There once was a dandified swell
Who tumbled down into a well.
But a man heard him shout,
And at once pulled him out,
For his sentences savoured of -- Billingsgate.

jheem says, "The reader is supposed to think that Hell is the final word, but another is supplied, more decorous. It's a fun poetic device, but I cannot remember what it's called.

Surely there must be more examples?

Miss Suzy had a steam boat
The steamboat had a bell,
Miss Suzy went to heaven and the
Steamboat went to...

Hello operator
Please give me number nine
And if you disconnect me
I will chop off your be...

.. hind the 'fridgerator
There was a piece of glass
Miss Suzy sat upon it
And she cut her little...

Ask me no more questions
I'll tell you no more lies
The boys are in the bathroom
Pulling down their...

Flies are in the meadow
The bees are in the park
Miss Suzy and her boyfriend
Are kissing in the...

Dark is like a movie
A movie's like a show
A show is like a tv set
And that is all I know.

I've responded in the other thread. The lyrics to When Lulu's Gone would also be apropos here. The lyrics for this folk song are quite varied. Some downright obscene, while the early Roy Acuff version I heard was just slightly blue.

Anyone remember "Sweet Violets"? Circa 1952 on the Hit Parade, and I'm sure around a lot before that:

There once was a farmer who took a young Miss
In back of the barn where he gave her a...

Lecture on horses and chickens and eggs
And told her she had the most beautiful...

Manners that suited a girl of her charms,
A girl who he'd like to take into his...

Kitchen...

and on. Shame on me, I'm forgetting the continuation, but you get the idea.

Probably available on the Net without too much difficulty...

A double dactyl Karl and I did a while back could be altered to illustrate this. Actually, when we wrote it we discussed whether to use this technique or the 'asterisks over most of the letters' one. We picked the latter, but I'm still undecided as to which is best. This certainly makes it easier when reciting it to someone.

Webslinger Slebwinger
J Jonah Jameson
Wrote in his paper that
Spiderman sucked.

Worry not fans, 'bout this
Megalomaniac
Wait 'till it's him in need,
Then he'll be...in trouble.

quote:

---

Originally posted by arnie:
Sweet Violets

---

I know this song! I sort of have a fascination with bawdy songs - collect them, if you will. Anyone else like them? Anyone know of a good source for them? Please let me know - I would love to find some new (maybe Brit) artists who have CDs of or including good, rowdy bawdy songs.

I remember, many moons ago, when I was a cheerleader, there was a cheer that went something like:

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7,
All good children go to heaven,
When they get there, they will yell:
Johnstown, Johnstown, go to......

Rickety Rickety Russ,
We're not allowed to cuss,
But nevertheless,
You've got to confess,
There isn't a team like us!

Dirty songs, did you say? Here's the chorus; for verses use any limerick you like, degree of blueness depending only on the preference (and degree of inebriation) of the singer.

Anyone remember this one? Maybe from camp?

"...
[Limerick (n)]

Ay, ay, ay ay,
In China they do it for Chili !
So here comes another one
That's worse than the other one
And waltz me around again, Willie !

[limerick (n+1)]
..."

repeat ad lib.

Chorus is sung to the tune of Chapanecas, by the way.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Caterwauller:
Anyone know of a good source for them? Please let me know - I would love to find some new (maybe Brit) artists who have CDs of or including good, rowdy bawdy songs.

---

Have you heard much Judge Dread, CW? If not, it sounds right up your street! He did a lot of bawdy (mostly reggae) stuff in the 70s and 80s - one of my schoolfriends introduced me to him when we were about 12, and we used to giggle at the naughty nursery rhymes etc. I haven't heard any of it for years, and looking at the website I just posted, was surprised to see just how much he released. And that he's dead.

I can't speak for all of it, but the stuff I heard was more 'Carry On' saucy than genuinely crude, but it's still better to stay away if offended by that sort of stuff.

A not-exact example I can remember is below in white (I had to put it in a different post since white doesn't work on a grey background!):

There was a grand old Duke of York,
He had 10,000 men,
And if he'd had the energy,
He'd have had them all again...

OOOooooooooooh - thanks for the lead, Cat. I"ll look into that. Judge Dread's name sound familiar - like maybe he was on Dr. Demento's show. I'll do more research.

Of course, there's always the hidden words (not so hidden these days!) in song lyrics. "Louie Louie" comes to mind. I am sure there are others.

quote:

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"Louie Louie" comes to mind. I am sure there are others.

---

You m,ean to say people who have minds listened to "Louie Louie?" BTW, that song - if that's what you call it - came from a group of kids who lived not twenty minutes from here.


Of all the fishes in the sea,

The funniest is the bass

He climbs up on tall seaweed trees,

And slides down on his

Hands and knees

Ogden Nash

I remember this old cheer:

Rah, rah, ree!
Kick him in the knee.
Rah, rah, rass!
Kick him in the other knee.

Tinman

I think I led a sheltered childhood. I only remember

"100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall".. how sad