Actually, whle that is the name of a lake in Massachusetts (called Lake Webster, by locals) it is NOT the name I chose. Just thought I'd give you something to think about, and/or force you to at least open this thread and join in the fun (that, for the newbies).

Instead, I suggest this month we visit Calais (kal-AY).

Just to let you know that, although the French pronounce the name Cal-AY, the British (well, those in my part of the world, anyway) pronounce it CAL-ay.

And, since it used to be a British possession, I see no reason why we shouldn't

I want a pronunciation guide for Chargog...etc.

*salutes*
Officer Soup reporting for newbie duty.

I just want to see whether I've understood the rules.

We're to write a limerick featuring the place name, Calais. We send it to Proofreader via private message who then posts a poll in which we vote. In the event of a tie, Proofreader has a casting vote. The winner then sets the next round of the contest.

Is that correct? Is there anything else I should know?

Also, does everyone share Geoff S's (Geoff S'?) view that limericks have to be blue? And, does it count against you if you write with a British accent?

As long as the rhyme suits your regional pronunciation, it's fine with me. Just make certain all the thymes are consistent.

AS has the rules down OK. I am a bit up in the air as to whether the name has to be in an A-line exclusively or can be in the B-line, but we can hash that out some other day.

As Richard mentioned on OEDILF, the winners here almost always require some erotic sentiments (at least in his opinion). That however shouldn't preclude the entry of a "normal" limerick.

The place-name must be in the A-rhyming position, so it must be at the end of lines, 1, 2, or 5. Using it in the middle of a line, or in lines 4 or 5 (the B-rhymes), doesn't count.

There's nothing to say that the limerick must be blue, but it should be funny. Since most of the funniest jokes are dirty ones, it follows that most of the funniest limericks are off-colour.

quote:

There's nothing to say that the limerick must be blue, but it should be funny. Since most of the funniest jokes are dirty ones, it follows that most of the funniest limericks are off-colour.

A fact which distresses me no end since most of my best ones are not curainable. Now I'm waiting for the lightning to strike me for lying.

No, the limericks here need not be blue.
And their blue hue is thus up to you.
So just write one quixotic
Not faintly erotic
And eschew shit and whore and screw.

Bet this one won't make the next volume by BobHale.

Edited several times for typos.

Ok then I might try my luck.
Your advice has given me pluck.
So you won't think me prudish,
I'll attempt to be rudish,
But couldn't say cunt, cock or fuck.

quote:

Originally posted by Proofreader:
No, the limericks here need not be blue.
And their blue hue is thus up to you.
So just write one quixotic
Not faintly erotic
And eschew shit and whore and screw.

Bet this one won't make the next volume by BobHale.

Edited several times for typos.

I assume you've not yet read Bob's book...

quote:

Originally posted by BobHale:
I want a pronunciation guide for Chargog...etc.

Proof's already told us - it rhymes with "Webster".

quote:

I assume you've not yet read Bob's book...

Of course I've read it. How do you think I determined mine were the best?

"Webster" is indeed the way to avoid conflict due to mispronouncing the name.

quote:

Originally posted by Proofreader:

quote:

I assume you've not yet read Bob's book...

Of course I've read it. How do you think I determined mine were the best?

"Webster" is indeed the way to avoid conflict due to mispronouncing the name.

Then you will surely realise that, if your limerick does not make the next edition, it will be for reasons other than its scurrility,

quote:

Using it in the middle of a line, or in lines 4 or 5 (the B-rhymes), doesn't count.

Been there, done that...and lost when I did.

When I vote, and remember we all vote so the standards vary according to the voter (but rules are followed), I look for humor; I don't care either way about dark; I do like good meter and funny or rare rhymes; and I like it to be about the town/city or whatever the place is. I've noticed, though, that many don't seem to care about the latter.

quote:

Proof's already told us - it rhymes with "Webster".

Actually, it rhymes with "Webster Lake". Off the top of my head I can't think of much that rhymes with that either, apart perhaps from "(Justin) Timberlake", and the thought of writing a limerick about him doesn't appeal.

quote:

Originally posted by Kalleh:

quote:

Using it in the middle of a line, or in lines 4 or 5 (the B-rhymes), doesn't count.

Been there, done that...and lost when I did.

When I vote, and remember we all vote so the standards vary according to the voter (but rules are followed), I look for humor; I don't care either way about dark; I do like good meter and funny or rare rhymes; and I like it to be about the town/city or whatever the place is. I've noticed, though, that many don't seem to care about the latter.

I noticed that you lost out last time because your rhyme was clean. That's what made me ask about it. Are you ever tempted to play to the crowd and dirty things up a bit?

Yes, I have dirtied it up a bit. But, remember, there are mostly men in this thread (of course, we've never decided if you are a man or a woman ), and I think they like a little more dirt than most women. I am just myself, and if my limericks don't win so be it.

I think it's worth repeating that old limerick about limericks:

The limerick packs jokes anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean -
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

Well, then you must not like many on OEDILF, as most aren't dirty. Heck, I (and others) wrote one about Auschwitz. One can hardly even be funny, or dirty, with that one.

I think being funny and playful with words definitely works. I've also seen some dirty ones that stink. Some authors have the mistaken belief that the words "fuck" or "cunt," or whatever, are funny in themselves, and of course they aren't. It's the story or situation that's funny.

You remind me of a cartoon in Playboy many years ago depicting some school boys at an ever-so-snooty boarding school scrawling, "fornicate" on the bathroom walls.

Well, here is one of my favorite limericks:

Nymphomanical Jill
Used a dynamite stick as a thrill.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina,
And bits of her tits in Brazil.

Then I remember the chat where Shu, arnie, Bob and I were chatting, and Shu posted 3 companion limericks about a vicar and slicker and thicker, and, well, you get it. I was laughing hysterically, but I think we grossed out poor arnie and Bob.

So...I can get dirty with the rest of you.

quote:

I think being funny and playful with words definitely works. I've also seen some dirty ones that stink. Some authors have the mistaken belief that the words "fuck" or "cunt," or whatever, are funny in themselves, and of course they aren't. It's the story or situation that's funny.

This is how I feel also. The limericks which I find most amusing are the ones which are clever or surprising linguistically or simply describe a funny scenario. (Not that I suppose I could actually write a limerick answering this description, but never mind...)

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Alphabet Soup,

Incidentally, the cybernanny here must be off.
It;s happily allowing this thread through uncensored.

quote:

You remind me of a cartoon in Playboy many years ago depicting some school boys at an ever-so-snooty boarding school scrawling, "fornicate" on the bathroom walls.

Or the classic by Jack Davis showing the kid leaving the room with a smile as his downtrodden mother washes dishes and his father sits in the living room reading the racing form, cigar in his mouth and wifebeatere stretched over his immense belly: "Where the hell did he learn that kind of language?" (to paraphrase)

quote:

Originally posted by BobHale:
Incidentally, the cybernanny here must be off.
It;s happily allowing this thread through uncensored.

The word "feck" was mentioned in the "frickin'" thread. Well, the cybernanny on another forum where I post is so overzealous, it not only disallows the word "feck" but also the word "feckless" (which I find completely mystifying.)

Do you usually have a swear filter in operation here then?

quote:

Do you usually have a swear filter in operation here then?

Yes, but you can't find the feckin' switch.

Hi Alphabet - welcome to the game. It's Greg S by the way (not Geoff). For the record I like a good clean limerick too, and have actually won one or two games in this comp with clean ones. It's just that the clean ones in order to win generally need to be significantly better to garner enough votes to win.

The limerick about limericks quoted by Richard above is just about my favourite limerick of all time. For the record Richard I remember the first 2 lines slightly differently and also with "are so seldom" rather than "so seldom are" in Lines 4 & 5 but no matter.

Just as a matter of interest Alphabet, which of the limericks in the last game would you have voted for?

quote:

Well, the cybernanny on another forum where I post

Hmmm, maybe that's where I've seen you before.

quote:

The limerick about limericks quoted by Richard above is just about my favourite limerick of all time. For the record Richard I remember the first 2 lines slightly differently and also with "are so seldom" rather than "so seldom are" in Lines 4 & 5 but no matter.

When we first started here, we were all into limericks big time. Indeed, an offshoot of Wordcraft developed the very popular OEDILF site. Anyway, we didn't just submit limericks for a game. We limericked (and double dactyled) like crazy, and I enjoyed reading some of the famous ones. There are so many. And...often, like Greg and Richard, people remembered them just a little bit differently.

quote:

Originally posted by Proofreader:

quote:

Do you usually have a swear filter in operation here then?

Yes, but you can't find the feckin' switch.

Gosh, I'm surprised about that. I wouldn't have thought that a site about words would purposely limit its own vocabulary.

quote:

Originally posted by Greg S:
...It's Greg S by the way (not Geoff)...Just as a matter of interest Alphabet, which of the limericks in the last game would you have voted for?

Argh! So sorry, I must have been confused with Geoff who is called Geoff. Many many apologies.

I voted for number 2, the tribute to the ladies.

quote:

Originally posted by Kalleh:

quote:

Well, the cybernanny on another forum where I post

Hmmm, maybe that's where I've seen you before.

When we first started here, we were all into limericks big time. Indeed, an offshoot of Wordcraft developed the very popular OEDILF site. Anyway, we didn't just submit limericks for a game. We limericked (and double dactyled) like crazy, and I enjoyed reading some of the famous ones. There are so many. And...often, like Greg and Richard, people remembered them just a little bit differently.

I'd be surprised if you've seen me on the overzealous forum, it's absolutely vast (and British.) But I do make an enormous nuisance of myself over on Lenny's Alice in Wonderland Site; do you ever visit there? Someone over there (who I assume was Bob Hale) recommended Worcraft, which is how I found you.

And you're the mad geniuses behind OEDLIF eh? How impressive! I've admired that site from afar, but lack the faith in my limerick writing abilities to have gone so far as to offer a contribution.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Alphabet Soup,

Very likely. I do have an ID on Lenny's site though I rarely look at it nowadays - for the record I posted occasionally there as tweedledammed (it wouldn't let me have tweedledamned for some reason )

quote:

quote:
Originally posted by Proofreader:

quote:
Do you usually have a swear filter in operation here then?

Yes, but you can't find the feckin' switch.


Gosh, I'm surprised about that. I wouldn't have thought that a site about words would purposely limit its own vocabulary.

I should have added a happy face after my comment since it isn't true.

Don't know how many you've got yet Proof, but I am working on one that just isn't quite coming together, but give me a bit of warning before you're about to post the poll and I'll put it in even if I'm not that happy with it.

quote:

And you're the mad geniuses behind OEDLIF eh?

It started with an ongoing discussion about our rewriting the OED, and at the same time, we were posting limericks like mad. So it was a natural progression. CJ took the lead in it, and for awhile it was kept here. However, we didn't have the wonderful software that Virge developed over there, so it was tedious and time-consuming here. Also, our workshopping was much more informal. I remember my job was to keep track of all the words we had limericked. I kept them in a Word document. It's so much more streamlined now!

quote:

I'd be surprised if you've seen me on the overzealous forum, it's absolutely vast (and British.)

I thought your name sounded familiar and even looked back on Wordcraft to see if you've been here before. Were you ever on Wordsmith? It's not British nor vast, so that might not be the place. That's where I was before a few of us bolted and developed Wordcraft.

Yes, Bob is an Alice lover, that's for sure. Thanks, Bob, for recommending us!

I have three so far. I'll wait a while for more entries.

quote:

Originally posted by Greg S:
I'll put it in even if I'm not that happy with it.

Sounds like what the gigolo said to his ugly old client.

quote:

Originally posted by BobHale:
Very likely. I do have an ID on Lenny's site though I rarely look at it nowadays - for the record I posted occasionally there as tweedledammed (it wouldn't let me have tweedledamned for some reason )

Well that's just rubbish. How rotten of Lenny's to staunch your creative flow.

I read your posts and I'm sorry we missed each other there, I'm sure we would have had lots to talk about.

quote:

Originally posted by Proofreader:

I should have added a happy face after my comment since it isn't true.

It wouldn't have helped - I'd just have assumed you were joking about the switch.

*looks sheepish*

quote:

I thought your name sounded familiar and even looked back on Wordcraft to see if you've been here before. Were you ever on Wordsmith?

Nope. Never posted there, nor here neither.

quote:

Yes, Bob is an Alice lover, that's for sure. Thanks, Bob, for recommending us!

In fainress to Bob, it's not really his fault. He was actually trying to recruit youngsters for the Junior Edition of Wordcraft - I just slipped in while nobody was looking.

Well, we are glad for the slip. We'd also enjoy a little discussion about Alice or Lewis Carroll.

Right. Ok. So. My first attempt at writing a limerick has been catastrophic, so I thought I'd better let you know that I won't be entering into this round.

Somehow I ended up writing my limerick in French. Now, I don't actually speak French so, as you might imagine, it's all gone a bit poire shaped.

I will reproduce my bungled attempt here (so you can all point and laugh.)

Dit un danseur frustré à Calais,
« Désolé, mais je besoin d'aller.
Nulle part à la danse,
Je n'ai aucune chance,
Pour baiser un corps de ballet. »

Merci beaucoup et bon nuit!

A mon avis, c'est bon!

I haven't been able to write one.

I'll be posting the lims tomorrow to give Kalleh a chance to finish her bluffing game, so if you have an entry, get it to me posthaste.

I finally got one in! I rather like it, too.

I am ready to select my favorite!

quote:

Originally posted by Geoff:
A mon avis, c'est bon!

Thanks very much

Congrats Kalleh on making a submission, you're a better man than I am

I'm also ready to vote and keen to see what rhymes folk came up with.

Allez, allez!

Sorry for the delay. I've been under the weather and also having some screwy computer problems so I am a bit behind. I'll try to post the game shortly, perhaps after the bluffing game ends.

Aw, sorry to hear that Proofreader. Hope you get on top of the weather soon

Well, Alphabet, actually I am a hermaphrodite, so no one knows for sure.