Here is the poll for the China Lake limericks. I've never made a poll before so if it goes horribly wrong, you have my permission to boo and hiss and throw things at me. Ok?

Ok. Fingers crossed, let's go.

1.

The wife of a sumo in China Lake
Declared, "No position supine I'll take!
I would need a lobotomy
To let you on top of me.
I'm crushed, bruised and suffer vaginal ache."

2.

An angler on Cracked China Lake
Pulled in his nets and thus spake,
"This place is a mockery,
It's knee deep in crockery.
I've just caught a pottery hake."

3.

There was a young woman form China Lake
Whose breasts were large but completely fake
They stood proud and perky
When she jogged they were jerky
And caused passing cars to suddenly brake

4.

An MIT seismologist named O’Drake
Sowed youthful oats while ‘measuring’ ‘China Lake’
“Yaduah, she’d dribble borax
“Down the crease ah’ that lahge thorax
“’N yah graph was shuah tah registah ‘Minah Quake’”

5.

There is an old codger in China Lake
Who never had children, for goodness sake!
The sun fried his balls
Through his thin overalls,
So he has a quite useless trouser snake.

6.

China Lake is not a spot
For making love - it's to damned hot!
And windy and sandy,
So when she feels randy,
She'll suffer hot sand in her twat.

7.

Whilst a rowboat will never a liner make
It will do for the water in China Lake!
For to boatsmens' despair
There is no water there -
They'll just have to look out for a finer lake.

8.

I can’t find a good job here in China Lake.
At MacDonald’s, I get just a minor take-
Home pay for my work.
Says my boss (who’s a jerk):
“There’s a bonus. Just make your vagina shake.

9.

I once knew a meany in China Lake
Who scrutinized books and called mine a fake.
Yeah...one's a bit smaller;
The other is taller.
But the work on my nose? That was my mistake!

10.

At a urinal in China Lake,
As I finished and gave mine a shake
I saw his by chance
And boy what a lance -
As fearsome as an Aus. Tiger Snake.

Note: The Tiger Snake, one of the world's most deadly of snakes and found only in Australia (as are a disproportionately high number of them), is so named for its Tiger-like ribbing.

Question:
Which is your favourite?

Choices:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

 

Well that's bizarre.

I was slightly disappointed that nobody chose to rhyme with the term "urinal cake" (but, you know, I'm dealing with it.) But just now I inadvertantly googled "At a urinal in China Lake," and conjured up this:

http://www.navair.navy.mil/tec....view.aB&doc=paper.5

Spooky...(And ever so slightly unpleasant.)

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Alphabet Soup,

This one was a tough one to rhyme! Several are funny, but their meter (metre for most of the world, I suppose) is off; others aren't so funny, but possess good form. Ohhh, what to do!

I've made a choice, but I'm not too thrilled with it!

BTW, perfect job with the poll, A.S! (And too bad about the urinal cake. I wonder if they work on preventing kidney stones?)

Phew! Thanks Geoff

Now, am I supposed to vote, or do I wait 'til the end or what?

Greg's the expert here, although he didn't originate this game. I think you get to vote in case of ties - right, Greg?

Sorry to say, number six does not fit the rules. The place has to come at the end of the line, not the beginning. Otherwise a fine attempt.

Alphabet, loved that link. You are right...spooky!

Greg's one of the experts here. You are right, though, Geoff. The person who posts the place is the tiebreaker. Sometimes they vote, though, and then choose the tiebreaker. Other times they don't vote at all. I think Greg is one of the no-voters until it's a tie.

Proof, yes, 6 doesn't have the China Lake in lines 1,2 or 5. However, many here, let's face it, don't follow the limerick rules. That's why I love it here. We can have fun and don't have to worry about workshopping limericks to death.

BTW, I was a fool and sent mine in with a critical typo. When the game is over, you'll have more of a clue about that limerick. On the other hand, you likely wouldn't have voted for it anyway. Line 5 stinks.

quote:

Proof, yes, 6 doesn't have the China Lake in lines 1,2 or 5. However, many here, let's face it, don't follow the limerick rules.

But that is one of the most basic rules, one which increases the game's difficulty. So those who tried to fit a difficult place name into a reasonable rhyme are being penalized for following the rules.

There was once a man named Dick
Who won many a contest to write a limerick
Following the advice of a friend
He never placed a town's name at the end
And somehow still managed to be prolific

quote:

But that is one of the most basic rules,

I understand. I'm just saying...

I agree with Proof. We shouldn't really accept that limerick. How about awarding it an "Honorable mention"?

I propose that we let the voters decide.

Like that fella in 'Strictly Ballroom' says, "You can dance any steps you like, but that doesn't mean you'll win."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J32WXZZDNPo

I agree, Alphabet. Think about it this way, look at some of the "art" out there that art prescriptivists would say is not following the rules.

Now I wish I hadn't already voted...I'd have voted for it just to be a rule naysayer.

If you aren't required to rhyme the subject, what's the point in naming one?

If someone had made a submission that clearly wasn't a limerick; a haiku for example or a knock knock joke, I'd still have posted it on the grounds that it's up to the voters to decide whether it adheres to the rules and guidelines well enough to make it worth voting for.

So, for this round anyway, I'll leave it up to democracy and place it in the hands of the people to determine whether limerick 6 deserves to receive any votes.

Burn the blighter! Oh, this isn't a witchcraft trial - sorry! In truth, it isn't a proper limerick, so I'm with Proofreader - disallow it. But then, I very seldom involve myself in this game, so who am I to say!

I'm not going to disallow it. But if the person who wrote it would like to withdraw it, they have only to say so and I will gladly oblige.

As I have said here and more than once on our daughter site - OEDILF.com - I think it is important to have rules and to follow them - unless there is a very good reason not to. So all OEDILF limericks are supposed to define a given word - but a few have been allowed to slide through simply because they are so good even though their definition is maybe weak.

Deliberate rule-breaking for the purposes of cleverness is an old and honourable device in all kinds of composition, not just limericks - but it is important that the composer knows the rules well enough to be able to break them with intent.

I am not expressing an opinion on the work here subject to mention - that will be, as has been suggested already, a matter for the voters to decide.

Folks,

I'd like to propose the following:

1. We all agree that submission 6 did not follow the rules of the game.
2.Submission 6 was still fun and enjoyable to read.
3.Submission 6 is not going to win, since no one voted for it (so arguing about disqualifying it is a moot point--or as many people erroneously write, a 'mute' point).
4.Next time we have a special category for submissions that do not follow the rules of the competition.
5.We move on to the next competition.

Can't wait to compose the next limerick!

Hi All,

I'm a bit late coming to this thread because I turn on email notifications and expect that someone will post a comment in the old thread to say when the Poll has been posted. Eventually when there is no such comment in the old thread I pop over and have a look and discover the thread has been going for some time.

The problem here was that a new member posted an invalid limerick to a thread being processed by another new member, both of them unsure of the rules. I think we should forgive them their teething problems, and I hope none of the preceding dialogue discourages either of them from participating in future games because the more contributors and voters we can get the more fun the game will be.

For the record in the earlier days of this game, the proposer also determined the winner and was required to write a short commentary on the limericks explaining the reasons. This commentary which I often found quite useful in helping me to write better limericks kind of disappeared when the voting system was introduced. I suggested that even though the winner was determined by vote there was no reason why the proposer couldn't still write a brief commentary, and for a while this happened, but it seems most people don't have the time or inclination to do so these days.

Gradually after we had a few of them, we decided that in the event of a tie, the proposer would have a casting vote, whether or not they had already voted. As a consequence when I propose a game I generally delay my vote until just prior to declaring a Poll, but there isn't any written or assumed rule that you should do likewise.

I am not sure about elsewhere in the world but in Australia we pronounce it "yu-rinn'l" not "yu-rine'l" so it wouldn't occur to me to rhyme urinal cake with China Lake, because to me it doesn't rhyme. But that's OK, if you go back and have a look at the Tunisia game you will find that there were at least 4 different ways the various contributors pronounced that place name.

Having now read Bob's book, I realise I have to stand corrected on another point, because it seems there were games in the early days, where some of the place names for the game have included both Countries and States. For those of you who've been with the game a long time, was there a decision at some point that Countries and/or States ought not to be used?

By the way for the benefit of those 2 newcomers to the game, the reason it makes no sense for the place name not to form one of the rhymes in a limerick, is that potentially the same limerick (eg No 6) could be entered in every game simply by changing the place name.

The reason why it has to be one of the Line 1,2 or 5 rhymes (rather than one of the Line 3/4 rhymes) is that anyone can find at least one rhyme, but the real challenge is to find two rhymes and make it gel into a good and hopefully humorous limerick, without any of the rhymes appearing to be there just for the sake of the rhyme.

For that reason, it is also beyond my comprehension how Edward Lear became famous as a limericist, and I can't understand why anyone would buy a book of his limericks, because he invariably repeated the place name in lines 1 and 5, thereby saving himself the trouble of finding a 2nd rhyme.

quote:

someone will post a comment in the old thread to say when the Poll has been posted

Dammit. I didn't know, sorry.

quote:

a new member posted an invalid limerick to a thread being processed by another new member

errrrr....You remember in the last Bluffing Game thread, when everyone was winking at each other and accusing one other of presuming things? Well...

quote:

I am not sure about elsewhere in the world but in Australia we pronounce it "yu-rinn'l" not "yu-rine'l"

hmmm, I thought that someone pronounced it ur-I-nal, somewhere in the States, I imagined, but I wasn't convinced that they also knew of those enchanting objects as "cakes" so, as I mentioned, I was able to manage my disappointment.

quote:

there were games in the early days, where some of the place names for the game have included both Countries and States.

I knew we should have had China

quote:

potentially the same limerick (eg No 6) could be entered in every game simply by changing the place name.

Aha! Good point. (Someone should do that. It would be very funny - for a while.) I'm not disputing the rule(s), it's just nobody told me that there is an onus on the host to reject limericks which do not conform - I was working on the assumption that the judges (ie the voters) would, could (and should?) be the people to judge the submissions.

quote:

it is also beyond my comprehension how Edward Lear became famous as a limericist

Damn straight!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Alphabet Soup,

quote:

Originally posted by Metic:
Folks,

I'd like to propose the following:

1. We all agree that submission 6 did not follow the rules of the game.
2.Submission 6 was still fun and enjoyable to read.
3.Submission 6 is not going to win, since no one voted for it (so arguing about disqualifying it is a moot point--or as many people erroneously write, a 'mute' point).
4.Next time we have a special category for submissions that do not follow the rules of the competition.
5.We move on to the next competition.

Can't wait to compose the next limerick!

I was waiting until we had the same number of votes as contributors. Now that those numbers are equal* I declare this round over and limerick 7 as the winner.

I finally voted in the poll and cast my ballot to break the tie.

I thought all three in the tie break followed the form (and the rules ) very well, but one and seven had the edge over five, because they rhymed with all three syllables. I chose sevem over one because, to my reading, the rhythm of line two in limerick one is ever so slightly out, whereas the rhythm in limerick seven is perfect throughout. And, as a bonus, limerick seven is actually about China Lake.

So the winner of the (much disputed) China Lake round is Richard English. Congratulations!

Who wrote which?

1. shufitz
2. Alphabet Soup
3. Metic
4. bethtree5
5. Geoff
6. Geoff (yes, Geoff)
7. Richard English
8. Proofreader
9. Kalleh
10. Greg S

All in all, I think we can say that that went fairly horribly wrong, so you may now all commence booing and chucking stuff at me.


*Wait a minute, no they aren't. We had nine contributors and eight votes. Oh well, too late now. (*throws stuff at self*)

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Alphabet Soup,

Great job with the contest, Alphabet Soup. I really enjoyed this.

I get the idea now about rhyming the syllables.

In my limerick I had 'China lake', 'completely fake' and 'suddenly brake.'

Perhaps 'China Lake', 'kinda fake' and 'hit the brake' would have sounded more euphonic.

quote:

Great job with the contest, Alphabet Soup. I really enjoyed this.

Thank you Metic, it's very kind of you to say so.

Did you notice that you were invited to host the next round of the Bluffing Game? I hope you consider doing so, I can't recommend hosting a game thread enough. (ahem)

(Only joking, it was fun really.)

Well thank you. I have to say I was pleased with my submission and the muse visited when I was trying to work out why liners would not be appropriate in a lake. Then I checked and found that China Lake is completely innocent of water and the whol;e thing came together.

Those who have seen my limericks over the years will know that I am a stickler for proper scansion - even when this might preclude a nice L5 joke.

Today I exhibited my Rolls-Royce at the Bluebell Line's vintage gathering - http://www.bluebell-railway.com/ I reckoned that Bluebell Line would be too hard to rhyme so I'll post a new limerick using the name of the station at which the vintage vehicle gathering occurs - Horsted Keynes. Keynes is pronounced "keens" not "canes".

quote:

I once knew a meany in China Lake
Who scrutinized books and called mine a fake.
Yeah...one's a bit smaller;
The other is taller.
But the work on my nose? That was my mistake!

So now for the real limerick:

I once knew a meany in China Lake
Who scrutinized boobs and called mine a fake.
Yeah...one's a bit smaller;
The other is taller.
But the work on my nose? That was my mistake!

The typo was mine and not Alphabet's. Now at least it makes a little sense, though line 5 isn't much good, I agree.

quote:

once knew a meany in China Lake
Who scrutinized boobs and called mine a fake.
Yeah...one's a bit smaller;
The other is taller.

Seems my doc was a drunk. That was my mistake!

I voted for Shufitz's one, but Alphabet you used excellent judgement and logic in choosing the winner - well done. You handled it like an old pro. Hopefully we'll see a limerick from you in the next game.

I did post one in this game. Mine was number two.

quote:

...like an old pro.

Thanks. (I think. )

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Alphabet Soup,

quote:

I did post one in this game.

Yeah - I'm blind as a bat. Excellent, that means you're already gone hook, line and sinker. It would be nice if we could somehow attract a few more addicts.

Hooked? Me? Nah, I can give 'em up any time I want, mate.
*trembles*

I voted for Shu's too, even though he's my husband. While I liked Richard's, the "finer" and "liner" rhyming with "China" didn't work for me.

Yeah, when I suggested in the Calais thread that China is an easy rhyme I'd forgotten that this isn't really the case for folk who use a rhotic R*.

*I probably haven't used that term correctly - I hope you know what I mean.

By the way, having read your comment in the Horsted Keynes thread I'd just like to reassure you that I did attempt to read shufitz's limerick in American (su-PINE vs SU-pine) but it stll didn't quite work for me. It's the gap between "declared" and "no", which seems to be the source of the problem. In order to force the rhythm to work, I have to read it as "DeclaredNo" as opposed to "Declared, "No..."

One and seven were very close though, and it really wasn't an easy decision.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Alphabet Soup,

Hello this is number 9 reporting from Cape Cod...

Have to say I would have voted for Shufitz' because it was the only one that gave me a belly laugh.. the punchline overrode my tsk tsk for using a sumo wrestler (Japanese) in the context of China Lake..

As to my poor quirky thing, written in honor of my cousin the seismologist from MIT (currently vacationing in the next cottage).. and his Korean (almost Chinese ;-) wife.. I should have tried to rhyme line 1 for goodness' sake!!

Lots of fun, all, thanks for boosting this into a nice discussion

Good Jeb Raltar, touristing old China Lake,
Looked about but could not even fina lake.
He said, "Strange as it seems
I've found creeks, even streams
But there isn't a very sure signa lake."

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,

quote:

to reassure you that I did attempt to read shufitz's limerick in American (su-PINE vs SU-pine) but it stll didn't quite work for me.

At least in the midwest, we stress the PINE.

In all fairneess Shu's limerick (nor mine) did not have perfect rhymes, either. And I'll give you the Sumo problem, Bethree, as well. However, considering all the elements of a limerick, I had to choose his for the humor. For me, and we all have our own critera, the 3 things I prefer is: humor (content of the limerick), doable meter (I shouldn't have to add or subtract a syllable to make it work), and fun rhymes. Richard's would have been my number 2 pick, though.

quote:

At least in the midwest, we stress the PINE.

As did I - in my Americanized reading, at least.

As to humour, I didn't find either limerick funny, but I was more amused by the whimsical charm of number seven than the broader slapstick (ahem) of number one.

I suspect Shu's was a bit too graphic for some. He can be that way.