1<BR>Still keen to thrill his Jill from Rhyl,<BR>Phil found his "Bill" would no more fill.<BR>When the dildo daddled<BR>Old Phil was addled -<BR>A bitter Pill gave Jill her thrill.<BR><BR>2<BR>In Wales I had quite a thrill<BR>In a seaside resort town called Rhyl.<BR>I met a great guy<BR>We had sex on the fly<BR>And then he was off to Brazil. <BR><BR>3<BR>Night fishermen picking in Rhyl <BR>Go starkers and harvest a thrill,<BR>Baring mussels and cockles<BR>And causing debacles<BR>As local gals screech loud and shrill. <BR><BR>4<BR>The food fish way up in Welsh Rhyl <BR>Isn’t tuna nor naught with a gill<BR>They call it a cockle<BR>It tastes like pig’s knockle<BR>It’s killer when fried on the grill. <BR><BR>5<BR>A seamstress a-sewing in Rhyl <BR>Was stiffed on presenting her bill.<BR>"Though my fingers ooze pain,<BR>All my work was in vain.<BR>That's the last time I sew Kalleh's twill."<BR><BR>6<BR>There was a young man from Rhyl, <BR>Who swallowed an explosive pill.<BR>His bollocks went clang,<BR>His goolies went bang,<BR>And his dick shot over a hill!<BR><BR>7<BR>On a journey to beautiful Rhyl <BR>My toothache became very shrill.<BR>I went to a dentist<BR>(I hope no apprentice!)<BR>Who said, "Drill and we'll drill and then fill!" <BR><BR>8<BR>Went up to the beaches of Rhyl <BR>With my thrill of the month, Joanie Jill.<BR>She got into the pockles<BR>Where I keeps my cockles<BR>And I am still paying the bill. <BR><BR>9<BR>Bill and Jill ran a still up in Rhyl. <BR>Near the mill, empty bottles they'd fill.<BR>This booze some though was great;<BR>Others viewed it with hate<BR>And complained that it tasted like swill.<BR><BR>10<BR>I must live in our old house in Rhyl, <BR>The decrepit estate on the hill.<BR>You can laugh. It's not funny.<BR>If I leave, I lose money.<BR>It's stated quite plain in Dad's will.Which is your choice.12345678910

Wow, those are really great. This selection is going to be hard! Love the one about Kalleh!

Someone has to vote and break the tie.

It's always so interesting. I wrote two and much preferred one over the other. Yet the one I liked least got a vote. It's also interesting how sometimes one will be a slam dunk, though other times (like now) the votes are all over the place.

Here are the authors

1 Greg
Still keen to thrill his Jill from Rhyl,
Phil found his "Bill" would no more fill.
When the dildo daddled
Old Phil was addled -
A bitter Pill gave Jill her thrill.

2 Kslleh
In Wales I had quite a thrill
In a seaside resort town called Rhyl.
I met a great guy
We had sex on the fly
And then he was off to Brazil.

3 bethree5
Night fishermen picking in Rhyl
Go starkers and harvest a thrill,
Baring mussels and cockles
And causing debacles
As local gals screech loud and shrill.

4 bethree5
The food fish way up in Welsh Rhyl
Isn’t tuna nor naught with a gill
They call it a cockle
It tastes like pig’s knockle
It’s killer when fried on the grill.

5 proofreader
A seamstress a-sewing in Rhyl
Was stiffed on presenting her bill.
"Though my fingers ooze pain,
All my work was in vain.
That's the last time I sew Kalleh's twill."

6 arnie
There was a young man from Rhyl,
Who swallowed an explosive pill.
His bollocks went clang,
His goolies went bang,
And his dick shot over a hill!

7 Kalleh
On a journey to beautiful Rhyl
My toothache became very shrill.
I went to a dentist
(I hope no apprentice!)
Who said, "Drill and we'll drill and then fill!"

8 bethree5
Went up to the beaches of Rhyl
With my thrill of the month, Joanie Jill.
She got into the pockles
Where I keeps my cockles
And I am still paying the bill.

9 proofreader
Bill and Jill ran a still up in Rhyl.
Near the mill, empty bottles they'd fill.
This booze some though was great;
Others viewed it with hate
And complained that it tasted like swill.

10 proofreader
I must live in our old house in Rhyl,
The decrepit estate on the hill.
You can laugh. It's not funny.
If I leave, I lose money.
It's stated quite plain in Dad's will.

And the winner is number 3 penned by bethree5, which, had it come down to it, would also have got my deciding vote.

Congratulations, Bethree! The baton is yours.

My typo in L3 of number 9 9thought) was fatal.

I voted for #10.

I had to vote for Proof's Kalleh limerick.

As a very irregular contributor, I was pleasantly surprised that mine (6) got a vote.

As a very regular contributor, I was disappointed that mine (1) didn't get a vote.

quote:

As a very regular contributor, I was disappointed that mine (1) didn't get a vote.

If at first you don't succeed, cheat.

quote:

If at first you don't succeed, cheat.

Hmm - now how could I have done that I wonder? Ah yes of course a secret late vote for my own when the contest is already over, would have done it I guess. But I'd probably end up feeling even worse, so no point really. Just have to come up with a better limerick next time.

Last year my computer crashed but I had saved all my files on another drive. When I bought the next money-eater, I tried to load my old Pagemaker program (which is what my files need to run) only to learn that Adobe decided not to support the program. So Windows 8 rejected it and there seemingly was no way to salvage the old files except to buy the next version at a ridiculous price. Yesterday I learned that there is a windows text editor that brings the text to life but with extensive editing.

I managed to save all my old limericks and the most obvious feature from five years ago is just how bad they were. I'm thinking of publishing them in a book as bad examples of how to write limericks.

quote:

Originally posted by arnie:
As a very irregular contributor, I was pleasantly surprised that mine (6) got a vote.

And I'd vote for it again. The last line is hiLARious.

Will post a new location as soon as I think of one

arnie, I almost voted for yours.

Greg, I loved your rhymes and so wanted to make the meter work. I read it a number of times, even aloud, but I just couldn't make it work.

quote:

And his dick shot out over a hill!

It needed the "out" or some other word to make the meter work.

quote:

.....I'm thinking of publishing them in a book as bad examples of how to write limericks.

Hey, I think I already studied that book....and before it was written, no less.

quote:

Hey, I think I already studied that book....and before it was written, no less.

Those that can't do, teach. Those that can do write limericks.

I think I can do - and I teach, too.