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28 July 2008 is the deadline for submitting your limericks in which the key word is CANNES. I made a couple of errors in trying to get this new thread started. CANNES rhymes with an, ban, bran, can, Dan, flan, man, Nan, pan, plan, ran, span, Stan, tan, than. van, and lots of other words. Oh what a tangled thread we spin when first we're trying to begin.... Forget Antofagasta. That was a gross error. | ||
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My paltry little one is in your box. | |||
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For me, the most difficult part of being a teacher was grading. I fear that I've not done an adequate job as Chairman of the Cannes Limerick Committee, and I don't intend to grade the submitted Limericks. Here is what I have collected. LIMERICK CONTEST DEADLINE 28 JULY 2008 A worthy contribution from Valentine: quote: Posted July 27, 2008 09:07 A tourist who hailed from France, Cannes Was amazed by les pommes in Spokane His guide explained, "Man, We eat what we can, And what we can't eat, we can." quote: A tourist who hailed from France, Cannes Was amazed by les pommes in Spokane "We eat," his guide stated "What we can, but when sated "Then what we can't eat, we can." Richard English Nymphomaniacal Anne Picked up a nice hunk, down in Cannes. Her shock was profound When she stripped him and found A lesbian butch called Suzanne Kalleh There once was a Wordcrafter, Nan Whose lim'ricks her friends would all pan. "They're awful" they'd say, "What a paltry display!" She finally escaped to French Cannes Proofreader There once was a cutey from Cannes Who told a young mannes of her plannes If he went to the banc She’d screw for a franc Or else he could get off by hannes Can you do the cancan in Cannes? Of course. There’s no reason to ban The dance erotique That lets gentlemen pique At where ladies can’t get a suntan On the beach on La Croissette in Cannes The film starlets litter the sannes Where the nouveau-riche Ogle girls at the beach And conjure their nefarious plannes jerry thomas A gardener living in Cannes Wants to share his elaborate plan: Decorating the ghettos With palms and palmettos With much charismatic élan. I feel a strong need to ask for a volunteer to do the next round.This message has been edited. Last edited by: jerry thomas, | |||
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My vote for the best limerick goes to jerry's one. That would mean that he would have to think of another place name and run the next competition... They say practice makes perfect. Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life. | |||
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I'll take credit (or discredit) for the anonymous limerick. Richard's haS MY VOTE. | ||
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I submitted one - and then a revision in case a 5 line common rhyme would not qualify. | |||
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The inspiration for those was the joke, intended to demonstrate that the Brits have no sense of humour: A Pommie, when touring the apple orchards in Washington, was astounded at the number of apples being harvested. "What on earth do you do with all of those apples," he asked. His guide said, "We eat what we can, and what we can't eat, we can." The Brit, once home, was asked by friends what he thought of the US. He responded that he found it to be a very nice country, but that the people had a very odd sense of humour. When asked to explain, he described his visit to the apple orchard, concluding with: And my guide said, "We eat many of them, and we put the rest in tins." The tourist explained that his guide thought that was extremely funny, but that he didn't see the humour in it at all. | |||
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Nope. Jerry has to decide. Come on, Jer! We won't be hurt. Which one do you prefer? That's all this is; an individual preference. This isn't CJ's old grading of limericks. | |||
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Okay ... when forced to make a selection .. my choice is Proofreader's Cannes can-can one. Congratulations, Proofreader Now it's your turn. ~~~ jerry | |||
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You're up, Proofreader! | |||
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New thread started | ||