Blasted starward toward Apha Centauri,
Maury dreamed of his astronaut glory.
But deep space took its toll
And he hit a black hole --
There’s no glory, no story, no Maury.

Question:
OK folks vote for 1 to 9 (Note #1 has two verses.)

Choices:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9

 

This message has been edited. Last edited by: BobHale,

I see two 3's.

NOTE - there were two number threes.

I have moved on to number 9 and reset the poll.

The single vote needs to be cast again.

Bob.

SORRY SORRY SORRY!

I've reset the poll AGAIN because I inadvertently posted the wrong versions of two limericks - I had received amended versions of both which I have now put in to replace them. They were numbers 5 and 6 but no authors names will be mentioned yet.

Can I beg your indulgence and ask the two voters to vote again.

mea culpa

Gosh, Bob, maybe my confusion is contagious!

8 and 9 running neck and neck at the moment, any more votes?

Some great rhymes!

quote:

Originally posted by Kalleh:
Some great rhymes!

I agree. I was real close to tied with 5 of them. I'm surprised the voting was so clustered around only two. I guess I'm starting to appreciate them a lot more as I learn (and struggle) more about writing them.

Here are the runners and riders.
As has been said some great efforts this time round with a surprisingly close fight centred on just two of them.

Special Kudos to Greg who managed to rhyme the complete phrase and to haberdasher for his Gilbert and Sullivan pastiche.

1.
On returning from Alpha Centauri,.......haberdasher
They related a terrible story
About fighting with knives
As they fled for their lives
To come home to be covered with glory.

It was only an innocent fiction
But they told it with elegant diction
And no one was heard
To declare “How absurd!”
It was published without contradiction.

2.
You'll seldom see Alpha Centauri.......Geoff
From Jersey's old Maison Gorey.
But a starlet from Herts
And I traded flirts,
Now it itches, and man, am I sorry!

3.
The girlfriend of Ralph, a bent Tory,.......Greg
After eating alfalfa went "whory".
He then fed her a lot as,
It made her as hot as
A native of Alpha Centauri.


4.
When his ship left for Alpha Centauri,.......Proof
E.T.’s end made a very nice story.
But the craft’s venting gas
Singed poor Elliott’s ass,
And his crotch -- well, that bit's a bit gory.

5.
With a new maid named Robo-Lori.......Tom
who had new and improved potpourri
with George Jetson she flew
in a spacecraft she blew
George clean, clear to Alpha Centauri

6
Met a girl once from Alpha Centauri.......Tom
who I told a fantastical story
A huge pole and a hole
with a wet juicy goal,
she swallowed the whole allegory


7.
I once knew a guy who would bore me.......Kalleh
With his arrogance, trying to score me.
We'd fly in his plane,
Eat snails and champagne,
And star gaze for Alpha Centauri.


8.
Now, a starman from Alpha Centauri.......bethree5
Fell to earth in an eon most hoary.
He gave every bum
A prehensile thumb
And got rid of the great dinosauri.

9.
Blasted starward toward Apha Centauri,.......Proof
Maury dreamed of his astronaut glory.
But deep space took its toll
And he hit a black hole --
There’s no glory, no story, no Maury.


And the ball bounces back to proof for the next place name.

I'm impressed with how Tom has gotten the form down pat! Good going! While I voted for #9, #4 was my next pick.

I thought number four was pretty good, considering I've never seen the movie.

Yep. I too am impressed with Tom's rapid development in this art.

For his benefit I repeat here my favourite limerick of all-time, written to the best of my knowledge by Anonymous. There are probably a few variations of it floating around but as I recall it, it goes:

The limerick's a form anatomical
And for space it is quite economical,
But the good ones I've seen
Are so seldom clean,
And the clean ones are so seldom comical.

PS: Not all that sure why it works so well either but it seems to scan properly, yet Line 1 has 10 syllables, and lines 4 & 5 have 11?

Okay, and now a word from the peanut gallery;

A few of my thoughts from a more green perspective:
I thought number one was a most excellent story. the only slight thought when voting for it was that it was two-part. Living within the rule confines for the first limerick, then being able to branch out into any a-position rhyme makes it a little easier to get your story or joke out. (I don't know if that's a fair critique or not, just what went through my mind).

No. 2: I liked 2, it fit all the rules....I just liked several others better. Perhaps I liked more when the subject/theme is more integrated into the story (instead of a location from which you can't see the prime target)..It was good, but that kept me from calling it the best.

No.3 Was "perfect" as far as I can tell. It hit all the rhyming and speech patterns (and the "meter" I think I am understanding). I would hold it out as the "perfect limerick" and was one of my ties for winner. It incorporated the little bit of sexual flavor in the theme and the joke that you expect to see in a limerick.

I liked No. 4 even though Proof didn't see the movie. This one was also a "tie" for best, for me.

5. and. 6, thanks Geof and Greg, I was paying a lot of attention to, and rereading Mr. Hales and the whole thread on Meter and Rhyme. I submitted one that wasn't quite up to snuff, and with more thinking and tweaking (and advise) I got something more acceptable. (after relating "rockaway" to the Flintones, I just had to move up to the Jetson's sequel because of the subject-city.) I'm not sure my subtle implications are quite the way I liked them in both. I don't expect actual votes for a while, but I am enjoying the game.

7, Kalleh's. I immediately recognized it as Kalleh's I think. She described it as mediocre which a couple of us teased about. (first I knew it was a woman's) but it was about a "boring" date with no sexual overtone.....which I assume prompted Kalleh's remark. In spite of all that, I liked it. Flying in an aircraft, eating snails and champaign, and looking for Alpha Centauri sounds like a good time to me (but then I don't get out much).

I absolutely enjoyed no. 8. It had aspects I don't think I ever would have thought of. The prehensile thumb, the dinosauri. It might not have that "dirty" element, but on the other hand you could relate a big bang explosion to sort of a sexual orgasm of the whole world that begat men and women as we know it. Anyway, 8 got my vote. Do the great rulekeepers accept 'dinosauri' as a legitimate rhyme to Centauri. I tend to make it rhyme in the context of the poem (Do you guys subscribe to that infamous 'poetic license' idea?) I would have read it as a hard "i" to pluralize dinosaur, but in the context of the limerick I read it like I would pronounce "ee".

9 was another of my "ties". I liked the triple-rhyme on the last line. And I liked the message or the joke.

Anyway, I talk too much sometimes. And I know overanalizing a piece of art kind of cheapens it for me. But my appreation level has risen so much in the last couple of weeks. I am open to hear anything I missed, or where my critique might have been unfair.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Tom,

Five's meter is a bit lumpy but six was right on.

With a NEW maid [who's] NAMED Robo-LORi
who HAD new and IMproved potPOURi
with George JETson she FLEW
in a SPACEcraft she BLEW
George CLEAN, clear to ALpha CenTAURi.

I'll be choosing a suitable site shortly.

L1 is missing a beat (which "who's" would fix).
L2 has a beat on IM but the word is stressed normally on "proved", so that throws it off a bit. Also, each line should begin with a cap unless there is some other determining factor, like an enjambed word.

Thanks again for so much help.

Proof, I don't understand yet. we're putting two syllables before NEW in the first line but only one in front of the stressed syllable in L2 and L5..?

would this better meet the da-da-Dum, Rythm?

With new MAID aptly NAMED Robo-LORi
And her NEW and imPROVED great potPOURi
With George JETson she FLEW
In a SPACEcraft she BLEW
Georgie CLEAN, clear to ALpha CenTAURi

I gave George an endearing "ie" at the end of his name in the last line to add a syllable.

Tom, as with all things, it's best to work within the traditional rules until you are sure of them and then you can bend them a bit. In his example proof has used the fact that the A-rhymes end in an unstressed syllable to allow him to use only one on lines 2 and 5. When recited it then flows between lines and sounds like two syllables.

This is a perfectly legitimate technique but I could have ended listing fifty different forms if I'd tried to include everything in Lmericks 101.

Thank you Bob and Proofreader.

quote:

With a NEW maid [who's] NAMED Robo-LORi
who HAD new and IMproved potPOURi
with JETson she FLEW
in a SPACEcraft she BLEW
Georgie CLEAN, clear to ALpha CenTAURi.

I've made slight changes to the one I edited to show what you could have done, as Bob said. In L3, with the unstressed ending of L2 you could delet "George"
and in L5, to pick up a beat at the beginning, make "George" into "Georgie". Makes it a bit smoother.

quote:

I immediately recognized it as Kalleh's I think.

Yes, I've noticed that mine are all sounding the same. I'll have to change that!

In response to the "lumpy meter" comment, I found them all rather lumpy. Normally I go from top to bottom and read them, picking one on my first go-round. Not this time. I went down again, this time looking for a "forgiveness" for the "lumpy meter," like maybe a great rhyme or some repeat rhymes or other cleverness. I still had trouble. So I went down the group again, this time trying some new ideas for stresses...and then #9 worked for me.

Tom, I loved your comments! We used to do that and then I think we've gotten a little lazy. It takes a little work to make some thoughtful comments on each. I sure appreciated your efforts.

Hey Proof,

Just in case you'd forgotten, you were the winner and are therefore entrusted with the responsibility of starting a new game.

I didn't forget. I just don't care.

Not really. Just couldn't think of one worthy until I heard we are sending missile batteries to

GUAM.

So, can you start a new thread, please Proof, with your word?