Well yet again, this one caused some trouble. As Bob predicted, there's a lot of similar rhymes here. Still, there's a clear quality increase over the last round, and a couple of very good limericks to choose from. Let the voting commence.

UPDATE: Sorry I missed out a limerick (way too many for my simple mind to keep track of this time). I have reset the poll. If you voted once try again. It seems to work fine for me. Otherwise Let me know which limerick you voted for first time around and I can add it to the total at the end.

Question:
Limerick 1
A hairlipped young lass lived in Lytham
And said, “Oh,the boys!I mutht kitham.
I mutht thuck on their dicks,
Thinth I do love men’th pricks,
And the orgathms that I hath witham.”

Limerick 2
Jeb Raltar once visited Lytham
And took his photographer witham.
To make sure a pic
Of his tricks with his dick
Would make him a legend and mytham.

Limerick 3
I learned how to boogie in Lytham
From some US maths students, who, with 'em,
Had brought a new dance
(And political stance.)
They were masters of that Al-Gore-Rhythm.

Limerick 4
Two twin sister strippers from Lytham
Strip off to a slow sensual rhythm -
But like birds of a feather,
When they come together,
The whole crowd of punters comes with 'em.

Limerick 5
The Council continues their plans --
Despite all the public demands --
To shut down the pools.
Oh! those short-sighted fools!
It’s the end of poor Lytham-St. Anne’s.

Limerick 6
A Catholic lassie from Lytham
When asked by the boys would go with 'em,
But a papal decree
Meant the method that she
Would insist on would always be rhythm.

Limerick 7
A lissome young lassie from Lytham
Did flips without knickers, not with ‘em,
With nary a twinge
Over flashing her minge
Just as long as she kept up the rhythm.

Limerick 8
When Mike was a child he liked Lytham;
His girlfriend would travel there with 'im.
They'd play by the sea,
'Til she'd make him flee,
By tackling and trying to kith 'im!

Limerick 9
Betrothed now, the virgin from Lytham
agreed with her beau to go with'im
to bed, "Cuz, says Fr.—
It's really no bother—
"One just needs a good sense of rhythm!"

Limerick 10
When the golfers descend upon Lytham
And St. Anne's and the huge crowds go with 'em,
It's Seve who commands
Most respect in the stands
Because twice here he found perfect rhythm.

Choices:
Limerick 1
Limerick 2
Limerick 3
Limerick 4
Limerick 5
Limerick 6
Limerick 7
Limerick 8
Limerick 9
Limerick 10

 

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Mike,

Amazing success Michael - 10 limericks with so few rhyming words available to choose from. Full marks to the person who gave the subject a hair-lip to pull in a couple of extra rhymes. Unfortunately I didn't like the actual limerick enough to vote for it and I am a bit surprised we didn't get prickth, dickth and orgathmth.

The creative play on words with algorithm and finding the word in the first place got my vote and also gave me an idea:

Two mathematicians from Lytham
Developed a new algorithm
For finding a root
With someone's who's cute,
But none of their colleagues were with 'em.

For me, the rhythm and Lytham don't work, if Lytham is pronounced how I thought it was. I've not heard it in real life.

On the other hand, I chose a very nonconformist approach, so I should talk.

The only two legitimate rhymes I could find for Lytham were with 'em and rhythm and a couple of homophones like algorithm.

And I should know, I almost had a Chinese meal in Lytham once. (A true, though admittedly not very interesting, remark.)

quote:

Originally posted by Kalleh:
For me, the rhythm and Lytham don't work, if Lytham is pronounced how I thought it was.

You can hear a British pronunciation of Lytham and rhythm on this site -

Lytham

rhythm

There is a difference in the two "th" sounds ... but we probably don't want to get into that again

I couldn't figure out how to listen unless you pay $9.95.

If it's pronounced to rhyme with "with um," as I thought it was, the th sound is sharper than that in "rhythm." But it's clearly a small thing. I was just surprised to see all the "rhythms."

If we got our rhymes from that modern day "rap crap" we'd probably think the aitch was silent and pronounce it as wit' or even a silent TH and pronounce it as wi'.

The current No. 1 hit in Australia is a song with the lyric and song title repeated ad nauseum, of ... well I'm not quite sure what it is but it sounds like "arm a bee". Apparently it's actually "I'm a be", which is really "I'm 'a be", where the second apostrophe represents the missing "gonn", so that it really represents "I'm gonna be". In other words "arm a bee" translates to "I am going to be". Please correct me if I'm wrong but even if I'm proven wrong you'll never stop me wanting to smash my radio every time I hear that crap, which somehow purports to be a song.

Oh and I just remembered the other one that makes me want to smash my radio, it's "Shardie's like a melody in my head". "Shardie" is, according to my teenage daughter, "Shorty". Well to me it's more like a bass drum bashing my brains out.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Greg S,

Your "arm a bee" analysis reminds me of the one that I always find grating.
The full phrase is annoying enough but the way it gets shortened...

The phrase?

"Do you know what I mean, like?"
The first abbreviation is to lose the "Do you" leaving,
"Know what I mean like?"
This becomes
"Know wha'ah mean like"
Which ultimately gets reduced to a grunting
"na'a'min like".

Just my own personal pet peeve there.

Yes - I know language is an evolving thing but surely this kind of rubbish is the "devolution" of language.

"D'jeet?"
"N'd'ju?"

"Did you eat?"
"No, did you?"

These limerick games have been eye-opening to me. Mine rarely get a vote, and the limerick I vote for almost always only has my vote. My taste in limericks just seems very different from that of others on this board. (Of course, there are some who would probably say, "That's because your taste is all in your mouth!" )

Well, I think we've had enough time for voting now. The winner in any case is pretty clear. Here were the authors of the limericks:'

1. Proofreader
2. Proofreader
3. Bob
4. Greg
5. Proofreader
6. Me
7. Stella
8. Kalleh
9. Bethree5
10. Greg

As you can see, Greg is the overwhelming winner for his very clever limerick. Special mentions also to Bob, Stella, and Proof, who all managed to garner a single vote. The rest of us are just going to have to try better next time

I see you're trying to get away without giving the limericks a critique. Don't blame you actually as I am not looking forward to it at all with the next one, which I will post shortly. My problem is that I have very little technical knowledge in the field. I'm not even sure what an anapest is let alone how many of them are supposed to be in each line, and once when I proposed a town I was asked which was the "stressed syllable" and I didn't have a bloody clue. I work form the rather primitive principle that if it reads "rhythmically" and sounds right it probably is. It seems to have served me pretty well so far. However since your Lytham challenge I have now printed out a list of the phonetic alphabet symbols so that next time someone uses these to define a pronunciation I will be able to work it out.

New game has been initiated.

You have a good ear, Greg, and I thought your Lytham limerick was excellent. It has a killer last line!

Congrats, Greg!

Proof, you got my vote.

Could we have a tiny bit of analysis, Michael? I know you did this last time, too, but we'd love some of your sage advice.