Please write your limericks on Limerick and send them to me via PM. I love fun limericks with meter that works (an extra/missing syllable every so often is fine as long at it works), creative rhymes (which this will have to be anyway) are great. Have fun with it! I can see the wordplay already...

Well, I have one submission so far...Jerry's.

Are you all going to let him win with no competition? I have to say, it's a good one, though!

By the way, some pronounce it lim-rick...so using it that way you could have some rhymes, couldn't you? I don't think it's that hard.

I am working on it - and I would never pronounce it "Limrick" normally - but might have to for this competition.

So, you pronounce it: lim-er-ick? Almost everyone I know says it lim-rick. I'd especially expect that pronunciation from the British because of their pronunciation of words like "military."

However, I will surely be free and easy in the judging of the rhymes with this one because it is hard. I rather regret using it because I only have 2 submissions so far.

Come, come, you talented Wordcrafters. Get on it!

I'll get one to you soon. And BTW I'm with the "Limrick" pronunciation, well almost, the middl "uh" is so short as to be not worth counting as a syllable.

Illinois Governor Rod
Seemed to think himself smarter than God
His hair at the least
Hid the Mark of the Beast
A coverup no one thought odd.

FWIW, the Irish themselves pronounce the name of the city "Limrick".

There, you have it from the expert.

Now to get everyone started because I need submissions:

Rhymes for lim include: whim, vim, trim, Tim, Swim, slim, skim, him, rim, prim, limb Kim, Jim, grim, hymn, brim, dim, gym, etc.

Rhymes for rick include: Dick, pick, sick, Nick or nick, Mick, brick, thick, click, lick, prick, slick, chick, click, kick, hick, frick, quick, stick, tick or tic, wick.

And that's just the one-syllable rhymes. So there is plenty of ammunition for a darned good limerick, especially an off-color one!

So, come one; come all. Send me a limerick on Limerick!

Welcome BobFSez. Join our game. Just send me a PM with a submission for our game. It needs to address the city of Limerick.

quote:

whim, vim, trim, Tim, Swim, slim, skim, him, rim, prim, limb Kim, Jim, grim, hymn, brim, dim, gym

quim

In fact, that reminds me. .. .

Bob, will you be entering one?

I am afraid this game has been a bit of a fizzle. Perhaps people didn't like the word.

yes, it's only a combination of laziness and forgetfulness that have prevented me so far. I've been late to the party in most of the recent games.

Well, we're getting there. It hasn't been easy, and now I am about to put up a Bluffing Game word.

No rest for the wicked...

Sorry I haven't joined in this time, Kalleh. My Mum came to stay at Christmas and fell and fractured her shoulder and since then she's decided to stop eating. I just can't seem to get my head into limericks at the moment. Hopefully next round.

Oh, I am sorry, Stella. I surely understand. I hope she starts eating again.

I've gotten a few more now. The deadline is Thursday evening, and I'll post the winner on Friday.

No more? I'll post them tomorrow night.

JEB RALTAR VISiTS LIMERICK

So Jeb Raltar, the guy in this ode,
Was in Limerick, a long way he rode.
He was letting a Gaelic
(This isn’t a fey trick)
Young lassie make his thing explode.

When a soldier, who’s standing guard near
Said, ”The Irish are here. They’ve brought beer!”
They brought whisky jugs, too
And some good Irish stew,
Two clubs and a sword plus a spear.

So the Irish all wanted to fight
Once they’d drunk every drink within sight.
And they didn’t care who
They would fight but Jeb knew
That the English would fight before night.

So an Irishman came from his clan
And yelled, “I can defeat any man.
Even you, Gen’ral Raltar.”
So Jeb didn’t falter
But stood out in the front, in the van.

First rhe guy smote Jeb’s face with his fist,
So Jeb kicked him. (How could he resist?)
When he gouged at Jeb’s eye,
Some girls let out a cry,
And Jeb gave both his ears a huge twist.

Jeb smacked him with a left, then a right,
So the guy hit back with all his might.
Jeb delivered the same.
Then he called Jeb a name--
And that’s when they started to fight.

Yes, I teased Proof a bit for spending all his time on OEDILF, and not here, even though I had introduced him to OEDILF...so he showed me. Nice job, Proof!

Here are the limericks on Limerick:

Jerry's
A poet residing in Limerick
Found no rhymes for the name of his County
So he said, "What the heck!
I'll move to Quebec
And serve as a red-coated Mounty."

I love gimicky limerickys and this one is just a delight!

Richard's

A young stud called Ricky from Limerick
Asked a girl "Have you heard of the vim o'Rick?"
She said "No, but I'm game"
And feeling the same
They conjoined till he ended a slimmer Rick.

I asked, in a pub down in Lim'rik,
"Make sure it is filled to the brim Rik.
The law's very clear
The pint must be all beer
Or the penalties are very grim, Rik.

Rik answered, without even blinking,
"For sure but that's Guinness you're drinking,
And in Guinness it's clear
The head's part of the beer
So oi'll not go to gaol I'll be thinking"

Richard probably has one of the best, and most clever, rhymes with his vim o' Rick. And the 2 addressing beer are very nice.

Proofreader

A practical joker in Limerick
Would play games on her husband and him trick
So he sneaked in a pal
To make love to his gal
But she said, “Get away with that quim stick.”

So the guy put away his hard slim prick
And popped into a nearby Gold gym quick.
To see if he could find
A girl who wouldn’t mind
A quick quim stick quickie in Limerick.

But Proof had the best last line with the "quick quim stick quickie in Limerick." I had to look up quim, I am embarrassed to say (in more ways than one, after looking it up!).

Bob's

To Richard, the barman, in Limerick
I said," I don't wish to seem dim, Rick
But each pint that you pull
Is less than half full.
Pour the beer right up to the brim, Rick."

Said Ilsa, "The chances are slim, Rick
Casablanca is looking quite grim, Rick
But though France was tres bon
For me, Ireland's the one
Forget Paris, we'll always have Limerick.

Said a lass to her hubby, in Limerick
"In this dress, do you think I look slim, Rick?"
Said he, as a jest,
"'Tis a tent would suit best"
The result was a black eye for him, Rick.

I like your last one, Bob, though try as I might I can't get the meter to work for L5.

The winner? Bob's on the barman in Limerick. It so reminded me of the way you English love beer.

Your turn, Robert!

Well thanks. I preferred Richard's similarly themed one myself because he managed to include the Irish love of Guinness in it, nevertheless you're the boss.
I'll post a new destination soon.

Interesting how Bob's and my submssions not only both spoke of beer but also spoke of short measure.

Of course, in spite of my mention of the Law about full measures, that is English Law and might well not apply in the Irish Republic, a foreign country. It would certainly not surprise me as I have visited many countries where there is no legal definition of the size of "a beer".

However, my comment about Guinness is true in England where the head is accepted as being part of the pint, this being decided in a court case many years ago that established a precedent. A spokesman for the Guinness brewery gave evidence and said that the company spend a great deal of time ensuring that every Guinness, no matter how stored and dispensed, always had its dense and firm head. A Guinness served without a head, they suggested, could rightfully be rejected as sub-standard.

I suspect the British law about the head doesn't apply in Ireland. Certainly, bar staff over there seem to be so used to pulling pints of Guinness that they'll draw up other beers in the same way. Since the head on the others tends to disappear much faster, they end up short-measure.

However, apart from products of a few small micro-breweries, the only beer worth drinking in Ireland is Guinness.

quote:

However, apart from products of a few small micro-breweries, the only beer worth drinking in Ireland is Guinness.

Sad but true. I have had, more than once, to make it clear to Americans wishing to visit the British Islands, that the Real Ale scene in Ireland is very different from that in England.

quote:

I preferred Richard's similarly themed one myself because he managed to include the Irish love of Guinness in it, nevertheless you're the boss.

Oh, Bob, I have quite an evaluation system for limericks. They have to meet over 100 criteria, and indeed yours received 86.301 points, while Richards got 85.423, so they were quite close. I have written a detailed computer program for these evaluations, so my methodology is really quite rigorous. (And...the Pope is Jewish, as Shu would say! )

quote:

Originally posted by Kalleh:
(And...the Pope is Jewish...

Really? I didn't know that, but I suppose as the Church of England sees no problem with having bishops who don't believe in God, a Jewish Pope isn't beyond the realms of possibility...

quote:

(And...the Pope is Jewish, as Shu would say!

Well, after all, Jesus was Jewish.

Of course, the present Pope only got elected because he got up really early and put his towel on the Papal throne.

The early cardinal gets the Diet of Worms.

Kalleh wrote:

quote:

They have to meet over 100 criteria

Can you share your criteria with us so we'll know how to achieve excellence ??

Black ice is slippery in Columbus, OhiO
Some ladies can't believe it's ice, so off they go.
Caterwauler, for for one
Hit the ice on the run
She has a major part in the cast, we now know.

(This "Lucky-Strike Extra" Limerick probably violates 99 of the 100 criteria)

Does timeliness count for a point or two, even if smuttiness, rhyme, and meter are all wrong ??

On black ice slipped the miss Caterwauler
So they asked that we write, post or call 'er
To say "Sorry you broke
A leg. It's not a joke.
But the cast should make you a bit taller."

Kalleh, could you run that through the lim machine and give me a credit report.

Black ice in Columbus is slick
Librarians can learn this real quick.
They could injure themselves
After leaving the shelves
And thus join the broken-leg clique.

In the theatre, a good wish so strong
Is tossed out as you play to the throng.
But here it's a miscue
If we offer to you
The wish phrase, "Break a leg." Here it's wrong.

quote:

Can you share your criteria with us so we'll know how to achieve excellence ??

Believe me, if I really had anything like that, I'd use it for OEDILF. They always amaze me with their complaints about my limericks!