A.
A smart-arse I met once in Spencer
Was proudly a member of MENSA,
But I say pooh-hoo
To his MENSA IQ -
His life skills could hardly be denser!

written by Greg
preferred by Kalleh and Satta
_________________________
B.
I met a cute fellow from Spencer,
Who couldn't have been any denser -
Blockheaded, obtuse,
His language so loose
That most of his sex talk I'd censor.

written by Kalleh
runner-upped by Geoff
_________________________
C.
Female quarterback playing for Spencer
Had developed a Blind-Side-Rush sensor
And thusly equipped
Such good passes she flipped
'Twas a difficult thing to defense her.

written by Hab
selected by noone. I'm losing my touch!
_________________________
D.
There was an old lady from Spencer
A movie critic and censor
She loved “Gone with the Wind,”
Until the end.
When Rhett said “damn,” it incensed her.

written by Tinman
_________________________
E.
“I heard monks make the beer here in Spencer”.
“Please don’t shout! My head throbs and seems denser.
I will go to their store
After Mass, that’s for sure
But buy jam, beer be damned, I must censor.”

written by Sattva

_________________________
F.
There was a young man from Spencer
He loved the charming Miss Menser.
He wanted to bed her,
But not to wed her.
Somehow he couldn’t convince her.

written by Tinman
_________________________
G.
A pharmacist living in Spenser
Said, my job is a tough one and hence, sir
Because of the stress
My whole life is a mess
And I’m a much tenser dispenser.

written by BobHale
runner-upped by Geoff and Kalleh and Hab
_________________________
H.
A silly old codger's in Spencer
(Look as you will, there's no denser)
The goofy galoot
Struck a match, passed a TOOT!
Fried a glute and a lateral tensor

written by geoff
preferred by Hab
_________________________
I.
The sinister spinster from Spencer
Was a brutal and deadly fencer.
She said to her foe,
“Let’s give it a go.”
Then she calmly started to mince her.

written by Tinman
_________________________
J.
The monks at the abbey in Spencer,
Think twice, before you do censor.
You’ll not get their wine,
Or beer that’s so fine.
Just jam, is all you’ll get hence, sir!

written by Sattva (along with E), who I gather was impressed by the presence of the Spencer Abbey there. The Trappist monks have been making jams and preserves for years, and are just starting to brew their own beer (which I believe has been a product of other Trappist facilities in Belgium for a long time)

But, alas, no otes.
_________________________
K.
An evil old priest up in Spenser
Loves swinging a really big censer
It belches thick smoke;
The congregants choke
It's like purgatory but denser

written by Geoff
preferred by arnie and by BobHale
_________________________
L.
I once met a lady in Spencer
And hopefully this won't incense 'er -
She was really quite smart,
But when she played the tart
You'd swear that no-one could be denser.

written by Greg
preferred by Geoff
__________________________

Well, there you have it, Sports Fans. I'll wrap it up in a separate post shortly.

Oh, and the "censer" is what, and also who, spreads incense around the church, swinging it around at the end of a chain and wafting scent (and smoke) to the four corners and the heights. If you find your eyes burning, that's probably the source.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: haberdasher,

Aagh! Posted in the wrong thread! But here it is again. (And immensely relieved not to have lost it entirely - that's what I get for trying to have the same page open twice side by side...)

Summarizing: A and K have two votes each, and G has three Runner-ups, if my arithmetic is correct. I'll cast a tiebreaker vote for A because of the technical component: the scansion is more perfect. (Though I acknowledge a certain charm in the short line in D, less so in F, almost an endearing Ogden Nash-y quality...

I was a touch surprised at the difficulty finding rhymes for Spencer. There's a relative paucity:
censor |||| / sensor |
denser ||||
Menser/MENSA/mincer |||
hence, sir ||
fencer/defense 'er ||
tensor
dispenser
incensed 'er
convince 'er
that I hadn't anticipated at first hearing. Live and learn.

So. A is Greg's brainchild - can you choose our next destination? Unless you think we should wait a little while?

See here.