A New Zealand place name for the next competition, then.

Many of our place names are Maori words and English pronunciations are only approximate – I’m sure that won’t bother you free-rhymers too much

Rotorua is a city in the central North Island of NZ, a tourist attraction known for its geothermal activity, geysers, boiling mud pools and rotten egg aromas.

Pronunciation (near enough): rohr-tohr-ROO-uh

All entries gratefully received.

On the way!

I'll send you one, but this isn't an easy word!

Sorry if you’re finding the rhyme tricky. Is the schwa ending unfamiliar? Does it help that the judge rhymes it with newer, pure, who’re and all possibilities along the lines of knew a / knew ‘er etc.?

I tried to avoid an ‘r’ ending having learnt about erotics and non-erotics over at the OEDILF and I also resisted the temptation of posting the name of this place which is not far from me -Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapiki-maungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu, one of the longest place names in the world, meaning (approximately) ‘The hilltop where Tamatea with big knees, conqueror of mountains, eater of land, traveller over land and sea, played his flute to his beloved.’

Anyway, there’s been some good geothermal activity in my inbox so far and I’m guessing that ideas might still be bubbling in the boiling mud pools of the rest of your minds so I’ll leave you to steam away over the weekend and publish the results on Monday.

I'll send you one over the weekend. It does help to see what the judge rhymes it with. Thanks!

I can't imagine living at a place with such a long name! That is hilarious!

Try living in the smallest state with the longest name.

Well, not the longest name...

I've sent mine, Stella, but I suspect the rhymes don't work.

Don't post the results just yet. I intend to send a couple tomorrow.

quote:

Well, not the longest name...

Is there one with a longer official name than the "State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations?"

quote:

Originally posted by BobHale:
Don't post the results just yet. I intend to send a couple tomorrow.

Okey-doke, Bob, and while we're waiting I'll let you know that we have just had a WHAMMER of an earthquake. 5.9 and just 10km to the south. Things fell off the shelves! and the poor dog is hiding under the bedclothes!

I thought there might be an aftershock but it seems that all is quiet again in the growling underbelly of NZ. Actually I just checked the geonet site and there was another shake - 3.5 10 mins later, but I didn't feel a thing.

I must get one of those things that make the Earth move. Now what is it they're called?

Ah yes. A mistress

quote:

Is there one with a longer official name than the "State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations?"

Really, proofreader? I hadn't known that. Shu claimed that he knew it, but I am skeptical.

Oh, Stella, so sorry to hear about your earthquake.

There was, I think not for the first time, a bill introduced into the state legislature this year to start the process of removing the Providence Plantations part. I wasn't interested enough to look to see whether the Constitution would have needed to be amended.

It got nowhere, though it did engender some predictable discussion reaction, both pro and con.

First off the block - I thought this selection from Proofreader was great, my only reservation being the number of mentions given to Australian wildlife.

A wallaby in Rotorua
Had sex with a red kangaroo. A
Zoo keeper said,
“They were in bed?
No way he can reach up to screw-a.”

A resident of Rotorua
Had sex with a New Zealand whore.
She soon had a boy,
But he found no joy
As Dad, so he’s off to Papua.

If a bus takes you on a tour’a
The sulphur springs near Rotorua,
You won’t have much fun:
Vile steam blocks the sun
And smells like an Australian sew-a

That wallaby in Rotorua
Who screwed with a red kangaroo: A
Zoo expert spoke,
“Is this a joke?
He’s too short. He can’t put it too-a.”


Next this lovely one by Jerry with and without links. Kalani Honua looks fabulous, Jerry – much nicer then Rotorua.

If we ever see Rotorua,
We'll most certainly know what to do. Ah!!
It's a place with much soul
In Maori parole,
But it's not like Kalani Honua.


Kalleh came up with a perfect limerick even after making a bit of a fuss about rhyming

In New Zealand there once was a Brewer
Who brewed in the town, Rotorua.
His beer was a dud
(It tasted like Bud!);
Its aroma was that of a sewer!


Continuing the rotten egg and beer theme, came two excellent offerings from Richard – faultless apart from the fact that there’s great beer to be had in Rotorua (and every other place in NZ) - it’s our national beverage. Here’s a link to The Croucher Brewing Co in Rotorua which is offering a lifetime’s supply of beer if you can locate their stolen laptop.

As soon as you reach Rotorua
You’ll smell it – it’s not, though, the sewer.
It’s hot jets of steam
With a sulphurous theme
And geysers that stagger the viewer.

You can dine well on Lake Rotorua
In a style to enchant a reviewer.
Not me though, I fear
As there’ll be no good beer –
Rotorua has, sadly, no brewer.


And lastly but not leastly, Bob’s tail enders, which were well worth waiting for. I especially liked #3’s quirky ending.

A visitor to Rotorua
Remarked, "To the casual viewer,
This place looks just swell
But what's up with the smell?
I think somebody's opened a sewer?"

Said a traveller, while making a tour,
I'm looking for something that's newer
Than some old tourist trap.
I'll stick a pin in a map
So he did, and he found Rotorua.

The guide book employed a reviewer
To scour through the town, Rotorua
And seek the top ten
Attractions: but when
He got there he found there were fewer.


It was so hard to choose a winner but in the end I decided on Proofreader for his final offering. Although it’s not as technically perfect as some of the others (and raises the slight suspicion that he might have got NZ mixed up with Australia), I thought this one was funny and risqué and it sort of epitomises what I like about Wordcraft limericks. Congratulations!

Thanks, Stella. Here's a missing link.

quote:

faultless apart from the fact that there’s great beer to be had in Rotorua (and every other place in NZ) - it’s our national beverage.

I did check the Rotorua website and it had no mention of any breweries and the single mention of beer was that it was available at a restaurant (the one on the lake, as it happens). But no indication of its type - which is generally a pretty fair indication that it is the usual cold, fizzy and generally nasty mock-pilsner type of beer that infests eating establishments throughout the world.

Anyway, I took a look at the Croucher site and it would seem that New Zealand is now (since 1994) producing real beer, after many years of being a beer desert. Here's what Paul Croucher has to say of both the USA's and New Zealand's, beer production "...They were arguably the most regulated liquor markets in the world - each having real or virtual alcoholic prohibition. Subsequent to this, both countries have mass-produced beers with brand and consistency more important than character and flavour...."

I will have to try some Croucher - I am sure the bottled variety be available in London - and find out what it's like. I do note that most of his beers are bottled and none is bottle-conditioned (or at least that fact isn't mentioned in their writeup). He does claim to produce "tap" beer - but an inspection of the brewing facilities http://www.flickr.com/photos/17707013@N00/257908419/ shows that the containers used to store the tap beer are cylindrical kegs, not proper casks, and thus the beer cannot be cask-conditioned.

So, maybe New Zealand is following the lead of that slightly larger island, 1500 miles to the northwest, and resurrecting its brewing traditions. Like New Zealanders, the Australians consider themselves great beer drinkers but they, too, have not known about good beer for many years. It's only through the likes of Coopers http://www.coopers.com.au/ that Australians have begun to rediscover what beer can taste like.

I don't know if I should thank Stella or not. I know she didn't choose mine because she's afraid of the competition. Although she did leave out one I sent her as a bonus, which had nothing to do with Rotorua.

New Zealand ain’t home to a boa.
To see snakes, move on to Samoa.
But N. Z. had a bird,
Was the biggest, I heard,
But there’s not a moa no moa

L3&4 fixed, Stella

I'll start a supplementary thread as soon as I spot a suitable site saturated in suds.

How's that for free alliterative prose?

Talk about propinquity, or coincidence, or fate. Three things connected this morning which led to my choice.

I am reading abut the events prior to the Allied invasion of North Africa; I saw a story on the internet about a faulty GPS reading; and my atlas flipped open to a map of the Mediterranean.

Details on the GPS story are sketchy but supposedly a European truck driver set his guidance system for the UK, which is where his load was labelled to go. He wasted a lot of time getting to England, where he was apprised of his actual destination. He should have gone to where, during the early days of the invasion, General Eisenhower set up his HQ.

I did consider Malta, since the name reflects at least the probability of the beginnings of an interest in beer production but it lost to the British fortress of

GIBRALTAR.

I await your creations. No free verse, please.

You should start a new thread titled Limerick Game:Gibralter.

As for free verse, I for one am perfectly happy to let you pay me for it. Would you like my PayPal details?

I shall certainly begin a new thread when the time zones catch up to New Zealand.

Is PayPal a fee or a tax?

I don't know, Proofreader, but I do wonder if your limerick is really poetry.

Congratulations on your limerick (it was damn good poetry!), and I will send you one soon.

According to some, it's poetry if I say it is (and I do) and it's Art if I say it is (and I do). I therefore expect and demand the proper respect and adulation from the admiring throngs who have thus far silently audienced (thereby turning a noun into a verb -- Oh! the talent!) this discussion.