First the pronunciation guide:

It should properly be WAY nan but as that might prove tricky to rhyme I'll accept way NAN.

Now the background.
Today I have moved school, apartment and city because one senior member of staff (not sure if it was the college principal or just the campus principal) decided that I am too old and would not write the letter of authorisation that the police have to have for anyone over sixty.
My new position is at a good school in Weinan but has a few significant drawbacks.

First, and worst, is that the school is 5km from the nearest shop! This would not normally be a problem but for bloody - you guessed it - COVID. The problem is that to use busses you have to scan a QR health code but to do that you need to register with the health authority. To do THAT you need an eighteen digit Chinese ID number and a passport number isn't acceptable. I can't have that because I'm not Chinese. Up until last week the alternative was Didi (Chinese Uber) but last week the Chinese Government decided that the English version of the app had to be taken out of the app store (not sure why) but I can't use that now. My boss said use the Chinese app. I am not sure which bit of "I don't speak or read Chinese" he is having trouble understanding.

Next up there is the apartment. God knows what the previous occupant did but the kitchen was filthy - the sort of filth that you get if you first make it filthy and then lock it up for a year to fester. The freezer was frozen solid and defrosting it revealed some rotten food UNDER the ice. The air conditioning works but with a drip every two seconds into a strategically placed bucket. There is no bedding other than a scatter cushion sized pillow - no sheets or blankets so I guess he took them with him. One room is locked and with no key and when I inquired I was met with an ominous "a previous teacher left things locked in there". What things? I am imagining dismembered bodies. There is another room that has more dust than a three hundred year old tomb covering everything including a box full of half used packets of food that I am reliably informed "have been there for some time". From the thickness of the dust I think probably about ten years. The sofa which is very nearly the sole item in the rather spartan living room looks as if it was once a piece of quality furniture that has been attacked by a large group of feral cats, shredding the cover that it used to have.

I could go on but I think I have ranted enough.

Bonus points will be awarded for anyone who can work ALL OF THAT into five lines.

Your time begins now.
(You should watch Taskmaster to get that reference. The British or New Zealand versions are both very good. The mercifully brief American take on the format wasn't.) It's all on Youtube.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: BobHale,

I think I sent one, but I'm not too sure if it's a limerick.

I have received a question about pronunciation.

That second syllable should rhyme with ban, can, Dan, fan, man, pan etc

NOT with Don, On, con, John etc

Now I realise there is going to be a problem because for you crazy people across the PONd the words "don" and "dawn" are homophones but for me they are not. In fact, checking on rhymezone (which is an American rhyming dictionary) for rhymes for "con" sixteen of the thirty one highlighted main rhymes are not, for non-Americans rhymes at all. But that doesn't matter as you will be looking for rhymes for "man" and on rhymezone all of those DO rhyme.

Clearer?

And to help a bit more let me write a nonsense, but correctly rhyming, limerick

There once was a man of Weinan
Who liked to be known just as Anne
He would claim that his nose
Smelled just like a rose
Or bacon he'd fried in a pan

I think the model for our (mis)pronunciation may be "Taiwan."

This message has been edited. Last edited by: haberdasher,

Oh, and BTW, about the first syllable - is it to be "WEI-" as in "by" or as in "way" ?

hey, say "way" today

I'll try to get all of your rant into it, Bob.

So far WITHOUT EXCEPTION every limerick I have received has rhymed it with on, gone, none, Don etc in spite of my best efforts to explain that it rhymes with ban, can, Dan, man etc

I wonder why that is.

OK, I changed mine. Now it's worse than ever.

SENILITY SUUUUCKS!

Surely when you get it old it's not the senility that sucks, it's losing your teeth.

quote:

Originally posted by Geoff:
SENILITY SUUUUCKS!

The Cat In The Hat On Aging, Dr Seuss
-------------
I cannot see
I cannot pee
I cannot chew
I cannot screw
Oh my god, what can I do?

My memory shrinks
My hearing stinks
No sense of smell
I look like hell
My mood is bed-can you tell?

My body's drooping
Have trouble pooping
The Golden Years
Have come at last
The Golden Years
Can kiss my ass.

quote:

Originally posted by BobHale:
So far WITHOUT EXCEPTION every limerick I have received has rhymed it with on, gone, none, Don etc in spite of my best efforts to explain that it rhymes with ban, can, Dan, man etc

I wonder why that is.

Here's why Bob! I sent mine in before your first correction on this. Since I couldn't tell from your intro, I looked up pronunciation and found this

quote:

So far WITHOUT EXCEPTION every limerick I have received has rhymed it with on, gone, none, Don etc in spite of my best efforts to explain that it rhymes with ban, can, Dan, man etc

It may be because of your accent, Bob? My rhymes absolutely rhyme with ban, can, Dan, man - and I sent my limerick to you before you wrote that.

The whole discussion of aging evolving to senility irritates me. Clearly no one here is senile. It reminds me of the Conservatives who are saying that Biden is "losing it" or "senile" because of the decision to pull out of Afghanistan. This would NOT happen were he 20 years younger. Whether or not you agree with his decision (we had been there for 20 years with nothing to show for it but loss of life, after all), he had plenty of expert advice in making that decision. If anyone has listened to his press releases recently, he has been sharp, cogent and full of all sorts of statistics.

There is such a bias in this country against older people. It is one thing I respect about the Asian cultures because they have so much more respect for people who are older.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Kalleh,

quote:

Originally posted by Kalleh:

There is such a bias in this country against older people. It is one thing I respect about the Asian cultures because they have so much more respect for people who are older.

Not just there. My situation here is that I will almost certainly be out of a job next April. Almost all Chinese HAVE to retire at sixty and even as a "foreign expert" it's very unlikely that I will be allowed to work past my sixty fifth birthday. Of course, here a lot of it is about population pressure rather than actual bias.

quote:

Originally posted by Kalleh:
My rhymes absolutely rhyme with ban, can, Dan, man - and I sent my limerick to you before you wrote that.

So it does. My apologies for overlooking it.

Bob, is it not your experience that China has more respect for the elderly than we in the West do? You surely know more about that than I do, but I have always felt that was true.

It's quite complicated. There is certainly more of a tradition of "family" here in that it's far more common for adult children to live with and look after their elderly parents (or perhaps that should be vice-versa) and the idea of having granny shuffled off to some old folk's home where she can be forgotten apart from a once a month visit of embarrassed small talk would be a complete anathema to most families. On the other hand almost everyone retires at sixty (fifty-five for many women) and the idea of working on past then is quite outside the norms of the culture. Once you are retired there isn't - for most folks at least - much to do apart from sitting around with similarly idle people playing cards or chess. The respect for the "person" is there within the family and even towards strangers but it doesn't extend very far societally with regard to providing an interesting or fulfilling life for the elderly.

quote:

Originally posted by Kalleh:
Clearly no one here is senile.

How can you say that? We're not doddering old fools, but I suspect many of us have some degree of senility.

quote:

Originally posted by tinman:
How can you say that? We're not doddering old fools, but I suspect many of us have some degree of senility.

Well there's that short-term memory thing... Or is it long-term? I recently commented on something my [younger!] brother sent, and he said to look at the email he'd sent me about it 6 months earlier... There it was, already read & examined by me-- it included a photo of a painting-- nothing stayed in the register. Sheesh. Now I wonder if I will remember this exchange next February...

Well, things like that happen to everyone, Bethree.

True senility is clearly not on this board. But society will talk anyone over 60 into it. <sigh>