I have included all the limericks received including the ones with the various wrong pronunciations.

Over to you...

1.
The Peripatetic Thespian's Lament

Nobody knows how to play Nan
And nobody knows how to say "naan."
No, Nanette is not Nellie
And this not Delhi.
I'm done. I shall go home to Weinan.

2.
Just because I am an old man
I had to move my school to Weinan
My place is a sty
No shops are nigh
But I'll manage the best that I can

3.
PRC TEACHIN’ BLUES

“Reduction in force: you can’t stay, man!”
So now they’ve transferred me to Weinan.
The flat is from hunger
I’m getting no younger
At 65, I’m off the pay-plan!

4.
I’ve got a new girlfriend in Weinan
She’s on the Chinese elder-age plan
Some say she’s too old
But her safe’s full of gold
And I don’t mind changing her bedpan.

5.
Let's ALL visit Bob in Weinan,
Though it might be a terrible plan.
There's plenty of lore
About that locked door,
Behind it's a dusty old man?

6.
I met a new girl down in Weinan
Her looks are not much you can trade on
She’s shaped like a mango
But hey, can she tango
And man, she’s got hips you can sway on.

7.
Transferred again! Now off to Weinan.
The shopping’s three miles off— Sing, Hey, non-
nie Nonnie, Hey, Nonnie—
My flat is not bonny
It’s something I’ll just have to pray on…

8.
A depressing young scholar from Weinan
Obtained a big truck with a crane on
And he seeded a cloud
For the sake of the crowd
Come to watch a parade just to rain on.

9.
He left from his home in Weinan
Seeking office in distant Tehran.
"For you ballots were cast?
And where is it? And last,
How'd you get there so quickly?" "I ran."

And one of my own... not included in the voting, just for fun

My boss called me and told me "Hey, man
You should never say 'can't', just say "can"
Let's make it quite plain, oh
You'll be over the rainbow*
Not Munchkinland**, no it's Weinan

*My previous school was Caihong Middle School. Caihong is Chinese for rainbow.
** As Oz scholars will understand, if I moved to Munchkinland, I'd be blue.

I have included all the limericks received including the ones with the various wrong pronunciations.

Limericks are wherever you find them….

I’ve included all limericks received
Trying very hard not to be peeved
Even those mispronounced
(Though they should have been bounced)
For i know you will not be deceived.

Lim'ricks, wherever you find 'em
Anonymous or maybe you've signed 'em
However you make 'em
I'll be kind and I'll take 'em
Whatever they're like, I don't mind 'em.

4

1

Ohhh, these were hard! Pronunciations and meter were sometimes off. But I'll take 4, like Geoff. I think I read them each about 10 times before selecting, though normally I know the first time through.

They almost all have imperfections of one kind or another, but then doesn't everything...

I think I'll throw in a last minute vote for # 6.

Hardly any votes this time around but the winner is number 4 from bethree5. Over to you fro a new place name
haberdasher

1.Got one vote from bethree5

The Peripatetic Thespian's Lament

Nobody knows how to play Nan
And nobody knows how to say "naan."
No, Nanette is not Nellie
And this not Delhi.
I'm done. I shall go home to Weinan.

tinman

2.
Just because I am an old man
I had to move my school to Weinan
My place is a sty
No shops are nigh
But I'll manage the best that I can

bethree5

3.
PRC TEACHIN’ BLUES

“Reduction in force: you can’t stay, man!”
So now they’ve transferred me to Weinan.
The flat is from hunger
I’m getting no younger
At 65, I’m off the pay-plan!

bethree5

4.Got two votes from Kalleh and Geoff

I’ve got a new girlfriend in Weinan
She’s on the Chinese elder-age plan
Some say she’s too old
But her safe’s full of gold
And I don’t mind changing her bedpan.

Kalleh

5.
Let's ALL visit Bob in Weinan,
Though it might be a terrible plan.
There's plenty of lore
About that locked door,
Behind it's a dusty old man?

bethree5

5.Got one vote from haberdasher

I met a new girl down in Weinan
Her looks are not much you can trade on
She’s shaped like a mango
But hey, can she tango
And man, she’s got hips you can sway on.

bethree5

7.
Transferred again! Now off to Weinan.
The shopping’s three miles off— Sing, Hey, non-
nie Nonnie, Hey, Nonnie—
My flat is not bonny
It’s something I’ll just have to pray on…

haberdasher

8.
A depressing young scholar from Weinan
Obtained a big truck with a crane on
And he seeded a cloud
For the sake of the crowd
Come to watch a parade just to rain on.

haberdasher

9.
He left from his home in Weinan
Seeking office in distant Tehran.
"For you ballots were cast?
And where is it? And last,
How'd you get there so quickly?" "I ran."

OK thanks all. Will come up with something in a day or two.

I did submit one, but after all the fuss about rhyming I deleted it.

quote:

Originally posted by Geoff:
I did submit one, but after all the fuss about rhyming I deleted it.

Now you have seen how much difficulty everyone else had, do you wish you hadn't deleted it?