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<Asa Lovejoy>
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Some of the pithiest phrases I've ever read have come from people known to be curmudgeons. Examples include H.L. Mencken's, "Puritanism is the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy," or Dorothy Parker's "By the time you swear you're his,/Shivering and sighing,/And he vows his passion is/Infinite, undying-/One of you is lying.

Who are your favorite curmudgeons, and what are your favourite sayings?
 
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Picture of C J Strolin
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Sorry if this seems a bit pedantic but your Dorothy Parker piece is missing its fifth line. I can't quote it from memory but it's something along the lines of "Be careful, Dearie,"

To all Parker fans I heartily recommend her biography "You Might as Well Live."

As most posters here probably know, Ms Parker is probably best known for her sad-but-all-too-true observation "Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses" to which I offer the following:

It's said that a man will not date the kind
Of a woman who looks like she might have a mind.
It's also quite sure that his love is receeding
From a woman whose rear end is cut and is bleeding.
In short it is certain that men won't make passes
At women who wear, or who sit on, their glasses.

Ever since I was a teenager, I've always looked upon Dorothy Parker as the sort of sharp-tongued, slightly boozy aunt that my more conservative parents would always try to protect me from. Thankfully, they were unsuccessful. Rest in peace, sweet Aunt Dorothy.
 
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Picture of shufitz
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>>"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses"

I recall this from a Playboy magazine of my youth:

"Men don't make passes
At girls who wear glasses,"
So Dorothy Parker has said.
She said it quite rightly;
They're very unsightly
-- But no one wears glasses to bed.
 
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Picture of Hic et ubique
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quote:
Who are your favorite curmudgeons, and what are your favourite sayings?

Ambrose Bierce's Devil's Dictionary defines positive: wrong at the top of one's voice.
 
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