A nice easy one, a whole week to do it.

Answers in PMs please.

Well, I can't agree that is especially easy. I can find very few rhymes for Sweden. But my first attempt will soon be with you.

Two on the way

Well, Proof, glad to see you entering this time. I missed yours for Rome!

Mine is in, Bob.

I was too ill to enter a poem
In the limerick game entitled "Rome."
Once a king told his jesters
(My erstwhile ancestors)
"No longer make Sweden your home."

So my father set out on the sea
On a voyage to "Land of the Free."
And he spent his last kroner
To ease off his boner
And the sad, sad result: that was me.

Excuses, excuses, dear Proof,
Pardon me if I'm cool and aloof.
Too sick to write lims?
With your rhyming whims?
Oh balderdash! You're such a goof!

mine's in (apologies in advance)

Once a Swede, Mr. Alfred Nobel,
Found a way to blow things all to hell.
But his dynamite ‘s boom
Filled poor Alfred with gloom
Since he foresaw the masses' death knell.

Then he said, “All this fighting should cease.
So I’ll offer a prize based on peace.”
Each year, off went his prize
To nonviolent guys
But, still, death and destruction increase.

Jeb Raltar in Sweden met pal, Moe
In a whore house in downtown Malmo
His friend Moe was impalin'
A busty Australian
When Moe petered out, Jeb gave the gal mo.

In the summer, the Swedes sail fjords
And in winter, ski on their snow-bjoards
But for action year-round
Lusty Swedes have all found
Fun galore are the blonde Swedish brjoads.

Lusty god Thor once gave a young miss
Many moments of sexual bliss.
When she hollered for more
He responded, “I’m Thor!”
“Hell, you’re thor? I’m tho thore I can’t pith.”

Based on an ancient Swedish joke.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,

So, Sweden.
This is what we have. No entry from me as I’ve been busy with inspections all week.

First up a bunch from jerry.

A serf serving sardines in Sweden
Says he's not Christian nor Heathen.
In performing this task
He wears a gas mask
But religion does not affect breathin'

Swenska is spoken in Sweden.
But not in the Garden of Eden.
Adam and Eve
Just could not conceive
Of using that language while breedin'.

Since Norway is next door to Sweden,
There could be some cross-over breedin'.
If the young Swedes and Norse
Set the right compass course
They'll discover what they've been needin'.

Richard's came labelled as number one, but no number two was forthcoming.

If you're seeking some Garden of Eden
Then don't bother searching in Sweden.
Though the country's quite roomy
The natives are gloomy
And the beer tastes as though it's been pee'd in.

Then we have a brace from proofreader.

My ancestors found they'd be needen
More freedom than they had in Sweden.
They all left for the States,
Trusted life to the Fates,
Finding joy in licentious inbreeden.

Those oversexed blond girls in Sweden
Are well-known for their casual breeden.
And it isn't by chance
That they're sans underpants
Since it speeds up attempts to put seed in.

One from Kalleh

There once was a nighttime comedian
So lewd and licentious he'd feed on
The whole population
With Sexual elation.
Of course our young Romeo's from Sweden!

and finally one from bethree5

A drag-racer who hailed from Sweden
Relieved himself while he was speedin'.
Later, ("Tea, Björn, then?")
His Mum got a turn when
She opened the tea-tin he'd peed in!


And the winner?

I'd say it has to be proofreader for his second contribution.

Dreamed my father a-sailing from Stockholm
That his son should some day write a nice poem
One that men's minds would sway
Or enliven some day
But I'll kill him if he write a limerick.

Thanks to BobHale for appreciating the glory that is Sweden. I'll find some place equally picturesque for all to vilify shortly.

Nice rhymes, Proof!

Prepare your passports for stamping in beautiful THAILAND. Send me your limericks and I'll start a new thread tomorrow.

A gardener in Malmo, in Sweden
Tilled and hoed rows of earth to place seed in.
But he wasted his time
Trying our Thailand rhyme,
Thus neglecting his pruning and weedin'.