Yes, it's also a town. And, as you can see, it will be a challenge. If it makes you feel any better, I expect that the difficulty of judging your submissions will exceed the difficulty of writing them.

Send entries by PM, by 11:59 pm (the other pm) Tuesday 16 June.

Good luck, and Goshspeed.

You know, it's funny things you find yourself saying on this website...

I have submitted my Dildo entry.

I'll send one later but a question occurs to me. How on Earth would you google that and gate hits for the town?

I Googled for "dildo AND town" (without the quotes) and nine out of the first ten hits listed were for the town.

In honour of our much-missed friend jerry I remembered this posting.

dildo.

I have, so far, one limerick each from Proofreader and Stanley. I also have two I wrote myself to verify that it can be done.

Though it has been the case in the past, the matter doesn't appear to be settled definitively so I'll not be too much of a stickler on which A-rhyme position the place name appears in. (It is my understanding, however, that the place name is expected to appear at the end of Line 1.)

Keep them coming.

The name has to appear at the end of an A-rhyme line, not necessarily L1.

I'll take that to be a definitive settlement. Thank you.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: David Franks,

So far I have only two entries in this game. I'm sure this magnificent group can do better than that.

I will try but I am still catching up, having been in Dubai for a week.

I've sent a couple.

They're not very good though.

I'll get one to you tomorrow. Nice word!

We aim to please.

I sent one - it might be late. I'm not sure when 11.59 on Tuesday is - it's 11.39 on Wed here.

quote:

Originally posted by David Franks:
We aim to please.

With a dildo?

So it would seem.

The 11:59 pm refers to Central Daylight Time, which I neglected to state for the benefit of our international waiters-until-the-last-minute. I'll probably not get to the analysis and evaluation phases of the ordeal until tomorrow, in case a few more entries are thrust in my direction.

For purposes of synchronizing the chronometers, the deadline is about three hours twelve minutes away as of the time of this post.

I have submissions from Stanley (2), Proofreader, Bob Hale (2), Richard English and stella.

Thank you.

I've sent #2

Was that Newfie town named for the sex aid
That women might use when they get laid?
Do they use that sex toy
So no girl needs a boy,
Or do Newfie girls like to be man-made?

Though one writer won't, others will "D'oh!"
When we see what each poet could build--Oh,
Ye seekers of fame,
Using naught but the name
Of the odd little village of Dildo!

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Richard English submits a surprise:
A druggy confection that plies
The absurd. (Reminiscing?)
The only thing missing:
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

A baker who used an old dildo,
To stuff and then subsequently grill dough,
Would use that to bake
A narcotic cake
To sell as a kind of a thrill dough.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

BobHale sent in two, as you'll note,
Fully rhyming the first. Then he wrote
One with half-rhymes to boot.
He's perhaps too astute
To write on (quote) Dildo (unquote).

In Newfoundland, a baker in Dildo,
Was really remarkably skilled. "Oh!",
He cried, "I've made cakes
Without any mistakes,
Except what I use when I fill dough"

There's a tow in Newfoundland you will know
Where some tourists even now still go
And stay just one night
Filled with passion's delight
So they can say, "Did it in Dildo!"

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

With a time-out to cast an aspersion
On the choice for this limerick excursion,
We have Stanley's, which fosters
The shortest of rosters
Of place names implying perversion.

Your choice of place this week, I’m betting,
Is moderator and admin upsetting.
Fun it may be,
To a certain degree,
But let’s hope that it isn’t trend-setting.

But if the standard here will go downhill so,
Just think of the places we will go:
Phuket and Fort Dick,
Two Twatts and French Lick,
Mianus and, of course, Dildo.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

From stella, we almost got smut:
A buck who was stuck in a rut,
And "hump" and "rump" too,
But as porn, it won't do,
For we're missing a ruminant slut.

A buck in the hills above Dildo
Was looking for luck with a l’il doe.
He hankered a hump
With a ruminant rump,
Now he’s down in the dumps - he got nil doe.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

From Proofreader, two, and in deference,
Displayed in his order of preference.
There is hunting and porn,
But withhold all your scorn--
Think a bachelor weekend, for reference.

It’s OK, if you’re hunting, to kill doe
Or to shoot off your hunting mate's l'il toe.
But townfolk think it lewdish
(Since they’re very prudish)
To sell any sex toys in Dildo

A porn star named Bill Doe from Dildo
Said “Porn dough is green and it’s still dough.
And I’m not some porn bum
Since I’m careful to come
Only when my fair partner’s fulfilled --- OOOOOHHH!

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Now, the winner of limerick glory:
(Please don't think the result's a priori):
This week's winner is stella,
Beneath the umbrella
Of rhyme, meter, scansion and story.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

In the vein of Too Much Information, here are the test limericks I wrote:

In the Newfoundland village of Dildo,
They don't call City Hall the Cabildo,
And they cache cold, hard cash
In the winter: they stash
It outdoors, for the climate will chill dough.

Some people who live up in Dildo
Spend the wintertime less than fulfilled. Oh,
All the snowdrifts are deep,
And excitement's not cheap,
So they need lots of getting-a-thrill dough.

Let's do this again sometime.

I’m indebted to you, David Franks,
For selecting my piece from the ranks.
Though its level of porn
Made the readership yawn,
Still you named it the prize-winner - thanks!

I'm pondering the next destination and thinking that we haven't been to a food festival in a while ...

I guess Dildo didn't count.

Oh, heck. I missed out. My little nieces were here this week, and we've been sightseeing non-stop. Those little 9 & 10 year olds are energetic!

Sounds like you had fun, Kalleh!

I meant to comment on David’s impressive judging of the Dildo competition in limerick form. I thought that it was quite masterful and as much fun reading as were the entries.

Next lim comp on the way!