sHere's the new lims. There are some good ones here, so vote early and vote often.

The end rhyme can be either KINT or KENT, depending on your locality. Both work.

Question:
1. A lovesick young nomad from Tashkent
To a virgin a blue note of mash sent.
Though she had five brothers
And certainly others
Who, knowing, would beat up this rash gent

2. There was a young man of Tashkent
Whose tool was remarkably bent
It went left and then right
In a spiral quite tight
T’was a drill! What did you think I meant?

3. A young woman lived in Tashkent
Whose evenings were in passion spent.
The mullahs cried, “Whore!
Girls like you we deplore,”
While quietly paying her rent.

4. Said a bow-legged girl in Tashkent:
“While my legs do not close like they’re meant,
I can still say, with pride,
Men enjoy what’s inside
When my legs open wide -- pleasure-bent.”

5. Said a young Christian girl from Tashkent
To her boyfriend who’d bought her some scent,
”I know you feel randy
And that scent will be handy —
But I’ve given up screwing for Lent.”

6. An unscrupulous street-worker’s flash sent
An unfortunate fellow from Tashkent
Sky high with passion
Till she brought him crashin’
Back earthbound when all of his cash went.

7. A demented young gent from Tashkent
Who had given up fucking for lent,
With regrettable haste,
Had, to keep himself chaste,
Set his penis in quick-dry cement.

8. I once knew a lass in Tashkent
Who never could take a rash hint.
Could she lose a few pounds??
(Her thigh, it astounds!)
Of reality, give her a glint!

9. There was a young girl of Tashkent
Who met a young man from Trent
He said, “You silly bint,
It’s not called Tashkint.”
She’s Uzbek, not Maori, he meant.

10. So the virgin went down into Tashkent
And when she returned with her sash rent
Brothers, cousins and more
Went to settle the score
And the nomadic fool got his ash bent.

11. Said a miser who lived down in Tashkent,
”I can’t think where some parts of my stash went.
It’s perfectly clear
That my jewels are still here —
But I don’t know where all of my cash went.”

12. Said a sinner who came from Tashkent
“I’ve done wrong but now I repent.
I won’t drink, I won’t smoke
And no women, no joke!
I suspect I may be discontent.

13. There was an old dame in Tashkent
Whose pussy was terribly rent.
When the sandstorms would blow,
She could hide men below.
Her labia served as a tent.

Choices:
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen

 

Well, there are certainly some fine submissions here! I have now voted - with some difficulty I have to confess so high are the standards.

Hey Arnie - I'm a bit slow on the uptake after watching that epic Australian Open tennis final between Nadal & Djokovic the longest Grand Slam Final ever at 5 hours 53 minutes, but it took me 5 goes before I managed to find the new Question in the Profile.

Well done Proof in attracting the highest number of entries since I've been playing the game - it would be good if we could get the vote count up a bit too.

Proof, this was a great one. While I had trouble with the it, obviously others didn't. There are some good ones there.

Sorry not to have been here for a few days. Computer problem -- my wife wouldn't get off it.

I'll wait till tomorrow to post the names and winner so anyone who hasn't voted can do so.

Here are the authors of the entries in this contest. I was glad to see so many taking part in the contest and hope some of the newer members will join us in the next one.

1. Bethree5... She used the hardest rhyme scheme with admirable results.

2. BobHale... I think his misplaced apostrophe in L5 may have sunk his entry. Sorry I didn’t notice it till now.

3. Geoff ... Been there, done that.

4. Proofreader ... I thought it was GREAT!

5. Richard English ... Explored the problems with religion in fine style.

6. Greg S ... Another difficult rhymer

7. Mike ... Now there’s a concrete example

8. Kalleh ... Score one for Chicago

9. Arnie ... Holy bibliophile!

10. Bethree5 ... Another harder version from B5

11. Richard English ... A creditable try at the harder rhyme

12. BobHale ... Another worthy essay

13. Geoff ... Dedicated to the sporting goods crowd

According to my count, numbers one and six both had two votes. So it’s up to me to cast my vote for a winner.

Both authors used the hardest rhyme scheme (TASHkent) and I like them both equally. However, just from a technical standpoint, Greg’s L3 is a bit off on meter (could better be “Was sky high with his passion”, as one example),

so the nod goes to Bethree5.

I loved Geoff's #3.

quote:

Kalleh ... Score one for Chicago

Um...Score zero for Chicago.

quote:

Arnie ... Holy bibliophile!

Huh?

Good thing you didn't declare me the winner, Proof. It would have been very embarrassing, because (according to my reading of the Poll), my limerick No. 6 did not receive any votes - it was Mike's No. 7 that got the 2 votes.

Please don't ask me to explain any discrepancies. I think my medications were kicking in.

Um no I don't think so, as mine got -0- votes. Bob Hale's & Mike's (screwdriver & cement) got 2 votes each so proof needs to break the tie...

Strictly as a footnote, my 2 lims were verses 1 & 2 of a long-forgotten Arabian tale

I think you are reading the poll incorrectly. Numbers one and six were tied. The line showing how many votes each got is UNDER the number.

Check again Proof:

See the Poll results and you'll find.

Votes (Percent)% Bar Graph
Option

So the Option Number is below the Bar Graph.

Yes, that's always confusing, isn't it. I just count the limericks when I am checking to see who wrote what. Otherwise I am hopelessly flummoxed!

I have to get my glasses checked. Oh, wait. I don't wear them now.

I think I performed a similar misapprehension in an earlier game but didn't learn a lesson from it. My apolgies for the gross error.

So two and seven were the winners and I have to vote for one. Once again, they are both of equal merit but I'll have to go with seven, based on Bob's misspelling.

Next place, Mike

I liked both of those, though, as I said, I had voted for Geoff's. There were some good ones here!

I thought that #2 was the clearly the cleverest, but it just didn't scan well for me.

Is there any way to revise the poll so that it's less confusing?

Yes, work on it until it's idiotproof, then run it by me again. If I can cope with it, you've got a good deal.

There is no way to change it. However, counting the limericks works fine. Just get into that habit.

Thanks for the votes. I must apologize, firstly for the vulgar limerick, and secondly because I have been a very occasional visitor recently. I have an 18-month old daughter who is demanding an awful lot of my time.

I also thought that #2 was the cleverest, and it received my vote despite the scanning problems that Geoff pointed out.

I'll post a new place name shortly.