Here are the candidates, in no particular order:
_________________________

A.
A smart-arse I met once in Spencer
Was proudly a member of MENSA,
But I say pooh-hoo
To his MENSA IQ -
His life skills could hardly be denser!
_________________________
B.
I met a cute fellow from Spencer,
Who couldn't have been any denser -
Blockheaded, obtuse,
His language so loose
That most of his sex talk I'd censor.
_________________________
C.
Female quarterback playing for Spencer
Had developed a Blind-Side-Rush sensor
And thusly equipped
Such good passes she flipped
'Twas a difficult thing to defense her.
_________________________
D.
There was an old lady from Spencer
A movie critic and censor
She loved “Gone with the Wind,”
Until the end.
When Rhett said “damn,” it incensed her.
_________________________
E.
“I heard monks make the beer here in Spencer”.
“Please don’t shout! My head throbs and seems denser.
I will go to their store
After Mass, that’s for sure
But buy jam, beer be damned, I must censor.”
_________________________
F.
There was a young man from Spencer
He loved the charming Miss Menser.
He wanted to bed her,
But not to wed her.
Somehow he couldn’t convince her.
_________________________
G.
A pharmacist living in Spenser
Said, my job is a tough one and hence, sir
Because of the stress
My whole life is a mess
And I’m a much tenser dispenser.
_________________________
H.
A silly old codger's in Spencer
(Look as you will, there's no denser)
The goofy galoot
Struck a match, passed a TOOT!
Fried a glute and a lateral tensor
_________________________
I.
The sinister spinster from Spencer
Was a brutal and deadly fencer.
She said to her foe,
“Let’s give it a go.”
Then she calmly started to mince her.
_________________________
J.
The monks at the abbey in Spencer,
Think twice, before you do censor.
You’ll not get their wine,
Or beer that’s so fine.
Just jam, is all you’ll get hence, sir!
_________________________
K.
An evil old priest up in Spenser
Loves swinging a really big censer
It belches thick smoke;
The congregants choke
It's like purgatory but denser

_________________________

And that's the lot, folks! Now it's time to vote for your favorite(s), with commentary if you want to share your insights or your instincts...

A, B, C and G all appeal to me in some ways. A works well in a British dialect, but lacks a punchy conclusion. B has a risqué quality that appeals to me, and is structured well, I think. C seems awkward at first but recovers well, but the subject seems uninteresting to this non-sports sort. G flows well for me and is amusing.
Overall I'll go for G if for no other reason but that it uses rhymes nobody else used. B is my runner-up.

Nice analysis, Geoff. It has been so long that I forgot which one mine was and almost picked it. I liked A & G (besides my own). Unlike Geoff, I like the conclusion of A - so often the mensa types just don't have emotional intelligence and life skills. G appeals partly because of my nursing background and working with pharmacists, but also because I love "hence, sir." I am wondering, did the person who wrote G also write J?

My favorite is A.

They're all pretty good this time round. I had difficulty picking the best but decided on K.

The trouble with G is that Line 5 is not a rhyme but a homonym for Spencer, meaning from my viewpoint it is like the Edward Lear limericks, where Line 1 and Line 5 end with the same word.

quote:

a really big censer

Sorry folks but I am having trouble working out what one of these is? Anyone care to illuminate me?

quote:

Originally posted by Greg S:

quote:

a really big censer

Sorry folks but I am having trouble working out what one of these is? Anyone care to illuminate me?

It is one of those things that the priest swings that have incense in it. It is metal and on a chain.

quote:

Originally posted by Kalleh:
(besides my own). Unlike Geoff, I like the conclusion of A - so often the mensa types just don't have emotional intelligence and life skills.

Among men I agree, but women usually seem OK, I've found.

I didn't realize there was no poll form till now. I am voting for A, along with Kalleh.

Someone's going to have to do some work tallying all this up...

I'll go for K

the candidates, in no particular order:
_________________________

A.
A smart-arse I met once in Spencer
Was proudly a member of MENSA,
But I say pooh-hoo
To his MENSA IQ -
His life skills could hardly be denser!
_________________________
B.
I met a cute fellow from Spencer,
Who couldn't have been any denser -
Blockheaded, obtuse,
His language so loose
That most of his sex talk I'd censor.
_________________________
C.
Female quarterback playing for Spencer
Had developed a Blind-Side-Rush sensor
And thusly equipped
Such good passes she flipped
'Twas a difficult thing to defense her.
_________________________
D.
There was an old lady from Spencer
A movie critic and censor
She loved “Gone with the Wind,”
Until the end.
When Rhett said “damn,” it incensed her.
_________________________
E.
“I heard monks make the beer here in Spencer”.
“Please don’t shout! My head throbs and seems denser.
I will go to their store
After Mass, that’s for sure
But buy jam, beer be damned, I must censor.”
_________________________
F.
There was a young man from Spencer
He loved the charming Miss Menser.
He wanted to bed her,
But not to wed her.
Somehow he couldn’t convince her.
_________________________
G.
A pharmacist living in Spenser
Said, my job is a tough one and hence, sir
Because of the stress
My whole life is a mess
And I’m a much tenser dispenser.
_________________________
H.
A silly old codger's in Spencer
(Look as you will, there's no denser)
The goofy galoot
Struck a match, passed a TOOT!
Fried a glute and a lateral tensor
_________________________
I.
The sinister spinster from Spencer
Was a brutal and deadly fencer.
She said to her foe,
“Let’s give it a go.”
Then she calmly started to mince her.
_________________________
J.
The monks at the abbey in Spencer,
Think twice, before you do censor.
You’ll not get their wine,
Or beer that’s so fine.
Just jam, is all you’ll get hence, sir!
_________________________
K.
An evil old priest up in Spenser
Loves swinging a really big censer
It belches thick smoke;
The congregants choke
It's like purgatory but denser
_________________________
L.
I once met a lady in Spencer
And hopefully this won't incense 'er -
She was really quite smart,
But when she played the tart
You'd swear that no-one could be denser.

Mea culpa. And it wasn't even a late entry, but it got omitted from my list, so I've put it back in. If the verse meets with your approval, please feel free to re-cast your vote.

That does throw my voting askew, Hab! I'll change my vote to L, with the others as runners-up.

Overall, a good effort all around, I feel, but that's coming from someone who can't rhyme. Take it for what it's worth.

I like quite a few of them, and many of them work on the obvious rhyme "denser" (as did mine), but the one of those that tickled my fancy most was H.

By the way, I have tried to make the point about homophones a few times, and I often get hit with the criticism that it's just meant to be a fun game, and that I should go off and join OEDILF if I want to be so technical. Well I am here because it is fun and I do not really want to be a pain in everyone's butt, but here's the thing:

The problem with using dispenser
As a rhyme for the township of Spencer,
Is like rhyming to die
With the late Lady Di -
But I wouldn't want to diss Spencer.

No rhymes, only homophones, therefore not a limerick, in my book.

While I agree that a limerick is BETTER without homophones and with a decent punchline I'd make the following points

1. A Learian limerick is, nonetheless, still a limerick
2. Some homophones are more egregious than others - I didn't even notice the homophone in the limerick in question until you pointed it out.
3. In any case it would easily be "fixed", if it needs to be, by changing the last line to "And so this dispenser's much tenser"

quote:

A Learian limerick is, nonetheless, still a limerick

Indeed it is, I just don't like them, they seem lazy to me. But who am I to argue, Lear made money out of his limericks, and I'm certainly never going to do that.

quote:

In any case it would easily be "fixed", if it needs to be, by changing the last line to "And so this dispenser's much tenser"

It would have come close to getting my vote if it had been written that way.

Ah, Bob is workshopping! I'll stick with my A.

quote:

Originally posted by Kalleh:
Ah, Bob is workshopping! I'll stick with my A

(My wife says to grab the B+ and run...)

I like H, particularly for its internal rhymes and also for accurate meter and rhyming (though there's something appealing about D and F, almost Ogden Nash-y).

Summarizing: A and K have two votes each, and G has three Runner-ups, if my arithmetic is correct. I'll cast a tiebreaker vote for A because of the technical component: the scansion is more perfect.

I note a relative paucity of rhymes for "Spencer":
censor |||| / sensor |
denser ||||
Menser/MENSA/mincer |||
hence, sir ||
fencer/defense 'er
tensor
dispenser
incensed 'er
convince 'er
that I hadn't anticipated at first glance when hearing. Live and learn.

So. A is Greg's brainchild - can you choose our next destination? Unless yhou think we should wait a little while.

Apparently I am almost invisible down here in Aus, where you not only forgot to put my second limerick in (even though it was the 3rd one you got) until I reminded you, you also forgot to account for my vote for H, so with your vote, it also got 2, therefore it also tied with A & K, and since you voted for it, one would then think you would give your casting Vote to H rather than A. So am I still the winner (which I am happy to be) or is it Geoff for H?

quote:

incensed 'er

No that doesn't rhyme, the one I used (incense 'er) however did.

Where is our next destination, Greg?

I take it from that Geoff, you have taken the decision about whether or not you should have won, out of Hab's hands?

If so I have a place in mind, being the suburb of Melbourne I moved to last December ... And I have already written the winner! I am getting cocky now, not having received a single votes for about 8 months, I put in 2 this time and they both voted?

I defer to you because you wrote the superior limerick.

See here.

I like they way you have had a joke at your own expense Hab, by adding yet another thread to this game.

I was going to say you could have solved the problems by sticking with convention and having a Poll, at least my vote for Geoff's H would have counted, but ironically it wouldn't have helped, because you would have stuck to the convention of not voting till the end, thereby depriving H of your vote, so it still would have been a two-way tie between A and K.

I propose a new convention though. The setter of the game casts their vote without fear or favour immediately on publication of the Poll. They already know all the limericks have read them as they came in, and set up the Poll so they already know their favourite. Then if their favourite and the one they voted for before anybody else did is in a tie for the win, it is automatically the winner and if it isn't they decide the winner amongst those that did tie. That way Geoff would have won.

Anyway, I will start a new Poll now and I will adopt my proposed new convention, and then we will see if people like it. Even though we are apparently not playing for the usual sheep-station, with Hab having proposed that the next game prize be given to Geoff regardless who wins my game. By the way is the expression "We're not playing for sheep-tsations used outside Aus?

Hmm.. not playing for the usual sheep-station?

Anyway, great game everybody. I was stumped by Spencer, & majorly distracted by upcoming concerts. Bach motets in April, Mozart Requiem in May!

Tonight!

Good for you! I love the Mozart Requiem; it was the first piece of serious choral music I ever sang.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: haberdasher,

Good stuff! I'd love to hear them.

It's paradoxical that I, an atheist, must admit that religions have been responsible for much of the most magnificent art. There is that torture, murder, brainwashing, castration (for singers, now banned) and environmental destruction aspect, but ya gotta take the good with the bad.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Geoff,