1.
She chose a shirt made in Taiwan
That she never got to try on:
in the dressing room cubby
“Surprise! said her hubby
She grinned as she stripped,”Why,Don!”

2.
A doctor I know in Taiwan
In surgery gloves he will don.
But infections are often,
Some lead to a coffin -
Cuz hands are not washed in the john!

3.
I once met a man from Taiwan
Who harked from an era bygone
He claimed to have seen
A mermaid-y queen
A-riding atop a leviathan

4.
Long ago in a bar in Taiwan
I encountered the great Otto Hahn
And we argued with forks
Whether tangled-up quarks
Could be rendered both off, or both on.

5
He traveled by ship to Taiwan.
A pirate he stumbled upon.
This cutie patootie
Took claim to her booty, ---
His heart, with no sword ever drawn.

6
Baseball is played in Taiwan
But never by Pee wee or Don
It's just by the locals
From moguls to yokels
And they never knew Warren Spahn

7
I once took a trip to Taiwan
And met a man naked and wan
When asked what's the matter
He said a mad hatter
Had stolen the clothes he had on

8.
Said a Mongol who went to Taiwan
In search of his foe, Genghis Khan,
"I know he's a fighter 
And writer, the blighter,
But now I can't find him. He's gone!"

9.
A good-looking girl from Taiwan
Once wed an old man from Saigon
He thought there's none finer 
But learned her vagina
Was shared with Haosen and Antoine

Question:
Which one do you like?

Choices:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9

 

This message has been edited. Last edited by: BobHale,

Wow! Impressive selection! Well done, all!

I also like half-a-dozen others, imperfections and all, but 6 touches my grew-up-in-New-York-in-the-Fifties heart :-)

Whoa - that snuck up on me, I had a couple in progress one using bygone, and another using Saigon, but was struggling to finish them off. I will vote though and at first glance there's a good chance I might have to pick one of the two that used the rhymes I was working with.

Actually the Saigon one made me laugh more, so I gave it my vote.

One and two both made me laugh, and three was delightfully whimsical, but I voted for the scholarly number four. I'm not sure whether Hahn ever heard of a quark, as I think they were before his time. Still, it got my vote. All the rest were fine entries too!

I thought quantum entanglement was what Einstein called “spooky” and expressed reservations about, so the timeline can’t be that far off…

quote:

Originally posted by haberdasher:
the timeline can’t be that far off…

I'm guessing you're right. I thought Einstein said, "spooky" after meeting one of my ancestors.

Deleted - duplication

Only three votes? Come on people. Not voting leads to Donald Trump, Brexit and (and I am not making this up) a Police Commissioner being elected who polled fewer votes than "spoiled ballot paper"*.

We have only ourselves to blame.

Vote early and vote often!


* in 2012 in the UK. It was the first time the post of Police Commissioner had existed. it had been made into a political post rather than a policing one and nobody wanted it - not the public and not the police - other than the Government who proposed it for entirely party political reasons. One polling station managed a remarkable 0% turnout.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: BobHale,

The Bluffing Game is faring no better.

Sorry, we Yanks get distracted by the holiday. You know, the “fireworks”: Trump as barker at his DC campaign circus - w/ bonus! military eqpt on display! [formerly known as the Capitol July 4th celebration], media catfight among Pelosi & the Four Horsewomen, et al. Some folks travel. Even my hubby’s workaholic colleagues are in a stupor: today he found an already-postponed-from-Friday conference call postponed until tomorrow...

This wordcrafting lim’er has gone
From all-nighters pulled on Taiwan
To comatose idjit
Who can’t lift a digit
To vote or see who the hell won.

I think you just did! Good!

I think, however, that you've ODed on Gilbert and Sillyvan!

Hey, Bob, did B35 win? Did anyone?

Still just four votes but there is a leader. Anyone else want to vote before I declare a winner?

I voted for #6 - how could I not, coming from Wisconsin and all! I thought they were all quite creative - this is one of our best showings of late.

Let's not fret about the numbers here - we can still have fun.

You play baseball in Wisconsin? You live in Chicago, and they have a baseball team, I believe - but WISCONSIN???

I do believe your youth is showing. Don Newcombe and PeeWee Reese played for the Dodgers in Brooklyn, but Warren Spahn pitched for the Braves before there was an Atlanta team (but after Boston, sadly).

IIRC.

Oh, yeah, I plumb forgot about Milwaukee. Y'see, I'm not a beizbol afficianado, as they say in Puerto Rico, I just think of Wisconsin as the place where they have cheesy beer. I did remember hearing all those names in my youth, hence the limerick. Oops, I just outed myself!

I may as well 'fess up and admit to seven and nine too. Now that you know, I doubt that Bob would mind if you were to change your vote.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Geoff,

Yep, Hab is right. I was a huge Milwaukee Braves fan. Here is a story on how huge:

When I was in 4th grade I led efforts to hold a bake sale so we could attend a Milwaukee Braves game for our spring field trip. All went well - until my stupid teacher stored the money in her unlocked desk drawer. The next morning, all the money was gone - stolen. (To this day, I am sure it was that mean and hateful Jim Keene!). So, we were told, "No baseball game!" I was crushed - so I wrote a letter to Fred Haney, who was then the manager of the team and told him the sad story. He sent us 32 tickets and we were all were able to go. I never did figure out who paid for the bus, but the game was wonderful.

quote:

Originally posted by haberdasher:
I do believe your youth is showing. Don Newcombe

Duhhh... I was thinking of Don Drysdale! Or was that Don Clydesdale, a horse from a Milwaukie brewery?

Kalleh, that's a great story! Not being a follower of the game, I can honestly say I don't remember of a team called the Milwaukee Braves! And why did the Dodgers get to keep that name when they moved to Lost Angles?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Geoff,

At the moment there are two limericks this tied for first place and I can’t cast my vote because they are the two that I don’t understand.

This is where I think GregS's opinion makes a lot of sense. You should got 2 votes (if needed) as the previous winner, one up front, and then one to break a tie if there is one. If you chose one that already has a vote besides the two that are tied, you could break the tie. However, if you chose one that didn't have a vote, you'd still be in a pickle.

The other thing you could do is have a run-off. Vote for whichever one you like and then let everyone vote on the ones that are tied. I don't think you should have to vote for limericks you don't understand, or even worse, don't like. This could be a way for you to abstain from voting between two choices that might be about equally unappealing to you. This is just my take on things.

I am still unclear as to why there are only 6 votes, one of them is mine and I don't have a limerick in the game, so that means only 5 competitors have voted, and it seems like there were probably more than 5 entrants, so perhaps one or 2 others are abstaining. But perhaps your non-vote Bob, is the only abstention. If you did cast a normal vote, maybe you would vote for one of the ones that only has one vote at this stage, then it would be a 3-way tie, and you could then use your casting vote to declare that one the winner.

However since I'm not in the game I can at least explain No. 9 to you. So the old geezer from Saigon has married a hot chick from Taiwan, and he's over the moon that he's "punched significantly above his weight", until he discovers that she's got a couple of "presumably" younger men that she has regular sex with as well, and that she is basically just a gold digger. At least that was my take on it and why it made me laugh.

I assumed that the two names had more significance than that. Ditto with the name in the other one I don't understand. It looks as if it ought to mean something to someone but it means nothing to me.

I didn't get the reference, either. I could have looked it up, but didn't.

All were famous baseball players in the middle of the 20th Century. Not so much nowadays, unless you're Haberdasher.

As for Haosen and Antoine, "Haosen" is a Chinese name, and they speak Chinese in Taiwan. "Antoine" is a French name, and Viet Nam used to be French Indochina. So, you see, the woman was being "ecumenical" with her favors.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Geoff,

Here they are again with their authors.

As six and nine were both submitted by Geoff my casting vote isn't actually needed. I hereby declare that Geoff has tied with Geoff.

1.bethree5

She chose a shirt made in Taiwan
That she never got to try on:
in the dressing room cubby
“Surprise! said her hubby
She grinned as she stripped,”Why,Don!”

2.Kalleh

A doctor I know in Taiwan
In surgery gloves he will don.
But infections are often,
Some lead to a coffin -
Cuz hands are not washed in the john!

3.bethree5

I once met a man from Taiwan
Who harked from an era bygone
He claimed to have seen
A mermaid-y queen
A-riding atop a leviathan

4.haberdasher

Long ago in a bar in Taiwan
I encountered the great Otto Hahn
And we argued with forks
Whether tangled-up quarks
Could be rendered both off, or both on.

5 sattva

He traveled by ship to Taiwan.
A pirate he stumbled upon.
This cutie patootie
Took claim to her booty, ---
His heart, with no sword ever drawn.

6 Geoff

Baseball is played in Taiwan
But never by Pee wee or Don
It's just by the locals
From moguls to yokels
And they never knew Warren Spahn

7 Geoff

I once took a trip to Taiwan
And met a man naked and wan
When asked what's the matter
He said a mad hatter
Had stolen the clothes he had on

8.haberdasher

Said a Mongol who went to Taiwan
In search of his foe, Genghis Khan,
"I know he's a fighter 
And writer, the blighter,
But now I can't find him. He's gone!"

9.Geoff

A good-looking girl from Taiwan
Once wed an old man from Saigon
He thought there's none finer 
But learned her vagina
Was shared with Haosen and Antoine

I voted for Haberdasher's "quarky" one.

Sattva, you've earned a chance to pick the next destination. Tell us all where to go! While you're thinking about it, it'll give b35 time to get her clothes back on and Kalleh time to wash her hands in clean water!

Damn, you were all SOOOOO good!

Six and nine are tied. Both of them are by you, Geoff. I am still at one vote for my entire history of limerick postings. LOL By the way, I voted for #7, which was also by you, Geoff! You are definitely on a winning streak with your entries on this limerick game.

quote:

Originally posted by sattva:
I am still at one vote for my entire history of limerick postings.

Except for Kalleh, everyone else has won many times, and you've clearly upped your game, so please pick a place as a reward for such exceptional improvement!

Kalleh, you've got to be frustrated! Any other time yours would have been the winner, but everyone else hit home runs too. (Another baseball reference, Bob)

I've won before, Geoff. I just like to tease about it. Anyway, I want to win fair and square.

I'll choose since mine didn't get a vote anyway - Geoff you are up! I selfishly choose it because of Warren Spahn - look at that schnoz!

Sure you have. And Bethree5 has won many times, as have Haberdasher and Bob.

Because Sattva has imprived her game so much, I'd like to have her pick the next location.
Sattva? Oh, Saaaaatvaaaaa... Where are youuuuu?

Yes, Sattva - you are up!

quote:

Originally posted by Kalleh:
I've won before, Geoff. I just like to tease about it. Anyway, I want to win fair and square.

Geoff, although I appreciate the offer of choosing the next limerick location. Like Kalleh, I want to win fair and square. The ball is back in your court.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: sattva,

Good game, all! I laughed & laughed, reading them all again.

Footnote on one of mine: I double-checked "leviathan," as I'd never heard it aloud. Oops. I'd been [mentally] putting "the accent on the wrong syl-LAH-ble," as my Mom used to say. So it was submitted under "Aussie" pronunciation rules - "TAI-wan."

OK, you asked for it. I'll start a new game, but you ain't gonna get no steenkin' poll!