Here they are. I've invoked Editorial License and made small changes in some, just to obscure'em.
__________________________

A. Not a sweet young thing from Durham,
She’s a he. His name is Herman.
When he does his shows,
No one really knows,
‘Cause he hits high notes with verve, man.

B. A bloke who was visitin' Durham
Lost 'is kays, 'e day know weer 'e'd purham.
Couldn't find 'em 'n' so
Fuh all tha' ah know
'E's still up theer now searchin' furham.
-- (Translation upon request)

C. There lives a gorilla in Durham
Whose favorite holiday's Purim.
How'd this savvy gorilla
Read all the Megillah?
Meshuga? Just don't try to cure 'im!

D. There once was a woman in Durham
Who said of her men, "I prefer 'em
To be gentle and sweet,
Though with plenty of heat,
Or in bed I'll be forced to transfer 'em!"

E. Neurologists working in Durham
Have discovered a compromised Dura m-
Ater in Jake
Who had a headache
From a virally infected serum

F. You just can't buy a houseboat in Durham
Lloyd's of London declines to insure 'em
'Cause with every boat
You need someplace to float
Even more, you need places to moor 'em!
____________________________

That's the lot. Contributors include BobHale, Geoff, Haberdasher, Kalleh, and Sattva. Make your choices as you will; comments, thought processes, and compliments as always are welcome.

I vote for "D".

I have a bit of a dilemma. For me none apart from my own come even close to rhyming. I've tried and failed to recite them all aloud. I'll have to consider which one is least far from a rhyme or just go for the creativity of the subject matter (which is definitely there) and get back to you.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: BobHale,

B for me. I can see myself voting for most all of them, but one DOES have to make a decision.

Well I suppose if I mispronounce the place name I can make D work so I;ll go D

I like B, but I'm not sure how to pronounce the Durham in B. It sounds to me that it's similar, if not the same, as lines 1, 2, and 5 of F.

Guess we'll find out after voting is completed.

quote:

Originally posted by haberdasher:
I like B, but I'm not sure how to pronounce the Durham in B. It sounds to me that it's similar, if not the same, as lines 1, 2, and 5 of F.

Guess we'll find out after voting is completed.

Where does the Pink Panther live?

Durham, Durham...Durham. Durham, Durham...Durham. Durhaaaaam.

I liked B too, but I've got to go with C. Love the Jewish context.

I am wondering if the brain injury I had last year affected my cognitive abilities even more than I realized after re-reading my limerick. I will explain more later after the last few people vote. Geesh!

I will abstain from voting for the same reason I abstained from entering, not one of the attempted rhymes for Durham, rhymes with the way the Poms and Aussies pronounce it, and there isn't a rhyme for that pronunciation that I can think of, so I am not surprised.

There's one that rhymes for this Pom! I know, coz this pom wrote it.

You mean the one I voted for?

By my reading we have one vote for B, one for C, two for D, and one abstention, plus the editor's tiebreaker if needed (so far, not).

Bob, your pronunciation is more like "doo-ROM," then?

Any more comments from anyone, contributor or otherwise or even lurker?

So, since there isn't many votes yet to be counted and since my limerick is so bad that it won't get any votes, I thought that I would explain, as best as I can, the strange limerick that I wrote. I wrote A. I did it quickly to get it out of the way. In my head, I was hearing the Jamaican voice of Bob Marley reciting it.

What was strange is the last word of "man" in the limerick was pronounced as mun or mon. The ends of lines 1 and 2, were pronounced as um or om. Herman was Hermun or Hermon. I didn't even realize that I had switched the positions of man with the m before the n in line 5.

This seems very strange to me, and I have wondered if it has anything to do with my brain injury from last February. I have noticed other differences since then, but this was new.

Well, if we are OK outing ourselves I can answer Hab's question

DUH- rm
PUH- rm
FUH- rm

It seems you're the winnah, Bob.

quote:

Originally posted by Geoff:
It seems you're the winnah, Bob.

How did you work that out. I thought D won. Mine was B.

Oh. I thought you had two votes. I can't comprehend the polls, and can't comprehend the non-poll method. AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

Hab, how did it all work out? Did Bethree5 submit one? She seems to be scarce lately.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Geoff,

Sorry to be scarce... Thanksgiving> Christmas shopping > 4 concerts in 2 wks> last wk of teaching [on fumes] before break. Free at last!

I vote for D, even tho it doesn't quite match how we pronounce it in the Durham clan. I guess it's a slight variation of the pom version as described by Bob-- we say DUH-r'm [' = schwa].
Couldn't come up w/a lim.

I have been missing in action lately, too, Bethree, because of holidays, work, etc. I hope to be around more in 2019.

D was mine! I do know it wasn't perfect, Bethree. However, unlike Greg, I've come around to these lims just being fun and not necessarily perfect. I am more worried about meter than I am about a "perfect rhyme," which really will never be perfect to all our accents. That's why I used to see so many arguments on OEDILF by the rhyming nazis. It finally got to me, and when Bob started this game it was such a breath of fresh air.

Good going, Kalleh! Now where?

Oh, thanks for the one and only vote for my Jewish gorilla! I also submitted E.

Did Shufitz do one? If not, why not?

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Kalleh:
I have been missing in action lately, too, Bethree, because of holidays, work, etc. I hope to be around more in 2019.

D was mine! I do know it wasn't perfect, Bethree. However, unlike Greg, I've come around to these lims just being fun and not necessarily perfect. I am more worried about meter than I am about a "perfect rhyme," which really will never be perfect to all our accents. That's why I used to see so many arguments on OEDILF by the rhyming nazis. It finally got to me, and when Bob started this game it was such a breath of fresh air.[/QUOTE

I thought yours was really good and you described a man I would want to know better. LOL

A was written sattva
B was by BobHale
C was by Geoff
D was by Kalleh
E was by Geoff
F was by Haberdasher

Kalleh got more votes that anyone else and gets to choose the next port of call. Honorable mention to BobHale, despite (or because of) his apt use of dialect :-)

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/Good Wishes to all! (pick your desired degree of political correctness)

This message has been edited. Last edited by: haberdasher,

Hmmmmm... Was the grinch based on the Hanukkah goblins?

No, Geoff, Shu didn't write one. He kept threatening to, but he didn't. I'll make him do it for mine.