Sorry for the delay. Rupert Murdoch hacked my computer (I think) and all I could do for several days was try to clear a malware attack. Fortunately, "system restore" works very well in this instance.

Question:
One

On their way to the races in Calais
To Wooster said Jeeves, his fine valet,
”If I might suggest, sir
That you don’t wear that vest, sir -
We’re watching a race, not a ballet”.


Two
Shufitz met Kalleh in Calais
Out to the city they’d sallais,
To see all the sights,
Both pleasures and frights,
Then schtupped her right after the ballais.

Three

I once took a trip to Calais,
Where a jeune fille jolie and gai,
with a sweet cassolette*
Oh, so warm, oh, so wet,
Did me for five francs a day.

*French slang for vulva odor, in case you were curious

Four

Besotted by babes in the Ballet,
A lonely old codger from Calais
Would go every night
In the hope that he might
Lure one to shack up in his chalet.

Five

On a cul-de-sac outside of Calais
Poor Pete rests his feet by a Palais,
But the guards aren’t impressed
By his dirty string vest,
And, with mouths full of cake, they scream ‘Allez!’

Six

A pretentious young hoor from Calais
Doing biz from an ersatz chalet
Would sigh coolly, when pressed
To enfin get undressed:
’Un moment— je cherche mon valet’


Seven

I once met a girl from Calais,
(That’s Vermont, and not France’s chalet.)
She was hot and so sexy,
And nimble and flexy,
I took her to bed sans delay!

Eight

A coquettish young creature from Calais
Once employed me as butler and valet.
She tore off my tux
For an orgy of fux.
Oh! My God, could that Calaisian gal lay!

Choices:
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight

 

Just to bring to everyone's attention......

It looks like the winner is #2, right Proof? For the record, it wasn't mine. It was funny, though!

I'd better check on Proof. He had been under the weather earlier. Who had limerick number 2? You are the winner!

I realised after I had posted it that I should maybe have added a note about Jeeves and Wooster. Although P G Wodehouse is one of the finest writers England has produced, and his characters Jeeves and Wooster amongst the most memorable, I believe that Wodehouse is better known in the USA as a playright and lyricist.

Wikipedia has a good biography here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P._G._Wodehouse

Murphy's Law has struck.

As I mentioned earlier, I was under the weather and had some malware attack on my computer. One consequence (which I just learned today) is the file with the lim entries was corrupted and cannot be read. However, I did have the posts still on this site so I went back to reconstruct the contest.

There's where Murphy did his level best to ruin me. I have found every entry now, except for number two (and three), which is the winner.

Here are the entries I do have
#1 Richard English
#2 & 3 The winner sent both
#4 Greg S
#5 Mike
#6 Bethree5
#7 Kalleh
#8 Proof

So will the real, still anonymous, winner please stand up and accept responsibility.

How exciting! Shall we start a sweepstake? My money's on it being Bob Hale.

Which one is Alphabet Soup's?

My money's on them being Bob's, too. Bob, are you still around? He may not be able to access the site now. If he doesn't answer in a couple of days, Alphabet, why don't you take a stab at it?

It probably was Bob's. I don't understand why all the entries were still around but his (if it was him) had disappeared.

Maybe he deleted the PM? That has happened in the Bluffing Game before. He is finishing his time in England, I think, and beginning to move to China. I'd suggest someone else take the next limerick game. We'll still call Bob the Big Winner, though! A $1,000,000 check is in the mail!

quote:

Maybe he deleted the PM?

Most likely. Anyone else have a place name?

Well, you could hand it over to whichever of limericks 4 and 8 you liked best Proof, since they tied for 2nd. Oops!! 8 was yours, and 4 was mine, so its hardly fair to put that on you, maybe go with Kalleh's suggestion and let Alphabet Soup do it.

I considered mine out of the running, no matter how it did, so it looks like you're the goat this time, Greg. Unless, as you say, AS wants to get involved.

I don't know, I've never made a poll before, I might mess it up.

I did think though, that in honour of Bob's (apparent) win, maybe China could be the setting for the next round.

What do you think?

The reason it disappeared is because the extremely computer-unsavvy author accidentally deleted his PMs. Bob is way smarter than to do something like that!

I wrote numbers 2 and 3. I even asked Kalleh for permission to write one about her and Shufitz. I guess she forgot.

Did you really? Eee, you little tinker!

Indeed. I was hoping to see one from you!

quote:

The reason it disappeared is because the extremely computer-unsavvy author accidentally deleted his PMs.

Should have known it was Mr. Hammerfingers.

quote:

Originally posted by Geoff:
Indeed. I was hoping to see one from you!

You did. You commented on it. It was catastrophiques, vous vous souvenez?

quote:

I wrote numbers 2 and 3. I even asked Kalleh for permission to write one about her and Shufitz. I guess she forgot.

Oh, yes, now I remember! Good job. You are up then, Geoff!

Just remember, folks, if you play the Bluffing Game or the Limerick Game, you can't delete your PM submissions until after the person who started the game posts the winners. When the person who starts a PM deletes it, it is deleted from his box and from the box of the person he PM'd.

Eh, "Soupey," allez-y! Go ahead and pick a city in China and we'll see what we can do with it!

And Kalleh, thanks for the lesson! I'll NEVER understand computers!

Does it have to be a city? I thought perhaps we could just have "China". Maybe the rest of think that that would make the rhyming too easy, but I thought that having a very easy rhyme might lead to a greater variety of responses. (Although the temptation to rhyme with the word "vagina" might prove terribly irresistable for some...)

Otherwise I nominate Ningbo, Hohot or Chengdu. (You choose )

There once was a girl from Ningbo,
A ho hot and spicy was she
She worked in Chengdu,
In Beijing at Xiu,*
And she gave the whole lot V.D!

* http://xiubeijing.com/

quote:

There once was a girl from Ningbo,
A ho hot and spicy was she

Does that REALLY rhyme for you?

No, but we can workshop it until it does. And whaddaya want for thirty seconds of work!?!?!?

Anyhow, Ms. Soup, pick your city, or we can indeed use the whole country!

quote:

Does that REALLY rhyme for you?

It rhymes for me...it's that Chicago dialect, you know. (How many times have I heard that on OEDILF?)

Can we have "China" please?

We have never had countries, always cities or towns, but if you really want that rhyme I'm sure someone will come up with a town that has it. The obvious one of Carolina is no good either because that's a State.

I have a sneaky suspicion you reckon you've got a winner based on that rhyme.

quote:

I have a sneaky suspicion you reckon you've got a winner based on that rhyme.

Regards Greg

Ooh you cynic! I thought people might think I had some killer rhyme up my sleeve, but sadly, I haven't. (I only wish that I had.)

But if countries is against the rules then, by all means, let's have a town. It's not my call anyway, I didn't win. (I didn't even manage to enter.)

I only suggested China because I thought we were lacking a location for the next round and that it might be a fitting tribute to Bob Hale's journey.

I didn't mean to rock the boat, it's just that now I've dibbed my oar in, it seems to have got caught on something and I am struggling to withdraw it. (Seriously, why doesn't this place have a blushing smilie?)

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Alphabet Soup,

I have an idea: How about the town of China Lake, California? Since I deleted any proof of my having written the winner, I'll not make the decision, but it's my suggestion that we do as Alphabet Soup says and honour Bob, whilst keeping Greg happy too! Anyhow, someone needs to start a new thread with whatever city or town is in play.

China Lake sounds good to me

Good! Before anyone objects, start a new limerick thread!