Aren't you glad I didn't pick my home town (Ithaca)?

So far, 2 from Jerry, 1 from Arnie, & 1 by yours truly in the hopper. Keep 'em comin', folks....

My very naughty one is in your PM box.

You have three from me and I'm betting that you get at least several variations of the third one from other entrants as both the rhymes and the joke are fairly obvious.

I've submitted on one so far - but I might try another if I can get the rhymes to work.

I tried, but failed. It seems I can't count all the way to five!

Without prejudice, Asa, & granting BobHale's well-taken point, we nevertheless have a dozen limericks submitted by 7 people. I have an impossible 2 days coming up (would you believe regular job + 2 conflicting seasonal extracurriculars + transactions to buy eldest a used car... ). So I'll try to wrap up ASAP.

Meanwhile... any other Wordcrafters want to jump in with a limerick?

Wow, Bob. This game is a winner! Thanks for your persistence.

quote:

Meanwhile... any other Wordcrafters want to jump in with a limerick?

I just can't think of any clean ones

OK, folks, here we go...

From Jerry Thomas—

1.
Our hero today's from Helsinki.
He grins as he chews on his Twinkie.
A fight to the Finnish
Is sure to diminish
His guilt about being so slinky.

2.
We never knew much about Helsinki
But we've read till our eyes became blinky.
And now we know more
About Helsinki lore.
Would you care for a snack and a drinkie?

3.
When we think of our time in Helsinki,
(Nudge nudge winky winky )
We say with a grin
Like your everyday Finn
"You expected this line to be kinky."

From yours truly--

I once watched young Wee Willie Winkie
Keep running 'til he reached Helsinki.
Though the clock said midnight,
It was sunny and bright,
Thus he found himself way out of synch-ie.

From Arnie—

When drinking some tea in Helsinki
Never ever lift up your pinkie
It's felt very rude,
And vulgar and crude,
And suggests the size of your winkie.

From Kalleh—

There once was a guy from Helsinki
Whose sexual thoughts were quite kinky.
Wanting four at a time
(Not a crime...but it's slime!),
Wore him down 'cuz his thing was quite dinky.

From Richard English—

1. To the young lass from downtown Helsinki
Said the lecher, "Let's look at your Dinky!"
"I'll venture that far",
Said the lass, "it's a car.
You know that I'd never be kinky!"

For those who are not as old as I, a translation might be needed.

>>Dinky toys were die-cast model cars, very popular when I was a schoolboy in the 1940s and 50s.

>>A "dinky" was another item, also hugely sought-after (if rarely seen) by schoolboys, possessed only by those of the opposite sex.


2. A randy young lad from Helsinki
Had drunk too much schnapps and did think he
Would not get it in
So his girlfriend (a Finn)
Said, "Try to make do with your pinkie".

From Bob Hale—

1.
To capture a crook in Helsinki
They called Clouseau from France, with a wink he
Said, "Zee size of zese prints
Eet has me convinced
Zee felon we seek is a minkey."

2.
The model who came from Helsinki
Was sexy and slender and slinky
But she wrecked her career
When she said she'd appear
In some pics that were rather too kinky.

3.
There once was a man from Helsinki
Whose penis was rather too dinky
But in spite of his knob
He could finish the job
With the aid of his extra large pinkie.

From haberdasher—

I courted a lass from Helsinki
Who had me wrapped right 'round her pinky
Until one day I caught her
With a fisherman's daughter
Doing something I thought was quite stinky.
* * *

I think we can all congratulate ourselves. They just get better and better! Many good ones here, & the contest's too close to call anything but hinky!!

Some of my favorites...

Bob Hale's detective story is unexpected and funny. Love that minkey.

Gotta mention Mr Hale's 3rd one as well. Crude yet smooth. A classic.

Jerry Thomas' submittal is very appealing. His twist on rhythm in the second line makes you want to waltz: NUDGE-2-3, NUDGE-winkie WINK-ie. Nice leg-pull at the end.

But the prize this time has to go... back to
Richard English for his 2nd submittal (the randy lad) because it is seamless. And dirty too! The second line has that silly rhyme "did think he", and is so long that the diminutive "Would not get it in" which follows is appropriately anti-climactic...

OK RE, you're it.

[edited to delete Asa's limerick, as requested.]

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Kalleh,

Well thank you! I think we should try to have a limerick event at Wordcraft 2008 (CW are you listening?)!

Now, for my second suggestion I will stick to my locality. The next village north of here is called Cowfold. Unusually its local pronunciation differs from that which one would expect, as the stress falls on the last syllable: Cow-FOLD.

PM me with your submissions, please, in the usual way.

Please remove my non-limerick from here. See PM.

Asa

I wanna try too.

A lot has gone down in Helsinki

A guy just dropped dead you would think he

would choose that one place

where his fall won't disgrace

But instead down the sewer so stinky

EDITED: it was 'sewer full of ....'

but i think this one fits better

This message has been edited. Last edited by: sofatyrant,

Hi, Sofatyrant.

This particular limerick game has ended. The newest, currently on-going, is "Bangor." Check the forum list for it. If you have a limerick, send a PM to BobHale soonest, since it is almost time for the judging. Good luck.

Welcome to the board sofatyrant. As proof said the current game is on the placename "Bangor" but as I still have so few entries you have plenty of time to create one. I'll probably be leaving it to the weekend before judging. You could win on your first try! (Of course there is no actual prize... )