1. If they live in a hovel in Hope
A couple in love'll elope,
But when they're out o' cash
They'll be back in a flash,
To their parents to grovel and grope.

2. When things get too stressful to cope,
There's nothing like visiting Hope.
It shows you, you see,
How bad things could be.
Will you visit a second time? Nope.

3. There was a young fellow of Hope
Who had an aversion to soap.
Though his smell was quite vile
He would say with a smile
I'm sure that my friends can all cope.

4. It's so long since I last had a grope
I'm downhearted and starting to mope
But I have to admit
That I simply won't quit
I'll just go on living in Hope.

5. My boyfriend said, "Let's go elope
In the cute little neighborhood, Hope!"
Rhode Island's a bore,
I'd like Mexico more!
So I looked at him and firmly said, "Nope!"

6. A depressive who’s also a dope
Tried to end it while bathing in Hope
‘Cruel world, my good-bye,’
He said with a sigh,
Then showered with soap on a rope.

7. The plaint of the hooker in Hope:
The biz is too scant, I can’t cope!
The old men are dyin’,
The young men ain’t buyin’,
And the guy on AD’s* just says, “nope.”
*AD = antidepressant

8. I've been spying on Faith through my 'scope
As she slowly undresses in Hope.
God, she stirs my desires
But I can't quench my fires.
It will hurt my selection as Pope.

9. A lustful soprano from Hope,
Sang "Let's Get It On" to the Pope.
And when the song ended,
The Pope recommended
She wash out her mouth with some soap.

Question:
I've revised the poll and added the missing items. Geoff says he has abandoned all hope, so will not be playing in this one.

Vote for one (only) in Column A. There is no Column B.

Choices:
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine

 

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,

Good grief, I forgot about this!

There's a line missing in 5. Is that by accident, or intentional?

Aw, my second one's not there, I preferred that one I was wondering that about number 5 too, since it has a closey-speech-marks but not an openy.

Difficult choice as always!

Yes surely Line 1 is missing from Limerick 5, it will be there that the "him" in Line 5 will be identified. I think Proof will have to reset this one, so no point voting until he has.

I was in a hurry when I copied those lims and didn't read all the extraneous comments, so I missed Stanley's "2nd limerick" statement. If I had noticed it, I would have asked where it was, since he didn't send it. I have no excuse for losing L5.

So I'll await Stanley's second, if he wants to submit it, and if Geoff has one in mind, he can enter his, too. I'll publish the corrected version on Friday.

Wednesday night. Geoff is out and Stanley did send me his lim but I, in my early onset Alzheimer's, missed it completely. The missing line in the other lim was a glitch in the software which for some reason deleted that line (because it was at the top of the page/ Who knows).

But the voting can now begin.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,

Read above. This is just to bring the new game up.

I love them! I selected two and had to go eeny meeny miny moe - but I finally voted for one.

Poor Geoff must stutter and mope
It seems he’s abandoned all hope
A poem he can’t mutter
(With mind in the gutter)
Now Geoff just feels like a dope

Too late now to submit this limerick variation on a very old joke...

Two nuns in a convent in Hope
Were bathing; said one, "where's the soap"
"Yes, it does", said the other
Superior mother
"If you've dropped it we'll just have to grope."

Oh, Bob, it's a good thing you didn't submit that or I'd have had 3 to choose from. I love it.

Need some more votes.

I did like this word.

He's practicing out of his scope,
The physician who's living in Hope.
Besides people, he sees
Sick cats, dogs and trees,
And he treats them with doses of dope!

We've had former Black-Eyed Peas man will.i.am in Aus for a few months as a judge/coach on our version of "The Voice", and according to him, "dope" seems to mean "really f...ing awesome", as in after an absolute knock-out singing performance he would say, "That was Dope, Man" and the female singer he was talking about would respond with "Thanks Will".

I tried to work that theme into a limerick for Hope but it didn't work out.

Are we ready to call this one? Any more votes?

I just saved you the trouble of splitting the tie.

Here are the results, which have been hidden in a tin can buried under my front porch along with our missing boarder.

Greg wrote the first and garnered one vote.
Stanley's #2 didn't strike a chord with the masses.
BobHale's #3 failed to make a mark, but
His number 4 got one vote.
Kalleh's #6
and Bethree5's #7 both finished out of the money.
Proof (for some unknown reason) managed to fool two people to vote for #8, and
Stanley won with #9, which was the entry I didn't include on the first go-round.

So it's now Stanley's turn. I hope he doesn't pick some multi-syllabic Aborigine word for an obscure hamlet in the Outback.

Congrats, Stanley! Let us know if you'll need help with the next game. You just decide on a venue and have people send you their submissions. The tricky part might be developing the poll for voting. If you need help with that, just ask.

And who wrote #5?

Yay! My alliterations finally took someone's fancy and cracked it for one vote, but nowhere near enough to win. Clearly to have a chance of winning this one you had to do a Pope limerick.

Woo!

Got somewhere in mind already, so I'll get right on it.

quote:

Originally posted by Kalleh:
Congrats, Stanley! Let us know if you'll need help with the next game. You just decide on a venue and have people send you their submissions. The tricky part might be developing the poll for voting. If you need help with that, just ask.

Should be OK, I successfully blundered my way through doing the Reading one already!