1. He was a boy from downtown Hanoi.
He was the cougar's favorite toy.
For he loved to fuck,
And she loved to suck,
And so they gave each other great joy.

2. He dropped bombs over downtown Hanoi
For his job was to search and destroy.
Too bad for civilians;
They die by the millions.
It was a job that gave him no joy.

3. In the jungles outside Hanoi
He was tasked with search and destroy.
He found a farm
That was doing no harm.
He burned it, but it gave no joy.

4. I'll never go back to Hanoi
It isn't a place I enjoy
I never did get
Any presents for Tet
Not even when I was a boy.

5. In the sixties and seventies - OY!
We were lacking of joy in Hanoi.
Fast forward to now,
And all of us vow
Not to let this new leader destroy!

6. For me when it comes to Hanoi,
It isn't a place but a toy.
Its discs placed on towers
Consumed me for hours,
But when my code solved it - what joy!

7. A Frenchman who lived in Hanoi
(He'd lost to guerrillas un oeil)
Used flirty lewd high-jinks
Including one-eye-winks
And surely the girls did annoy.

8. On a trip to the land of Hanoi
I protested the war with no joy
Till they sang me a song
Where I sat was all wrong
I'm compared still to Helen of Troy.

9. On a honeymoon in Hanoi
We were eating rice with bok choy.
"Do you love me?", she asked.
The rice stuck, and the moment passed
So, she found a Hanoi boy toy.

10. There was a young.. what?... of Hanoi
Who said, “Am I a girl or a boy?
I have both sets of bits
So when I do the splits
It gives me a great deal of joy.

11. When I asked Pizza Hut in Hanoi
For a pizza including bok choy
They said “Cabbage, you mean?
Or something else green?
Like our useless delivery boy.”

12. Not quite kosher, but I've decided to include it anyway:

Reflections on Hanoi:

If you ever race cars in ionaH
They don't do it the same as Daytona
You must drive your car back-
wards and circle the track
Making rings from a Cuban Corona

Question:
Choose your favorite!

Choices:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.

 

Free? I'll take ten !

I am struggling with which one to choose. I have it narrowed down to three and one is not at all amusing. Is amusement a requirement in limericks? I know that they generally are amusing. Pondering....

There are no rules sattva. Whilst humorous ones tend to be more popular, if there is a non-humorous one that appeals to you almost as much as a couple of humorous ones, perhaps because of its poignancy, cleverness, means something to you specifically or is typical or topical of the place itself, then it probably deserves your vote.

I think it is all very personal. OEDILF is a dictionary of words so many are not funny. I wrote one on Auschwitz. Many of them are just definitions or information about the words. However, my preference is a funny (or clever) limerick with a good meter and fun rhymes. I love limericks where the rhymes are something like the one we cited here before:

A wonderful bird is the pelican;
His beak can hold more than his belican.
He can hold in his beak
Enough food for a week,
Though I’m damned if I know how the helican!

But, others like perfect rhymes, and that's fine too.

Difficult choice for me too - there are some good ones there, but I have decided to vote for the outstanding creativity of #12. Only because the limerick also used backwards within it, to lend credence to the reason for spelling the place backwards.

"Reflection," too, now that you mention it...

Wow - I am proud of you, Greg. You are usually the perfect rhyme guy!

What about the rest of you? Vote please?! Even if you didn't send in one, please vote.

A wonderful bird is the pelican;
His beak can hold more than his belican.
He can hold in his beak
Enough food for a week,
Though I’m damned if I know how the helican!

Ah, the Ogden Nash school of poetry writing...bless his ever-lovin' soul, as Pogo would have said.

quote:

Originally posted by Kalleh:
Wow - I am proud of you, Greg. You are usually the perfect rhyme guy!

What about the rest of you? Vote please?! Even if you didn't send in one, please vote.

I did.

quote:

Originally posted by BobHale:

quote:

Originally posted by Kalleh:
Wow - I am proud of you, Greg. You are usually the perfect rhyme guy!

What about the rest of you? Vote please?! Even if you didn't send in one, please vote.

I did.

Me, too!

quote:

Ah, the Ogden Nash school of poetry writing...bless his ever-lovin' soul, as Pogo would have said.

Yes, it certainly sounds like a Nash limerick; however, it was written by Dixon Lanier Merritt, though often mistaken for Ogden Nash.

quote:

Originally posted by haberdasher:
A wonderful bird is the pelican;
His beak can hold more than his belican.
He can hold in his beak
Enough food for a week,
Though I’m damned if I know how the helican!

Wikipedia has an article on the pelican with a long list of references. Reference #125 is a link to "The case of the pelican limerick," in Louisiana Conservationist, 1958, written by Rex Laney. According to Laney the original version was

A wonderful bird is the pelican!
His bill will hold more than his belican
He can take in his beak
Food enough for a week.
Though I’m durned to see how the helican.

The Laney article tells how he had published the limerick in an article, saying the poem was anonymous. He later discovered the author was Dixon Lanier Merrit and he dashed off a letter to Mr Merritt apologizing for his mistake and asking for more details. Merritt responded, telling how he came to write the limerick and providing more details. If you're interested go to the the Wikipedia article and click on the link.

You are always so knowledgeable, Tinman.

We only have 6 votes - and a tie. How's about someone breaking the tie?

When the winner is declared, he/she can start a new limerick game. However, I am also going to gather some winning limericks of the year and post them for a vote. I decided the worst limerick of the year might be too depressing for the writer (which would likely be me!).

No, it would have been me, Kalleh, and I was looking forward to getting some votes

quote:

I am also going to gather some winning limericks of the year and post them for a vote

Hi Kalleh, To make sure everyone who contributed gets in on that (in case some didn't have any winners this year), why not ask people to send you what they think is their best one for the year too, and include them as well as the ones you select?

Sure. I'll choose some winners (not more than one per author) and ask people to send me their favorites, too. Good idea!

Any more votes? I'll give voting until Sunday and then will post the authors - and the winner.

I just voted

Congratulations to Bob! You're up next.

Hab was our runner up, though.

Here are the answers:

1. Tinman - no takers
2. Tinman - no takers
3. Tinman - no takers
4. Hab - 2 votes
5. Kalleh - no takers (crap!)
6. Greg - 1 vote
7. Bethree - no takers
8. Sattva - no takers
9. Sattva - no takers
10. Bob - our winner with 3 votes!
11. Bob - 1 vote
12. Hab - our out-of-the-box limerick with 2 votes + 2 votes for limerick #4 = 4 votes total

Hey, ladies. We got zero votes. What's up with that?

I'd just like to say that there is absolutely no truth to the rumour that I won because of Russian hackers helping me.

New one about to be posted.

And in case anyone is interested here is that code I wrote the solves the Tower of Hanoi puzzle
You can play it manually too, if you wish and can choose how many discs from 3 -7.

Greg, you got my vote. I looked up to see what the Tower of Hanoi was to understand the limerick.

The new word had just better not be Moscow, Bob.

quote:

Originally posted by Kalleh:
The new word had just better not be Moscow, Bob.

I thought it was SCRANTON !