We all know about the (in)famous Bulwar-Lytton contest, but did you know there's now a "Lyttle Lytton" contest for brief badness? An example from the site: "Jennifer stood there, quietly ovulating." Another: "Leon fell out of the goat." It's at www.adamcadre.ac/lyttle.html
quote: "Jennifer stood there, quietly ovulating." Another: "Leon fell out of the goat."
Am I the only person who thinks that, in the right context, not only are these both perfectly meaningful sentences but potentially great writing? If a New Yorker fiction article began with "Leon fell out of the goat" I would continue reading at least the next two paragraphs. I've always had problems with the Bulwer-Lytton contest. It seems self-conscious and ultimately a bit mean-spirited; a fun project for a creative writing class, or grist for a throwaway magazine column, but not something that has to be run year after year. I'd find it much more amusing if they picked the worst paragraphs from that year's best sellers.
I agree, Neveu, that learning that someone had just fallen out of a goat would spur me to read more, but just standing there OVULATING?!?!? This is the epitome of indolence! Come to think of it, falling out of a goat might be the next thing that happens to the woman in Jo's community story in Wordplay!
You want bad writing? I'll give you bad writing: I hold in my hand a copy of "Dark Danger In God's Paradise", by M.L. and A.R. Tureaud, published by Vantage Press, which I think is a vanity press. I have no idea how I have come to own this book. Here is the first paragraph:
quote:Capt. Hakeem Sulam's slender, muscular body moved gracefully as he ascended the gangplank of his ship, the Accion. Standing on the ship, he waved good-bye and smiled down at the senoritas and senoras who had come to wish him bon voyage. His smile revealed the gratification he was experiencing recalling the memorable nights spent with these "noble flowers of Spain." The father of two of his fair passengers, Marthae and Marguerite Fernandez, was vice governor of a city twenty miles from the capital. Senor Fernandez had petitioned the Spanish king, Charles III, for passage of his daughters on the first vessel sailing to the Spanish colonies of the Philppines. Senor Fernandez hoped that his daughters would find adventure and happiness in that far-off land.
This is a pretty awful bit of writing, and there is nothing funny about it. It's just a mess, and kind of sad, and there's no point in picking on it any further except to use it as a example of the banality of badness. I guess that's the problem I have with Bulwer-Lytton: funny writing isn't bad, and bad writing is rarely funny. Making fun of Harold Bloom, now that is funny.
The difference is that the Bulwer-Lytton contest is for actual examples of bad writing that readers have discovered. This other contest is for people to submit their own imaginary text for a novel.
Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
quote:Originally posted by arnie: The difference is that the Bulwer-Lytton contest is for _actual_ examples of bad writing that readers have discovered. This other contest is for people to submit their own _imaginary_ text for a novel.
If we're talking about this contest, it's for imaginary text.
Come to think of it, falling out of a goat might be the next thing that happens to the woman in Jo's community story in Wordplay!
