Here are the submissions for Tooting:

1.
In a district near London called Tooting
A geek who is into computing
Has fallen all over
A Duchess from Dover;
His chances are nil...no disputing!

2.
A fellow who lived down in Tooting
Had the people there laughing and hooting
He struck a fine pose
When he took off his clothes
And stood naked, but proudly saluting.

3.
There is of course little disputing
The hot topic now down in Tooting.
It isn't "The Wedding"
But rather the bedding
And when Wills and Kate started rooting.

4.
The military brass down in Tooting
Send all their best lasses recruiting -
They're scantily clad
And there's nary a lad
Whose equipment's not smartly saluting.

5.
A footwear fanatic from Tooting
Was a bit of a whizz at computing.
She upgraded her shoe
To a size 6.2
But the other one needed rebooting.

6.
Rampant farting has town air polluting;
People's bumbreaths send animals scooting.
Seems the townfolk like greens
And consume bales of beans.
That's the reason they named the town Tooting.

7.
Revolutionary leaders in Tooting
Get by without bombing or shooting.
When they want to rebel,
With a raised fist they yell
"Power to the people", saluting.

8.
A jobless Senior from Tooting
With a long career in computing
Could just pull out his hair
At his pain and despair
With the new trend in online recruiting.

9.*
Financiers who live down in Tooting
Use the Tube for their daily commuting.
Which is quite far from fine
Since the "Misery Line"
Is the one that they need for this routing.

*The author has provided the following notes:
1. The Tube is London's subway.
2. The Northern Line, which covers the sector from Tooting to Bank, is known by its users as the misery line because of its alleged unreliability.
3. "Routing" is a perfect rhyme for "Tooting" in UK English.

Question:
Please vote in the usual fashion. Thanks!

Choices:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9

 

Hi All,

I just voted. When I did No. 5 had 2 votes, and No. 4 had one. I liked No. 4 best and thought I had clicked on the 4 radio button, but clearly, since it now shows No 3 with one vote and No 4 still with one, I accidentally clicked the wrong button. You can't undo a vote in this game, so Guy, I would really appreciate it if you would deduct 1 vote from No. 3 and add it to No. 4, when making the declaration of this poll. Thank you!

You haven't made any mistakes, Greg. It's just the confusing way that the software displays the results of the poll. At the moment number 4 has one vote, number 5 has two and number 6 has two. I can't deduct a vote from number 3 because no one has voted for it!

Cool - I knew about that issue and it's never fooled me before, but it sure did this time.

Yes, the software reporting system is quite confusing.

I liked one that apparently others liked too, but I just couldn't get one of the lines to scan (a simple change would make it spectacular)...so I selected my second favorite. There are some very creative ones here!

Any more votes, anyone? (By the way I haven't voted myself - what's the usual etiquette on that one?)

quote:

I haven't voted myself - what's the usual etiquette on that one?

I don't think there is any, but I usually save my vote till the end in case it is required to break a tie. If it isn't then I vote for the one I liked best. On the rare occasion (it hasn't happened to me yet), when your vote for your favourite would pull it into a previously non-existent tie, and then your casting vote would then give it the win over the previous leader, I think that I would probably only do that if I felt really strongly that it was the best.

I've now voted myself as it looks as though there are going to be no more votes. Here are the results.

1 (Kalleh) - took a little while to get going, which may explain the lack of votes. Personally I'd have assumed the audience knew where Tooting was and introduced the main character in the first line, giving more time to build up to the payoff. A neat little vignette though.
2 (Bob) - I liked this one, and voted for it despite the slight cheat in the "pose"/"clothes" rhyme. It reminded me of Tony Hawks' book "Playing the Moldovans at Tennis", in which the loser of a bet has to stand naked in a south London street singing the Moldovan national anthem. Was there a connection? Joint second.
3 (Greg) - a well-structured topical offering that surprisingly failed to score. I wonder whether some players were unfamiliar with the Australian slang sense of the verb "root" in the last line. As the Urban Dictionary puts it: "in America it means cheering, in Australia it means fucking". Could be embarrassing in some contexts!
4 (Mike) - a cheeky one which I rather enjoyed. Probably deserved more than its single vote.
5 (Me) - I'd hoped to pick up a vote with this one but I never expected it to win! I presume that, as with Chester, it must have been the pun at the end that swung it. Maybe that's a tip for the aspiring winner next time.
6 (Proofreader) - Flatulence was bound to be a popular subject with some voters, and I'm surprised the topic didn't crop up elsewhere. Not really my cup of tea but a well-crafted verse that deserved its joint second place.
7 (Bob again) - a tribute to the 70s British sitcom character Wolfie Smith, who not everyone will be familiar with (as Mike pointed out with his non-entry). I think this one may have suffered from the slightly weak scansion in the last line. Nice idea but no votes I'm afraid.
8 (Greg again) - Greg told me he didn't expect this to get any votes, as it was more a cry from the heart than anything else. It was certainly the weakest metrically, with the first two lines both falling short. I agree with the sentiment though!
9 (Richard) - having used the Northern Line on many occasions I can vouch for the authenticity of this one! Well put together but without any real laugh in it, which may explain why no one chose it. The annotations were a novel idea.

So, with some embarrassment, I have to declare myself the winner. I'll be coming up with a new place-name shortly.

The new game has been posted.