Please send your PMs to me with a limerick using "Thailand" as the end-rhyme.

The winner will be determined based on clarity, comprhensibility, originality, articulateness and obscenity. Guess which counts most.

I've got one so far.

I will have a go, I promise. Not tomorrow, though, as I am meeting an American friend for a few pints of decent beer - which we always do whenever he gets to the UK. I doubt I'll be in a composing mood when I get back.

Chaz, Richard? If so, please say hi to him for me!

I am so busy right now, but I'll get one to you.

That's right, Kalleh. And his son whome I met a year ago when they were last over here.

I'll give him your best regards.

Here's some incentive for you to write at least ONE limerick for this game.

So let’s say that you get in a jam
And it’s best that you go on the lam
There’s a beautiful place
Where you can hide your face
And that’s Thailand, once known as Siam.*

* Did you really think I was going to try to rhyme “Thailand”?

Thus one day, in his uniform spiffy,
Jeb Raltar left England cause if he
Stayed then old Reading Gaol
Would be home, without fail
So he scrammed to Siam in a jiffy.

A remittance man’s what Jeb became
After leaving Olde England in shame.
He’d be sent pence and pound
But he shouldn’t be found
(It’s a civilized old Empire game).

So Jeb Raltar searched all through Bangkok
For a place where his penis could dock
With a slanty-eyed pearl
Or just any old girl
Who would not see his package and mock.

“Hello,” one said. “My name is Anna,
A school teacher and once wedding-planna.
Now I’m down on my luck
But with my loads of pluck
I just know I’ll be soon top banana.”

To be continued..........

What will happen to Jeb and Anna?

The King of Siam sought a teacher
In his country. Could anyone reach ‘er?
While they looked, his two wives
Had the time of their lives
As the king’s afternoon double feature.

So they found Ann and Jeb busy screwing
With a heated debate then ensuing.
They said, “Ann, take the spot
Learning up the king’s tot,
But don’t tell the king what you were doing.”

So Ann went to live in the palace
With meals served on gold plate with gold chalice,
Where she met with the king--
His chest festooned with bling--
While his old wives looked on with much malice.

Anna said, “You sure must be a winner
As king, and you look like Yul Brynner.”
But the king was porked out
(The oversexed lout)
And just wanted to know, “What’s for dinner?”

After supper, the king took a torch
And some ladies out onto his porch.
Then the sexy old fool
Unlimbered his tool
And engaged in a lengthy debauch.

So Anna was fit to be tied
And repaired to her room where she cried,
Since she hoped to be queen
But the king was obscene.
But in Act Two, thank god, then he died.

So Anna went back to Jeb Raltar
Who had no plans to go to the altar.
And the sexy old fool
Unlimbered his tool,
And again Ann had someone assault her.

The bag is fuller with limericks pouring in from all over the globe. Make sure you get yours in early beforee I get too tired to read it.

Anyone else?

I just sent you one. Sorry for the lateness, but this is my busy time at work.

I'll get one to you in the next couple of hours unless anything else comes up to interrupt me.

Sorry for the delay.

Still waiting for Bob. Anyone else?
Posting of results on Saturday.

Here are the entries. Only a few this time since I believe some were handed out with the bonuses at AIG.

Jerry Thomas
A real estate broker in Thailand
Wants everybody to buy land
She also sells shells,
From the isles of Seychelles.
She moves them around with a sly hand.

What an interesting country is Thailand
Its mountains are known as its high land.
Neighboring Viet Nam and Burma
Are both terra firma
And Thailand is sure not a nigh land.

Richard Enlish
If you’re thinking of going to Thailand
Beware, for it’s rather a sly land.
Though its main town’s “Ban Cock”
There is much there to shock —
I think its name ought to be “thigh land”.

Kalleh
If ever I’d move out my land,
I’d prob’ly not move into Thailand.
While plenty of Buddhists,
There aren’t many nudists,
And with seventeen charters, it’s “sigh”land!

Bethree5
A homesick Scot living in Thailand
Found solace from pain on an island
Where a nude dancing Thai
Showing off a slim thigh
Did a Jig on his back (‘twas the Highland).

Proofreader (Not in the running)
“This land is your land and it’s my land,”
Said the King to the people of Thailand.
“But I can’t stand the heat,
So I’m beating my feet
To a vacation home in Rhode Island.”

The judges have convened and, after carefully studying the entries, have (by a vote of 1-0) decided the winner is

Bethree5

It was a very close call due to the excellence of the contributions. Where to, B?

Apologies for not contributing.
I just couldn't get anything I was happy with this time.

I was so overwhelmed by winning that I remained speechless for 6 days!...

Location at new thread...