Please vote for your favorite

Question:
1.
I know an old woman from Trinidad
Whose hygiene is awfully, really bad.
Her smell attracts bugs
From ceilings and rugs
From New York to London to Baggydad.

2.
I once met a woman in Trinidad
You'll never believe all the sin I had:
We screwed in the church,
Made our minister lurch
When he saw on my face the big grin I had!

3.
Whilst not a West Indies' tall skinny lad,
Way back, when Lara was in 'e had
The crowds so in awe
At his world record score,
They called him The Prince, then, of Trinidad.

Note: Trinidadian Brian Lara scored the world record Test Cricket innings of 400 runs not out on April 12 2004 against England. He batted for 13 hours to amass those runs.

4.
A ghost pepper dish made in Trinidad
Is flamingly hot, mala calidad!
It burns in your gut,
Shoots fire from your butt,
Then melts off the parts that made youadad.

5.
A miner found gold up in Trinidad,
Lemon-sized nuggets is what he had.
A woman who'd spurned him
Quite suddenly yearned him,
And lo, he's that gold digger's sugar dad!

6.
I was forced to become my own “omni-dad”
When my lover, she left us for Trinidad
She returned a true prick
No; I mean a real dick
And declared that she’s now the new mommy-dad

7.
Tom Thumb had three kids down in Trinidad
When he fretted, they said, "You're a ninny Dad.
You just need to recall
That, though Mom's eight feet tall,
If we're average, it's 'cos of our mini-Dad."

8.
Senior Lopez's real name is Trinidad,
But he goes by “Trini,” aren't you glad?
He once had a daughter,
Near the Mexico border,
And he named that young lady Soledad.

9.
Minnie, a niny from Trinidad
Once fell in love with a skinny lad
Who hooked her on meth;
It led to her death!
Minnie's now gone, and he's really sad.

10.
Said a girl to her father in Trinidad,
Am I becoming too skinny, Dad
My belly button I fear
Has changed since last year:
I've an outy where I had an inny, Dad."

11.
A finicky tart down in Trinidad
Did turn down a peach-fuzzèd-chinny lad
The bitch condescended:
“You’ve one undescended--
I’ll not screw one max and one mini-nad!”

Choices:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11

 

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Tom,

Sorry to be a whinger, but unless Trinidad is pronounced Trin-eye-dad, which I am pretty sure it isn't in anybody's dialect, I don't understand how No. 2 gets a vote. It doesn't rhyme with the place name. There are some who have deliberately chosen to rhyme just the last syllable, but you can't use that argument with No. 2 because it ends lines 4 & 5 with exactly the same word.

There are some good ones though, and you've done amazingly well to get 11 limericks Tom.

well, based on what makes a rhyme (Last stressed syllable rhymes, all subsequent unstressed syllables identical (or, at a pinch rhyming)) almost none of them rhyme - the stressed syllable in Trinidad is TRIN

rhymes would be BINidad CINidad DINidad etc or, just possibly FINimad GINilad etc (though that's debatablle)

Given the difficulty I'd say go for whichever you like.

I experienced the same problems. I think everyone did the best they could given the situation. I'm glad that some submitted even though it was a difficult rhyme. When I try to pronounce it in a Spanish accent, I tend to emphasise the last syllable. But when I typically say the town, I emphasize the first part.

Regardless, I can't take any credit for getting this many entrants. I'll take credit for one only

quote:

well, based on what makes a rhyme (Last stressed syllable rhymes, all subsequent unstressed syllables identical (or, at a pinch rhyming)) almost none of them rhyme - the stressed syllable in Trinidad is TRIN

Limericks 7 and 10 meet the primary criteria for me, and Limericks 3 and 11 meet the "at a pinch" criteria. So I wouldn't call that "almost none" and I am happy that No. 7 is winning at present. I think I'm going to vote for No. 10, or maybe 11.

Your daddy absconded to Trinidad
Near busted, with only a fin he had.
He left me in the lurch
On the steps of the church.
So remember your dad's always been a cad.

As I told Tom, I've been under the weather (suffering the agonies of de-feet -- a joke you'd appreciate if you read my medical). Had no inspiration until I read the offerings today. Excellent efforts with a difficult name. The rhymes, while not perfect in some cases, can't be faulted based on regional differences.

quote:

Sorry to be a whinger, but unless Trinidad is pronounced Trin-eye-dad, which I am pretty sure it isn't in anybody's dialect, I don't understand how No. 2 gets a vote. It doesn't rhyme with the place name. There are some who have deliberately chosen to rhyme just the last syllable, but you can't use that argument with No. 2 because it ends lines 4 & 5 with exactly the same word.

#2 was mine.

1) This is a game.
2) Trinidad and sin I had rhyme well enough for me, though not perfectly, I agree (see #1).
3) None of the others rhyme perfectly for me.
4) Most importantly, don't vote for #2 then.

For the rest of you, nice job. This was a hard one!

Actually I can easily make #2 rhyme, or very close to it, because many people pronounce I as "ah" or even "uh" and then there isn't a problem.
And, incidentally, the vote for it was from me.

Sorry if I offended anyone, especially if I offended you Kalleh. I knew I should have kept my thoughts to myself.

We have 6 votes. There were 5 participants besides me. I didn't vote and thought that I probably shouldn't unless it helps in the end. I see all of the poems and their authors so my vote is more susceptible to prejudice toward my more favorite author(s).

Votes from every participant plus someone (proofreader maybe in this case?) seems to be the norm. I could give it another day or announce the winner now.

Any thoughts?

quote:

Originally posted by Greg S:
Sorry if I offended anyone, especially if I offended you Kalleh. I knew I should have kept my thoughts to myself.

Greg, perhaps Kalleh can handle the criticism, but may have been more receptive if you weren't to make the comment about not understanding how it even gets one vote. That is what might have offended me if it were about my limerick.

I am more an amateur here than anyone else and would appreciate any criticisms at least on mine.

Wait a day. The vote is always open to anyone - participating or not - so you might still get some more.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: BobHale,

#7 is now unassailable, so you may as well declare it the winnah.

Sorry you missed getting your in, Proof!

quote:

Sorry if I offended anyone, especially if I offended you Kalleh. I knew I should have kept my thoughts to myself.

Or maybe I should have kept my thoughts to myself. Sorry about that.

We do like hearing your thoughts, Greg, whether we agree with them or not.

Calling the election before the officials do?
Who do you think you are Fox News?

But Bob, Fox has a highly scientific way to do it: They tally the donor's financial contributions rather than counting votes.

I just cast my vote-- sorry I am slow as molasses this month. Loved reading these. #4 was the only one that cracked me up, so I voted for it.

I don't think I've been able to really perfect this one, but I think it kind of rhymes better. It give a hint as to which one was mine being a theme of sex-change in Trinidad.

That nutcase Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
He received a ticket to Trinidad
He was mean as sin,
To his kids and kin,
But became a real feminini-dad

Bethree, I agree that #4 is really funny - and I didn't even vote for it. I voted with the majority. I was surprised how many good ones there were, considering how hard the word was.

Well, I'll call it.

Geoff needs to be mentioned for providing the first limerick, the most limericks and the second-place limerick. His were limerick #1, the fire-in-your-butt #4, and nos. 5, 8, and 9.

Aren't I great for getting 11 limericks ?

The winner:
Mr. Hale had both the top limerick #7 (not really a huge hit, not a minor hit either, but perhaps just right). and he had #10 with 1 vote.

Of course, Kalleh had the controversial limerick #2 which also got one vote.

Greg S. rhymed both the first and second half of Trinidad so well. But no votes, alas.

Bethree5 had a great limerick but it just didn't have all the "nads" of some of the others (haha). I didn't vote but it was one of my favorites and very likely would have gotten my vote.

Me: I was actually proud of my number 6. I knew "mommy-dad" was more a "near-rhyme" but I thought the humor of it might overcome the slight off-rhyme. I'm still learning here, and one of these days, I swear, I'm going to get a vote.

Congratulations Mr. Hale you get a Tom's thumbs up and can take it away!

(by the way)
5 participants besides me, 7 votes (I didn't vote). That's great that two people who weren't contestants voted!

Geoff, thank you for letting me host the limerick.

Good going, Bob! Mine was one of the votes for yours.

You did a fine job, Tom! I'm glad you were willing to relieve me of the odious job of trying to decipher that arcane poll format!

I knew mine would get no votes. Too many Americans who know as much about cricket as I do about Gridiron Football. But Brian Lara really is a native of Trinidad, and not only did he set the world-record Test Cricket score of 400 not out, but also the highest 1st-Class score of 501 not out (in 1994 playing for Warwickshire in England). That same year he set the then world record Test Score of 375, which he held until later surpassed by Aussie Matthew Hayden in 2003 with a score of 380, but then Lara got the record back with his 400, which still stands as the record today and probably will forever. Also unlike most of the big name West Indies cricketers who are usually 6'4"+ giants, Brian Lara is short of stature at a mere 5'8". And The Prince of Trinidad is one of his nicknames.

Although my limerick wasn't funny or blue I had a lot of fun writing it. Thanks for the town, Tom, it generated a surprisingly high number of good entries.

quote:

I had a lot of fun writing it.

That should be the ultimate goal.

quote:

I knew mine would get no votes. Too many Americans who know as much about cricket as I do about Gridiron Football.

Don't assume too much about Americans. My brother, from Chicago but doing a stint in Saudi Arabia, is a huge cricket fan, and he has gotten me into it as well. My problem with yours was the meter in line 2.

quote:

Although my limerick wasn't funny or blue I had a lot of fun writing it.

Love the attitude! They are fun to write, aren't they? I just emailed CJ at OEDIlF telling him how much we love our limerick game that - by the way - Bob started here. Thanks, Bob!

I enjoyed Greg's more poetic and (intentionally) less humorous limerick. The explanation also helps for me, as I am not that familiar with Cricket. He's had some others like that as well..I think the funny ones will always get more votes than the poetic ones. If lack of votes were a factor, I would have quit a long time ago....

BTW, I loved both Proof's & Tom's later-posted lims.

Proof hope you're feeling better.