Okay, it's time to cast your vote for your favo(u)rite Kallista limerick:

Question:
1
A randy young chick in Kallista
Has tucked in her jut* a thermistor**
You can see when she's hot
And on days when she's not
It tells you to visit her sister.

* Regional slang, pronounced "joot"

**https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thermistor

2
In gorgeous and hilly Kallista,
She met an engaging young mistah
While quite unassuming,
She thinks he is blooming -
Cuz he took her aside and he kissedah!

3
I dated a girl from Kallista.
I just couldn't help it, I kista.
But so loud! Couldn't stand
To be holding her hand
As she sang in the band Twisted Sista.

4
On a train to near Kallista
Singing, “Ain’t that Mr. Mister?”
With the radio
And my girl, you know
She's a one-tracked mind soul sister.

Inspired by Train’s “Hey, Soul Sister”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVpv8-5XWOI

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hey,_Soul_Sister

5
There is a most wonderful vista
From many a spot near Kallista,
And if coffee's your go
You also should know,
It's home to the odd good barista.

6
A fellow who came from Kallista
Was accused of fucking his sister
He said "It's not true
For the most that I do -
And with her consent - is to fist 'er."

7
A very odd bloke in Kallista
Goes sliding on rocks with his sister
They wear nothing at all
Now e's worn off one ball
An' 'er bum has a bloody big blister

8
A gal that I know from Kallista
Was stalked by a passionate Mister
She finally told 'im
[& then he did fold 'em]
You fool! I'm in love with my sister!

9
My girlfriend's not fond of Kallista,
Cause that's where in public I dissed 'er.
She took that bitter pill,
And forgave me until -
I got pissed 'n' made out with 'er sister!

10
A crazy old coot in Kallista
Once copied a Roman ballista
Targets often he'd choose
Of the biggest red 'roos
Till a stray bolt punctured his sista.

Choices:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

 

Oh, there are so many really good ones here. It's going to be difficult choosing.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: sattva,

What Sattva said! I picked one by the eeny-meeny-miney-moe method.

Well taking Bob's advice I have taken the liberty of having a vote. There is now a 4 way tie. There were 7 contestants in this game, so we should be getting at least 7 votes, and others like Shufitz and tinman, can also vote. There's quite a few very good entries here, so it shouldn't be too hard to find one you like.

Hi Folks,

It looks like 6 votes is all we're going to get, and we now have a leader. Do you want me to declare the results, or is somebody out there still making up their mind which one to vote for?

There were a lot of good ones - lots of "sister" rhymes.

Okay! Based on the lack of feedback, I am assuming nobody seems to care whether or not or when I declare the poll. So given we now have 7 votes, no doubt coming from the 7 players, spread pretty evenly across 6 of the 10 limericks, meaning only one limerick has more than one vote, I hereby declare Limerick #1 the winner!

Authors were:

#1: Geoff's very "blue" entry (actually the 1st one I received), 2 votes
#2: Kalleh's attempt to use Mister rather than sister, making it less likely to be "blue", 1 vote
#3: Hab using the "sister" rhyme, but keeping it clean, 1 vote
#4: Sattva another clean one with Sister and a nice theme but sadly no votes
#5: My attempt to go fully clean and based it on the town, surprised I got a vote.
#6: Bob thought it might be too "blue" and he was right as it got no votes, but deserved one
#7: Geoff being silly but he made somebody smile enough to vote for it
#8: Bethree using Mister and Sister but not going "blue" and sadly no votes
#9: my attempt to go "blue" with the sister rhyme, 1 vote
#10: Geoff creating a weird scenario, that probably deserved a vote for creativity, but none

So well done everyone and especially Geoff not only for winning but for being so prolific and producing 3 of them.

So when you're ready Geoff, pick a new place for us to visit "limerickly".

Oh and can any of you great wordsmiths tell me the reason why "blue" came to be used to mean "rude/dirty"?

The non-naughty ones made me smile the most for some reason. I voted for Hab's because, as someone with noise-damaged, now noise- intolerant ears, he really resonated with my own situation!

I'm surprised that onbody else used "ballista," the only word I can think of that rhymes non-rhotically with Kallista. Maybe no SCA members here? https://www.sca.org/

Well from my perspective, "ballista" is a homonym for Kallista, not a rhyme!

quote:

Oh and can any of you great wordsmiths tell me the reason why "blue" came to be used to mean "rude/dirty"?

Well here's AN answer but it looks decidedly suspect to me.

https://english.stackexchange....gin-of-blue-for-rude

I have no substantiation for it, but I've read somewhere that censors once used blue ink for noting offensive language. I wonder what Proofreader would have said?