1.
There once was a lady from Cork
Who favored a daily nude walk
This brief constitution
Was judged prostitution
Cuz male bidders followed en bloc.

2.
There once was an old man from Cork
A glutton, yet thin as a stork
He gorged scoops and scoops
But just his fave soups
And sadly used only a fork

3.
There once was a fellow from Cork,
Who really was kind of a dork.
But we got into bed
With legs all a-spread
And now we're awaiting the stork.

4.
A flower girl living in Cork
Let out a cacophonous squawk
When she came home one day
But her man had run away
With a social-climbing heiress from New York!

5.
There was a young laddie from Cork
Who ate his green peas with a fork
And the girls mostly said
“Don’t know what’s in his head!”
So of course they all called him a dork.

6.
Lord Randall, now living in Cork.
Built a catapult brimming with torque
‘Cause he thinks that much mass'l
Protect his new castle
Designed by that Howard O'Roark.

7.
There was a young lady from Cork
Who had so enchanting a walk
That whenever she went out
The vibes that she sent out
Made all the men stop, turn, and gawk

8.
A woebegone woman of Cork
Once married a surly old dork
When she got a black eye
A knife fixed him for aye
Cut'is pork hammer off at the fork

9.
There once was a codger of Cork
Who eschewed chewing food from a fork
With a knife and a spoon
Did this crazy old loon
Let his gob gobble porridge and pork

Answers as comments please (can't be bothered to set up the poll)

And here is the awful pun one I promised... not part of the game

Said a fellow I once met in Cork
“I have a peculiar walk,
With one foot on the ground
I just spin round and round”
So he told me, but he was all torque.

Two and nine follow a similar path, which I thought interesting.

I assume #6 alludes to Ayn Rand's novel, "The Fountainhead." If so, well done! Based on that assumption I'll go with it, followed by #2, with honorable mention to #3.

Yes. So do 3, 5, and 8. And 1 and 7, for that matter.

#7 would roll off the tongue better if the last line read “...Had all the men turning to gawk.”

And yes, Bob, the pun is indeed atrocious. But far be it from me to twist your words.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: haberdasher,

This is a tough one.

I think I‘ll go with #9.

quote:

Originally posted by haberdasher:

And yes, Bob, the pun is indeed atrocious. But far be it from me to twist your words.

<blushes modestly> One tries. One tries.

I'll choose #6. The English/east coast pronunciations don't roll off my tongue well enough.

Yes, but just imagine the sound of Rex Harrison as Henry Higgins. I listened to the record of My Fair Lady enough to engrave it indelibly in my ear...

quote:

Originally posted by Kalleh:
I'll choose #6. The English/east coast pronunciations don't roll off my tongue well enough.

It's interesting isn't it. Without hearing you I can't imagine any way those words don't rhyme.

We have two votes for 6 and one for 9. Anyone else?

Yes, I love #3!!
The Fountainhead character was Howard Roark not O'Roark (at least as far as wiki knows-- proud to say I never read that piece of trash!)

This is true, but it wouldn’t fit Limerick-rhythm any more than the book was written by Lord Randall. In spite of which several of us seem to have identified it as an allusion.

I assumed poetic license with "O'Roark."

I guess that it's yours, Hab. Am I right?

Guilty as charged, m’lord.

I’m surprised no one has yet protested the appropriation of the My Fair Lady rhythm (and lyrics) in #4.

OYG, you're right! (OYG because I don't have one, so I'll have to invoke yours)

I thought it sounded rather musical. Another of yours, I assume?

It's hard to keep up with you polymaths! I can't even keep up with those snotty Armenian-American sisters, much less you

I always seem to pick Hab's. I loved mass'l and castle.

So, Robert. Who's up next?

Hab's clearly won, but who wrote what else?
Hab picked my #9, and I also wrote the atrocious #8.

bethree5
There once was a lady from Cork
Who favored a daily nude walk
This brief constitution
Was judged prostitution
Cuz male bidders followed en bloc.

There once was an old man from Cork
A glutton, yet thin as a stork
He gorged scoops and scoops
But just his fave soups
And sadly used only a fork

Kalleh
There once was a fellow from Cork,
Who really was kind of a dork.
But we got into bed
With legs all a-spread
And now we're awaiting the stork.

haberdasher
A flower girl living in Cork
Let out a cacophonous squawk
When she came home one day
But her man had run away
With a social-climbing heiress from New York!

There was a young laddie from Cork
Who ate his green peas with a fork
And the girls mostly said
“Don’t know what’s in his head!”
So of course they all called him a dork.

Lord Randall, now living in Cork.
Built a catapult brimming with torque
‘Cause he thinks that much mass'l
Protect his new castle
Designed by that Howard O'Roark.

There was a young lady from Cork
Who had so enchanting a walk
That whenever she went out
The vibes that she sent out
Made all the men stop, turn, and gawk

Geoff
A woebegone woman of Cork
Once married a surly old dork
When she got a black eye
A knife fixed him for aye
Cut'is pork hammer off at the fork

There once was a codger of Cork
Who eschewed chewing food from a fork
With a knife and a spoon
Did this crazy old loon
Let his gob gobble porridge and pork

Thank you, Bethree! I finally got a vote.

Good for you, Kalleh! Hab and I traded votes. He picked my alliterative last one.

Where shall we go now, Hab?

Let’s try ERIE. City, lake, whichever you like. Not Eerie, not aerie, not airy, just Erie.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: haberdasher,