1
While quaffing a pint in Great Barugh
A lady approached in a scarugh...
It's all she was wearing!
I sputtered while swearing,
And jumped up on hind legs: "Arugh! Arugh!"

2
So, touring, and just for a larugh,
I checked out the ville of Great Barugh.
Pop one-eighty-nye-in--
Golden Inn of the Lion!--
Where I had a mighty nice snarugh.

3
I'm Cockney but eat in Great Barugh!
Some Londoners loik best the wharugh--
Loik 'addock 'n bass
'N salmon 'n plaice--
But Oil take meat pie wif me quarugh.

4
Machinists who work in Great Barugh
Will teach a watch dog to bark, "Arf"
When the super approaches
For he'll level reproaches
For failing to sweep up the swarf

5
There was a young lad in Great Barugh
Whose mother would knit him a scarugh
She said, "Bring me more wool
Though my bag looks quite full
For I don't want to do it by harugh!"

6
An orughan who lived in Great Barugh
Tried fishing one day from the wharugh
He did it for profit
But made nothing off it
When all that he caught was a corugh.

7
There once was a guy in Great Barugh
Whose dinner he'd literally snarf.
He'd fork a big glob
(Such a fat slob),
While listening to Simon and Garf...

Question:
Which one would you like to vote for?

Choices:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7

 

I’ll take -1- overall, and a thinking-outside-the-box prize to -7-.

I didn't pick #7 because lines 3 and 4 don't have the same number of beats, so picked #1 instead.

I note that only one of them didn't get creative with spelling. Curious.

Not bad for such a hard word.

I was going to comment of the paucity of rhymes but on actually looking at them the overlap isn't really all that great, with nine different words for the fourteen opportunities:
arf twice
wharf twice
scarf twice
snarf twice
cough
half
Garf[unkel]
laugh
swarf

Though I'm not sure I understand "swarf" (in verse 4). I infer it means something like trash?

Swarf is a primarily UK term meaning metal chips, but may mean any debris, IIRC.

Hoo rote hwat?

bethree5

While quaffing a pint in Great Barugh
A lady approached in a scarugh...
It's all she was wearing!
I sputtered while swearing,
And jumped up on hind legs: "Arugh! Arugh!"

So, touring, and just for a larugh,
I checked out the ville of Great Barugh.
Pop one-eighty-nye-in--
Golden Inn of the Lion!--
Where I had a mighty nice snarugh.

I'm Cockney but eat in Great Barugh!
Some Londoners loik best the wharugh--
Loik 'addock 'n bass
'N salmon 'n plaice--
But Oil take meat pie wif me quarugh.

Geoff

Machinists who work in Great Barugh
Will teach a watch dog to bark, "Arf"
When the super approaches
For he'll level reproaches
For failing to sweep up the swarf

haberdasher

There was a young lad in Great Barugh
Whose mother would knit him a scarugh
She said, "Bring me more wool
Though my bag looks quite full
For I don't want to do it by harugh!"

An orughan who lived in Great Barugh
Tried fishing one day from the wharugh
He did it for profit
But made nothing off it
When all that he caught was a corugh.

Kalleh

There once was a guy in Great Barugh
Whose dinner he'd literally snarf.
He'd fork a big glob
(Such a fat slob),
While listening to Simon and Garf...

And inspired by Kalleh's entry I penned this which I have refrained from posting until now...

I listened to Radio Great Barugh
Where they rarely played much more than half
Justin Bieb, Michael Jack
Young and Gifted (not Black)
And the songbook of Simon and Garf

Well, darn! After reading #6 a few more times it finally made sense to me, and I like it! Hab, I regret the error!

Geoff the cloughless

No 'pology necessary. Maybe with something this strained we should have included a translation:

An orphan who lived in Greet Barugh
Tried fishing one day from the wharf
He did it for profit
But made nothing off it
When all that he caught was a cough!

It appears that B35 is the weiner. And I didn't even know she was Australian! To where will you (mis)lead us, B35?

Comin' atcha.