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<Proofreader>
posted
I don't know about plough being evidence of UK origin. The author also mentions grits, which are a southern USA "delicacy," although I can't testify that they aren't so called in the UK. Plough may have just been used to illustrate the ough ending.
 
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I reckon it's British English. In addition to plough there's moustache and clamour as well. Plus, with the exception of Arkansas and Korea, all the place names are British.

So far as "groats/grits is concerned, the term is used in British English where it means a coin worth fourpence and is pronounced as one would expect. But when used to denote a cereal it is pronounced "grits" in UK English and spelt that way in US English.


Richard English
 
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<Proofreader>
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For the next chooser, here is a list of places already played:

Aire’s Cross
Bilston
Cannes
Columbus
Cowfold
Dorking
Dundee
France
Helsinki
Highland Park
Hong Kong
Illinois
Jamaica
Kathmandu
Kehena
Kent
Kirkwall (Orkney)
Miami
Middle Earth
Paris
Partridge Green
Poughkeepsie
Shepton Mallet
Shoreham
Tahiti

Let me know if I missed any.
 
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Geez, I had no idea. I've written a lot of limericks here!

Okay, WM, let's hear who won the academy award. Enough waiting! Stella, start writing your acceptance speech. Wink
 
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My Fellow Wordcrafters,

Your tardy hostess has let the entire week slip by without posting the results. Having just returned from a leisurely dinner and a few brews with her husband, she is in no shape to do a proper job of 1.) posting each and every entry without missing one or more, or 2.) selecting the winner from all of the submissions.

Tomorrow a.m., I promise, I'll make things right. And so, I bid you all a good night!

Wordmatic
 
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And the manifold entries are:

Proofreader
There once was a man from Poughkeepsie
Whose wife was particularly dipsie
She wore underwear
Pulled over her ear
He said, “No, they go on your hips, see?”

If you seek to rhyme on 'Poughkeepsie"
And try not to use the word "gypsy"
You’ll soon turn to drink
And quick as a wink
"Poughkeepsie" will soon make you tipsy

and Proofreader going off the deep end and taking poetic license...
I went to the toilet in Cuba
In a bowl, deluxe, from Aruba
Made from solid gold -
At least I was told -
Oh No! Did I crap in a tuba?

A dominatrix from Poughkeepsie
Liked to beat her men using whips. She
Enjoyed being mean,
She’d do things obsean
But, worst of all, she often skips me.

They served me a drink in Poughkeepsie
That made me incredibly tipsy.
I also felt strong
But not for too long.
I insulted a guy -- cut lip. See?

A weatherman saw that Poughkeepsie
Was lit up with radar rain blips. He
Yelled, “Get you indoors
Because when it pours
‘Twill rain hard enough to float ships. Eee!"



Richard English
In a caravan down in Poughkeepsie
There lived an attractive young gypsy.
When sober and calm
She'll hold any man's palm -
But she'll hold a lot more when she's tipsy!


Jerry Thomas
A boozer here from Poughkeepsie
Was identified as a gypsy.
He said, "Here's the news:
I've drunk all the booze
That's why I'm feeling so tipsy."

We're all writing now of Poughkeepsie.
As if we were out in the deep sea.
Our mentor's allignment
Made her give this assignment.
The dipsomaniac's dipsy.


Kalleh:
There once was a man from Poughkeepsie
Whose alcohol made him quite tipsy.
His eyesight was blurry;
His speech was all slurry:
"Gimme a drink or I'll rips ye!"

There once was a man from Poughkeepsie
Whose dog liked to bark and he'd yip, see;
He'd growl and he'd whine;
On mailmen he'd dine,
While his owner said, "Give me no lip, see?"

There once was a girl from Poughkeepsie
Who while dressing was just a bit tipsy.
She captured one breast
In her bra - not the rest,
And howled, "Get this damn slip past my hips, see?!"


BobHale
There is a young man of Poughkeepsie
Who finds that whenever he sleeps he
Leaves stains in his bed
These emissions, he said
Only come when I’m dreaming of sheepsie.

Says the vicar at church in Poughkeepsie,
Whatever a man sows, he reaps. He
Must confess before God
Though to me it seems odd
To have sins that you say involve sheepsie.

So the man, oh so sad in Poughkeepsie
Goes home feeling tearful and weepsie
Burns his wool sweater
And every love letter
That he’s ever written to sheepsie.

That night in his bed in Poughkeepsie,
Awake till the morning bird cheeps, he
Is bereft and alone
Now he’s left on his own,
And can’t sleep without counting on sheepsie.

and one using the American vowel sound in the rhyme
There was a young man of Poughkeepsie,
Who drank with the tiniest sips. He
Said, "It makes it last longer,
And even the stronger
Beer doesn't get me as tipsy."


Stella
A skipper named Chipper McPhipps, he
Shipped strippers for zip to Poughkeepsie.
He quipped, “They get tips
When they rip off their slips
And do flips from their hips without blips. See?”

Highlights here for me are Proofreader's outrageous "tribute" to a large brass instrument, disqualified for moving out of geographic range; Bob's wonderfully weird sheep cycle; Kalleh's perfect description of me getting dressed, and Richard's meticulously crafted entry. But as predicted by the Oracle of Chicago, it is Stella who wins the prize! It's got everything, including all those fun little internal rhymes!

Go, Stella!

Wordmatic
 
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I love Stella's!

Great word, Wordmatic!
 
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Thanks very much, wordmatic, and also Kalleh for your support! I’m honoured to be chosen from such an array of great limericks. Beginner’s luck, maybe. Smile

It was a great word you chose, wordmatic, and I feel a bit nervous about providing the next one. I’ll post it in a new thread.
 
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Ah...and I forgot to post the final "approved" limerick that resulted, after workshopping, from this one:

There once was a man from Poughkeepsie
Whose alcohol made him quite tipsy.
His eyesight was blurry;
His speech was all slurry:
"Gimme a drink or I'll rips ye!"

To this one:

There once was a man from Poughkeepsie
Whose alcohol made him quite tipsy.
He dressed with more flair,
Bought a big dancing bear,
Then went out to find work as a gypsy.

I'll let you be the judge...
 
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quote:
But as predicted by the Oracle of Chicago, it is Stella who wins the prize


I told Stella I had two things to say about her limerick:

One, I wish I had written it, and

Two, I'm glad she won so she isn't competing in the new game.
 
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quote:
Two, I'm glad she won so she isn't competing in the new game.
Can you imagine how I felt when Stella sent it to me to send to Wordmatic? I wanted to withdraw mine!

I just hope you didn't enter the WPSI, Stella. If so, we're all dead. Wink
 
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