"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
February 24, 2009, 04:50
Richard English
Well, I can't agree that is especially easy. I can find very few rhymes for Sweden. But my first attempt will soon be with you.
Richard English
February 24, 2009, 16:04
<Proofreader>
Two on the way
February 25, 2009, 10:47
Kalleh
Well, Proof, glad to see you entering this time. I missed yours for Rome!
Mine is in, Bob.
February 26, 2009, 10:59
<Proofreader>
I was too ill to enter a poem In the limerick game entitled "Rome." Once a king told his jesters (My erstwhile ancestors) "No longer make Sweden your home."
So my father set out on the sea On a voyage to "Land of the Free." And he spent his last kroner To ease off his boner And the sad, sad result: that was me.
February 27, 2009, 20:42
Kalleh
Excuses, excuses, dear Proof, Pardon me if I'm cool and aloof. Too sick to write lims? With your rhyming whims? Oh balderdash! You're such a goof!
February 28, 2009, 06:26
bethree5
mine's in (apologies in advance)
February 28, 2009, 16:23
<Proofreader>
Once a Swede, Mr. Alfred Nobel, Found a way to blow things all to hell. But his dynamite ‘s boom Filled poor Alfred with gloom Since he foresaw the masses' death knell.
Then he said, “All this fighting should cease. So I’ll offer a prize based on peace.” Each year, off went his prize To nonviolent guys But, still, death and destruction increase.
March 01, 2009, 09:56
<Proofreader>
Jeb Raltar in Sweden met pal, Moe In a whore house in downtown Malmo His friend Moe was impalin' A busty Australian When Moe petered out, Jeb gave the gal mo.
March 01, 2009, 10:57
<Proofreader>
In the summer, the Swedes sail fjords And in winter, ski on their snow-bjoards But for action year-round Lusty Swedes have all found Fun galore are the blonde Swedish brjoads.
March 01, 2009, 12:09
<Proofreader>
Lusty god Thor once gave a young miss Many moments of sexual bliss. When she hollered for more He responded, “I’m Thor!” “Hell, you’re thor? I’m tho thore I can’t pith.”
Based on an ancient Swedish joke.This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,
March 02, 2009, 12:47
BobHale
So, Sweden. This is what we have. No entry from me as I’ve been busy with inspections all week.
First up a bunch from jerry.
A serf serving sardines in Sweden Says he's not Christian nor Heathen. In performing this task He wears a gas mask But religion does not affect breathin'
Swenska is spoken in Sweden. But not in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve Just could not conceive Of using that language while breedin'.
Since Norway is next door to Sweden, There could be some cross-over breedin'. If the young Swedes and Norse Set the right compass course They'll discover what they've been needin'.
Richard's came labelled as number one, but no number two was forthcoming.
If you're seeking some Garden of Eden Then don't bother searching in Sweden. Though the country's quite roomy The natives are gloomy And the beer tastes as though it's been pee'd in.
Then we have a brace from proofreader.
My ancestors found they'd be needen More freedom than they had in Sweden. They all left for the States, Trusted life to the Fates, Finding joy in licentious inbreeden.
Those oversexed blond girls in Sweden Are well-known for their casual breeden. And it isn't by chance That they're sans underpants Since it speeds up attempts to put seed in.
One from Kalleh
There once was a nighttime comedian So lewd and licentious he'd feed on The whole population With Sexual elation. Of course our young Romeo's from Sweden!
and finally one from bethree5
A drag-racer who hailed from Sweden Relieved himself while he was speedin'. Later, ("Tea, Björn, then?") His Mum got a turn when She opened the tea-tin he'd peed in!
And the winner?
I'd say it has to be proofreader for his second contribution.
"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
March 02, 2009, 19:31
<Proofreader>
Dreamed my father a-sailing from Stockholm That his son should some day write a nice poem One that men's minds would sway Or enliven some day But I'll kill him if he write a limerick.
Thanks to BobHale for appreciating the glory that is Sweden. I'll find some place equally picturesque for all to vilify shortly.
March 03, 2009, 19:25
Kalleh
Nice rhymes, Proof!
March 06, 2009, 18:54
<Proofreader>
Prepare your passports for stamping in beautiful THAILAND. Send me your limericks and I'll start a new thread tomorrow.
A gardener in Malmo, in Sweden Tilled and hoed rows of earth to place seed in. But he wasted his time Trying our Thailand rhyme, Thus neglecting his pruning and weedin'.