Here are the limericks for Dundee. Please vote, even if you didn't submit a limerick. If you did submit one, then it is mandatory to vote. (How's that for being a control freak? ). Seriously, the more votes, the merrier!

Question:
-1-

I once knew a lad in Dundee
Whose brogue was so thick until he
Met a sweet lassie
(With OH what an assie!),
Who flaunted her Oxford degree!

-2-

The most beauteous landcape to see;
Lovely women, all men will agree;
Lusty men, tall and straight;
All the children are great;
Somewhere else, and not found in Dundee.

-3-

There once was a plumber from Dundee
Who had sex with a girl under a tree.
She said 'Stop your plumbing,
Someone's a'coming.'
He said 'I know, 'cos it's me'.

-4-

A young man who came from Dundee
thought one add to one came to three.
After spending the night
with his girl - he was right -
which he would have been wise to foresee.

-5-

The famous old man of Dundee
sent all of his mail C.O.D.
Said the gum on the stamps
gave his tongue severe cramps -
it was nothing to do with the fee.

-6-

I flew out very late on a Sundee
To a wedding next day up in Dundee,
Though it took thirty hours,
The dateline's great powers
Saw me safely in Dundee on Mondee.

-7-

The first time I went to Dundee
I sat by a Scotsman at tea.
He said "Aye the noo"
I replied, "Same to you",
Which I thought was a good one from me.

-8-

There was an old man from Dundee
Who slowly ate breakfast (bun, tea)
While his pals at the nint'
Knocking back their third pint
Would call: 'Angus, come, do run, tee!'

Choices:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8

 

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Kalleh,

Obviously someone understands the expression "aye the noo" because they voted for it. I did some Googling and discovered it is only used with "och" in front of it, and that it doesn't really mean anything at all, and is predominately used by the English to make fun of the way the Scots speak. Can anyone (preferably not the limerick author because that would give away who you are) but perhaps the person who voted for it, shed any more light on the matter. "Same to you" does seem like a good reply to it though.

I did not know what it meant, but then again I haven't voted yet. I may need to be the tie breaker, and I know just the one I will vote for!

By the way, folks, remember, you are "mandated" to vote if you wrote a limerick (I don't have a job in nursing regulation for nothing! )

Seriously, it's always more fun when we have lots of votes.

We need some more votes!

Three paltry votes. Geez! And we spent so much time writing our limericks. Come on, folks. VOTE!!!

Yeah, come on vote. I sent one this time and I want to win.

Four votes for four different limericks so far...

Recently we've been getting more diverse voting, which I think is kind of nice. It shows how different people like different things in limericks. I'm sure you've seen this too...sometimes a limerick has won where I am left scratching my head. Yet others apparently have loved it.

Of course, people will have different criteria, but for what it's worth, these are mine - in approximate order of importance:

Rhyming and scansion
Relevance to the topic
Humour and wit
Salaciousness

While we await results, a musing on my unrhymable home town...

There was an old fossil from Ithaca
Who claimed he was australopithical
Tho this ancient scourge
Made his home in the gorge
His Pliocene parentage was mythical

Still only five? Come on, folks!

I bet most of us would agree, Richard. Yet the bigger questions are:

~What leeways are you willing to accept for rhyming, particularly if it's a fun rhyme?
~Similarly, how far are you willing to go outside your own pronunciation ways for scansion?
~How relevant should it be to the topic? Would a brief mention of a beach, for example, count if were relevant, ...or would you want more?
~We all know humor varies.
~What is salacious enough...and what's too much?

Thus...then quandry.

As you say, that is a matter for personal judgement. But the exemplar limerick on Ithaca, for example, would not pass my rhyming standards. This might:

My girlfriend, who lisps, went to Ithaca
To get there she had to go with a car.
But she came back so late,
That I feared for her fate -
"I'm back, she said, "and now I mutht kith the car".

And...yours wouldn't pass mine, Richard. So there we are.

Okay, I am impatient. Though we only have 5 votes, I am going to declare a winner: Bob...and I would have voted for his, too, making it three votes.

The rest of the limericks were written by:

1 - Mine...and my husband didn't like "assie" in that one, though I thought it quite fun.

2 - Proof

3 - arnie

4 - Bob - The big winner!

5 - Bob - Bob's favorite of his two

6 - Greg - Some U.S. dialects do say "Sundee" and "Mondee"

7 - Richard - He will explain the reference to "aye the noo" for you.

8 - Bethree

Nice job, folks! It wasn't as easy a rhyme as I would have thought. I am hoping to win in the next couple of weeks as I am reading a book with a great place for a limerick!

Thank you kindly.

Considering that I didn't vote for my own that means only one person voted against me.

My spin doctors will be calling it a landslide.

Next place name up almost instantly.

The reason I made my Scotsman say "Aye the noo" and not "Och aye the noo" (which is more accurate) was simply one of scansion. "Och aye" means "yes" and "the noo" means "now".

So the phrase translates as "right, now" - meaning "OK" or a general suggestion of agreement - although the expression "och aye" on its own is far more commonly encountered in Scotland in my experience. "Och aye the noo" is more likely to be an English person's attempt to to speak "mock Scots".

And I agree that my "Ithaca" limerick is far from perfect, but it's always difficult to rhyme rhymeless words; rhyming words with phrases is about the only way it can be done. And my attempt, in spite of its faults, does actually rhyme Ithaca.

For you Bethree.

It's weak, doesn't scan properly, but could turn into something with some work, but I'm moving house before Christmas and didn't even really have time for this, but managed to squeeze 5 minutes in:

"Please take us somewhere mythic, a
Place with things monolithic, a
True place of magic."
But sadly so tragic -
'Cause I took my kids to Ithaca.

Thanks for the Ithaca contributions, guys!

quote:

but I'm moving house

That's an interesting way to put it. In the U.S. we'd say we're moving or maybe moving to another house. But to "move house" almost, to me, means you are going to move your house across the street or something. It seems a little like the "in hospital" or "at university" usages that our English friends use. Is this similar? Do you in England say you're "moving house?"

We do.

As an interesting aside I once saw, in Madagascar, a large group of people who were literally moving house. They were carrying a small wooden house down the road with all of them surrounding it and holding it up off the ground. It was a very small house and there were a lot of people.

Wow, that must have been good!

Our neighbors house burned down. At the same time, the people across the street had just moved into a beautiful home, designed by Adler. However, they wanted to tear it down and build one of those horrendously huge things. There was a community outcry because Adler was the architect, and finally the outcome was that they gave this amazing Adler home to the neighbors across the street, as long as they paid to have it moved. The neighbors whose house had burned down won in the end because they now have this unique, gorgeous, charming home, and the house across the street looks like a cement factory to me. Long story short...they moved house!

There was a short feature I saw on TV somewhere a little while back about some people who regularly physically move their houses. They live on an island off the coast of South America (Peru?) and the film showed them moving their wooden houses using rollers and a lot of muscle power. I don't recall it being properly explained why they regularly moved the houses.

quote:

I don't recall it being properly explained why they regularly moved the houses.

The bathrooms were full. The toilets back up.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,

One would wonder why they regularly moved houses. I tried to find something about it online, but couldn't.

I just saw a repeat. It was in fact a question in QI. My memory was faulty in a few respects. The island is off the coast of Chile, not Peru. The main reason they move is that they believe in multiple ghosts, and if they think the house is haunted, they'll move it away. I'd forgotten also that the main suppliers of the muscles to move the hoses are their cows, although the humans all were pulling as well. He didn't spell out the name of the island, but it sounded like "chiloé" or similar.