Okay Folks here we go with the Tooleybuc Poll. Although it was only required for the A-rhyme to ryhme with ...buc, I am pleased to see many got very creative and tried to take it further.

Question:
1
Going home, driving drunk (Tooleybuc),
Hit a portable john with my truck.
With my driving so sloppy
I wrecked my jalopy,
And ended face-down in the muck.

2
Huey and Dewey and Louie Duck
All once descended on Tooleybuc
They ate barbie and snags*
From brown paper bags
While Daisy Duck straddled a geoduck.**

*Australian slang for sausages, ** A clam, pronounced “gooey duck,” native to British Columbia, Canada, which possesses a very long neck.

3
There's a small tavern in Tooleybuc
Where haunts a woman who'll run amok
When plied with some ale
She'll strip and she'll wail,
“Give me a root and I'll truly suck”

4
I've a cute hairy boyfriend in Tooleybuc
Who's quite an exceptional woolly fuck.
He's fuzzy and warm,
And around him I swarm.
My meeting this guy was such truly luck!

5
Playing a round up in Tooleybuc
I hit a drive so untruly struck
That it sliced deadly straight
To the right at my mate -
Whacked him right in the left goolie* - Yuck!

* British slang for testicle

6
I’ve heard there’s a trollop in Tooleybuc
Who’s too good — she’s said to unduly suck
On johns’ little toes
(et al, I suppose!)
When pried off, like Velcro, she’s newly stuck.

7
Red-nosed Rudolph, who grew up in Tooleybuc
Whined a lot, and they called him a puleybuc.
Till he led Santa’s sleigh
Christmas Eve, Night, and Day
And so truly he now is a Yooleybuc.

8
They say there's woman in Tooleybuc
That some say can really and truly suck
The wind from the sails
Of lusty young males
She takes all their money; they're truly stuck.

Please cast your votes now.

Choices:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8

 

More votes please!

Even though we were told that the emphasis was on "buc", my mind-ponunciation kept wanting to say TOOLeybuc. I hate to say that I gravitated to the ones that rhymed the tooley.

Anyway, good limericks.

We do seem to focus on "pure," to our personal accents, rhymes, don't we?

This was a hard word and I thought there were some creative submissions.

Although submitted too late for publication, I did find a perfect rhyme for Tooleybuc - at least to my own accent's definition of it:

He never traveled to Tooleybuc

Rather, Sir Richard would have the luck

To go where ex-Danes

Would go to great pains

To feed him on Ultima Thule* buck

* Ultima Thule (pronounced "Too-lee") is a mythical place in the farthest North, and the title of Sir Richard Burton's
book about his visit to Icelandd in the 1800s

Iceland, it is thought, was originally populated by Danes.

Here's my self-censored lim (realized nights are never cold in Tooleybuc...)

When nights grow cold, winters in Tooleybuc,
A blanket can be a nice wooly tuck
But instead I will hurry
To the banks of the Murray
For a rendezvous: Jane, & a jolly f*.

So, is it time for me to split the tie, and give a casting vote?

Sure, Greg, do it. Getting six people to vote is a great achievement; seven is miraculous!

Oh, bethee5, how do you think fasterisk rhymes with Tooleybuc? And is "hashtag" a special German day, like Maytag?

So I have given a casting vote, and Geoff is the winner. Entries were received from:

1. Proofreader - a dirty limerick that garnered 2 votes
2. Geoff - A clever one with a good dose of Aussie slang for an Aussie town
3. Geoff - I initially thought this might win because of its blue theme, but alas no votes
4. Kalleh - Kalleh didn't even like this one herself, but still managed to pull a vote
5. Greg - my favourite, but otherwise friendless maybe there's no golfers amongst the voters
6. Bethree5 - a blue limerick with very clever A-rhymes pulling one vote
7. Haberdasher - the only one that had perfect A-rhymes if you consider "Tool" is the emphasised syllable. A good bit of fun. I hope we see more Haberdasher limericks in future
8. Geoff - got my casting vote because I preferred blue-dirty to brown-dirty

Just on where the emphasis is in Tooleybuc - I originally thought it was with "buc", but on seeing Haberdasher's it reminded me of this limerick by anonymous (I think) where the emphasis is clearly on the 3rd last syllable, and I now think Haberdasher may have been right, and should have collected a vote or two.

The limerick's a form anatomical
And for space it is quite economical,
But the good ones I've seen
Are so seldom clean
And the clean ones are so seldom comical

Anyway now to Geoff for a new game.

PS: In Race 5 at Flemington (home of the Melbourne Cup) today, horse No. 6 at odds of 8-1 is a horse called "Tooleybuc Kid". I will let you know how it goes later.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Greg S,

Because polls utterly flummox me, and because Haberdasher did, indeed, write one in perfect form, I'll ask him to stand in for me in running the next round. Hab, please pick a town!

BTW, I used up half a bottle of vaseline vacillating between his and bethree's.

Tom, where was yours?

Oh, I don't think Hab has ever hosted a game before. Are you up for it, Hab? It's pretty easy. You post the word, we all send you submissions, and then you put them into a poll. If you're not clear on how to develop a poll, the directions are here.

Although it's a rehashed subject, I still feel that using that )(*&^%$@!&* poll takes much of the fun out of it. It kills spontaneity, and prevents one from posting reasons for one's selection.

If this were a government site I'd sue under the ADA to eliminate it!

Typically suit-happy American Geoff

I don't have any problem hosting the next round.

The location is LEICESTER.

Around here it's pronounced "lester," but if your fancy is to pronounce it longlier (oh, you know what I mean), feel free. The history of the limerick is replete with words that are sounded different from what their orthography would suggest.

As for presenting the results by a poll - I find them unnecessary. And distracting, to be honest. I'd just as soon do without it; I enjoy thinking out loud, talking about why I prefer that one to this one, maybe even misleading a bit and seeing if I can drum up a vote or two for my own submission. And then there's the issue that the numbers on the poll aren't well positioned for the entry they purpoprt to select. Quant a moi I consider the poll is more of an aggravation than an advantage. I can put up with them. but the number of votes cast really isn't large enough to be burdensome.

All that's perhaps the subject for another thread.

In the meantime put your literary Thinking Caps on and visit LEICESTER.

(Edit - left the r out of "your" Sorry.)

This message has been edited. Last edited by: haberdasher,

quote:

Originally posted by Geoff:
Oh, bethee5, how do you think fasterisk rhymes with Tooleybuc?

It's even worse than that: I thought "jolly fasterisk" rhymed with Tooleybuc!

By the way Tooleybuc Kid was just behind the placegetters in 5th place.

If we're sharing opinions on the pole poll, the only thing I don't really like about it is how the number comes behind the result bar instead of above it. (It's very obvious which one you're voting for but not which one has the votes) However, if it's not in the rules I like the idea of the "host" deciding how s/he wants the voting to be handled. I also agree, why not discuss them and why you voted the way you did. I joke about never having gotten a vote (until I finally got one), but I would think that anyone would want to know what the others find good, or funny or how they came to their decision. If no one ever votes for mine again, well that's fine, it lets me know whether you guys have a sense of humor or not.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Tom,

Not mutually exclusive, actually...we'll just see how it evolves. My problem is going to be resisting the temptation to edit. I think I'll manage.