In William Safire's new book entitled
THE RIGHT WORD IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME he offers a number of clever redefinitions of words sent to him by several of his readers. Such as...

condescending: (n.) "a prisoner descending a flight of stairs." (Ed Grimm)

destablize: (v.) "letting the horses out of the barn" (anonymous)

In honor of the then upcoming Super Bowl he included a few redefinitions of football...

superficial: (n.) "a really good referee." (Mel Siedband)

contrapuntual: (adj) "foolishly advocating passing instead of punting on fourth down." (Alfred Greenburg)

haiku: (n.) "signal to center by Japanese quarterback." (Tony Wright)

Poor Bill Safire, if he had only known how halftime at Super Bowl XXVI would turn out he could have included this zinger...

chestnut: (n.) "a male football fan too interested in the female figure." (Claire Ball)

Anyone know any other cute redifinitions?

Oh, I'm going to love these!

dispirited (adj) - the condition of a failed séance-giver

catastrophe (n) - award given to the feline with the largest "view from the rear"

intransigent (n) - a fellow in mid-travel

And there's always the familiar group:
impregnable, inconceivable, unbearable (adj) - unable to become pregnant
insurmountable, inscrutable (adj.) - unwilling to attempt to become pregnant

Which leads me to create:
incompetency (n) - the pliability of a woman upon learning that a man is in a high tax bracket

"In honor of the then upcoming Super Bowl he included a few redefinitions of football."

Since it's baseball season now ...

homeric: hitting many 4-baggers

debased: picked off first

Lackadaisical - lacking daisies, i.e. "My boyfriend arrived lackadaisical!"

Amemeba, I have been trying hard to think of these because I like to encourage our newbies, but they aren't easy!

how about Epicaricacy - the Advice Columnist really feels your pain...

(Ann Landers' "natural" name was Esther "Eppie" Lederer)

Immobile - Without a cell phone.
(What Americans call cell phones we call mobiles.)

Irregardless

Failing to heed one's hearing loss

(sorry, couldn't resist)

quote:

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Originally posted by jo:
Irregardless

Failing to heed one's hearing loss

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also,
Irregardless: the night-watchman got scared on Halloween and ran away

incarnation: (noun) the United States, in an era of cheap gasoline

proration: (adj.) hungry

importune: (adj.) off key (of a musical instrument or voice)

"incarcerate" - stuck in grid lock traffic.

"hurricane" - a senior citizen whose ability to wave a cane in angry protest more than makes up for any physical disability.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: straightarrow,

Oh, I love this pair. Those over 50 will understand.

crapshoot: (noun) the preparation for a colonoscopy
incommode: (noun) the location for preparation for a colonoscopy

This is not original...

From the redneck dictionary

EUROPEAN

"Will you stop turning around to look at that deer. European on my boot."

how about Epicaricacy - the Advice Columnist really feels your pain...

Oh, I love it, Hab!

Now...to think of one for Schadenfreude...A psychiatry quack, i.e., shoddy Freud(e).

...or, Schadenfreude, adjective, a German's pleasure after getting a pair of shoes at last
(shod, "past tense" shodden; Freude = German for joy)

This message has been edited. Last edited by: haberdasher,

PANACEA; (n.) a shallow round saltwater bay off the shore of Italy.

Paraclete: (n.) a tropical bird trained to sing for his owner.

PARONOMASIA (adj) like, but not, Malaysia.

PHATIC COMMUNION (n) The content of speeches delivered at Weight Wachers meetings.

"incipient" - an alcoholic trouble-maker's first drink at the bar.

"belligerence" - an alcoholic trouble-maker's physical profile.

Capitulate: What you do when someone says "Shut up! And why weren't you here two hours ago the way you were supposed to be?"

Corroborate: the two thieves had dinner together

distinct: it really smelled bad

disguise: noun form of "he's"

(No disrespect intended, but do I see an entire sub-genre of redefinitions based on "dis-" meaning "this" ?)

quote:

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(No disrespect intended, but do I see an entire sub-genre of redefinitions based on "dis-" meaning "this" ?)

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Do you mean as in:

"discourse" - the serving which has just arrived at an Italian restaurant?

And then there is:

"insouciance" - the stage between "incipience" and "belligerence" in the trajectory of an alcoholic trouble-maker.

Which brings us to:

"apprehensible" - the nervousness of someone standing next to someone gesticulating with a full glass in the early stages of intoxishakes.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: straightarrow,

SUSHI: An Italian explaining what Susan did

Bigamist: Fog in Italy

Cognomen: What you name gear teeth

Cantaloupe: What Romeo and Juliet didn't do

Dyslexia: When someone steals your Lexus

"diva" - swimsuit beauty

"apertif" - a gap between teeth, usually as the result of fisticuffs

Disdain's da one from Copenhagen.

Hyphenation: What the whole country will become when all the yuppies keep both their native names and their spouse's.

...or, Schadenfreude, adjective, a German's pleasure after getting a pair of shoes at last

Hab, you always get the best of me!

Dispiritedly - There is no liquor left!

Unisex Many students' main reason for going to college.
Unicycle Students' main mode of transport around campus.

Can a neologism be a redefinition? Perhaps it belongs in a "portmanteau" thread instead.

C-PAPNEA -- the treatment and the disease all rolled into one...

(the condition of sleep-apnea is often treated with Continuous Positive Airway Pressure, abbreviated C-PAP)

quote:

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Originally posted by jo:
EUROPEAN: "Will you stop turning around to look at that deer. European on my boot."

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Reminds me of a cartoon seen recently. As a man walks down an office build hallway, you see successive doors, each with a sign on it. The signs read,

Eurobank
Eurocurrency
Euromarketing
Eurolaw
Eurofinance
Euronals

quote:

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Originally posted by Asa Lovejoy:
Hyphenation: What the whole country will become when all the yuppies keep both their native names and their spouse's.

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hyphenation: the area surrounding one of the largest cities in Israel
comatose: (adj) having curved digits on the feet
scintillate: party 'til dawn

I heard this today on Car Talk:

Shiftless - When people with standard shift cars never downshift when necessary.

Escape ........ an essential element in Superman's wardrobe.

reprobate - the Estate can't be settled without another Court hearing...

reproof - tell me again how much alcohol there is in that liqour?

replicate - fold it again

qualified: made into a furry round-eared marsupial that climbs eucalyptus trees and eats their leaves

officiate === Maybe THAT'S what made him so sick.

extrapolate - even more courteous than usual

perverse === Lullaby poems for the pussycat's children.

redoubtable desirable or undesirable attribute for a politician, depending on your point of view
(I didn't believe him last time, and I don't believe him now either)

redolent - another forty days of abstaining

copulate ==== "The perp left a long time ago, Officer."

Spoliate

To cover with spools?

I know it's kinda lame - I'm learning.

Assets - Young female donkeys

Peter Ustinov in the 1968 movie, "Hot Millions."

Tinman

Vespas - evening services in the Boston cathedral

REVOLT - upgrade the electrical service

harass - the basis of being dasypygal
embarassed - putting the same on display

Explication to enlarge the store of useless knowledge - "pyg-" is a root meaning buttocks.

Gasoline

The line we in the USA got in in 1973 when there was a petrol shortage

IDIOT BOX:

The part of the envelope that tells a person where to Place the stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.

Tinman

quote:

Gasoline

The line we in the USA got in in 1973 when there was a petrol shortage

and now, in 2005, the line at any station offering gas for less than $2.00 a gallon

If the idiot box is the TV, then we have village vidiot: one who watches too much TV (credit Ogden Nash)

And tinman's link mention car pool, which inspires this in the lines of gasoline:
car poop: a major contributor to smog
carbage: synonymous with car poop