1.A vacation in lovely Key West
Is for feeling exceedingly stressed
It will all melt away
On the very first day
You're by sun and by wavelets caressed

2.A student at school in Key West
Boasted, “it’s me, I’m the best”
When results told a tale
Of an average fail
He said, “Well I‘m the best of the rest”

3. I wanted to go to Key West
But the cop said "Improperly dressed!
And therefore, because
You are breaking our laws,
I must tell you you're under arrest!"

My intentions I duly expressed
And apparently he was impressed
And so, he being male,
I did not go to jail
(But you'll have to imagine the rest...)

4.Don't drive a car in Key West
It's worse than Buda or Pest
Forget Walla Walla
Or even Ocala
The test is to drive in Key West*
https://keysweekly.com/42/the-...streets-of-key-west/

5.At the board gaming club in Key West
Strip Monopoly was chosen as best
Where he gave her a glance
That said “I’d like the chance
To reveal your community chest."

6.The party was planned for Key West
He had to be properly dressed
To boost his libido
His three-piece tuxedo
Included a silvery vest

7. There was a young man from Key West
Who thought he was simply the best
He boasted all day
In an obnoxious way
I thought he was simply a pest

He met a young woman, Celeste
Who had an enormous breast
The other was small
Quite nothing at all
Which gave her a lop-sided chest

When Pesty met Chesty he guessed
That she was quite something undressed
He found out that night
When she turned down the light
Now you can imagine the rest

8.At her lazy old husbands behest
A housewife who lived in Key West
Watched him strip to his shorts
But in spite of her thoughts
He just wanted the creases re-pressed.

9.There once was a town named Key West,
Where the sun shines bright and the sea's a crest.
The locals are friendly,
The drinks are plenty,
And the fish are always fresh.

10.I'll never go to Key West
Where there is lots of incest
There are waves of red hats
Alligators and rats
Trump says, "My people? The best!"

11.Cats with a surplus of toes
Are called “Hemingway cats,” after those
Which the author possessed
In his home in Key West.
(He had dozens. A quirk, I suppose.)

12. I wanted to go to Key West
But the cop said "Improperly dressed!
And therefore, because
You are breaking our laws,
I must tell you you're under arrest!"

My intentions I duly expressed
And apparently she was impressed
And she said to me, "Dude,
You're about to get screwed!"
(But you'll have to imagine the rest...)

Five for me, please. That's number five, not five of them. (Don't want to be greedy!)

Just making sure that I understand. We should judge 7 as a three part limerick and twelve as a two part. Is that right.

Oh and 12 seems to be a reworking of 3.

This is tricky. A few I eliminate on technical grounds, three I eliminate because they are mine, one I don't get the joke, a couple are technically good but a bit saccharine and three and twelve are reworkings of the same limerick (I suspect the author wasn't completely happy with three and reworked it into twelve.)

I'll go with twelve on the assumption that's the one intended.

I plead lingering covid fog. Basically what you see is what you get. Anyone whose lim is presented incorrectly, speak up.

I think we are waiting for 3 more votes. Or 4 more-- can't remember: am I supposed to hang back and only vote if there's a tie?

4 gave me a "Error 404 - file not found" error when I tried to follow the link. I suspect the ellipsis on the screen was taken literally by the parser and was not what was meant to be represented. It's Edward Learianin its repetition of the Line 1 word in Line 5.

11 (polydactyl cats) gave me a chuckle. They're found in enclaves - maritime Canada, New England, and Hemingwaian Florida to name three, and rare elsewhere. I had one when my kids were younger; where most cats have on their paws finger-finger-finger-claw, he had finger-finger-finger-paw with tiny claws on the supernumerary paws. I always had a soft spot in my heart for him because polydactylism runs in my family, too, though I fear the trait has now been diluted out as none of my 8 grandkidlets show it, and it's supposedly a dominant gene. (PS - why does this limerick make me think Shufitz wrote it?)

3 and 12 look to me as if the author was trying to give both genders equal time. I agree, 12 is better; it has more ambiguous imaginings...

Having said all that, I cast my vote for Number 5. It could be tightened up by some workshopping, but even so it's the one that made me grin most broadly !

Great bunch of limericks, gang!

Yuu know me well, Hab.

I had a close decision between #5 and #6. The balance tips in favor of #6. Anyone who rhymes tuxedo with libido gets my vote.

Those are great limericks. I wish I hadn't missed them. It is great to be back! BTW, what happened to our Community thread? I liked that thread because people could tell us about their lives.

#6

Yes. I noticed it too. But I would think you know more about it than anyone else; aren’t you the Administratrix?

I hadn’t noticed it. As you didn’t know about it I assume it wasn’t an intentional decision. Does it mean that everything that was in there including stuff I posted about Brexit or about Covid in China has now gone for ever? None of it shows up in searches. Any way to find out what happened to it?

Here are the authors:
1.”A vacation in lovely…” haberdasher 0
2.”A student at school…” BobHale 0
3.”I wanted to go…” haberdasher 0
4.”Don’t drive a car…” Geoff 0
5.”At the board gaming club…” BobHale 2
6.”The party was planned…” haberdasher 2
7.”There was a young man…” tinman 0
8.”At her lazy old husband’s…” BobHale 0
9.”There once was a town…” haberdasher 0
10.”I’ll never go…” Geoff 0
11.”Cats with a surplus…” shufitz 0
12.”I wanted to go…” haberdasher 1

It’s a tie between #5 and #6, so I get to vote! I smiled at the silvery vest, and at the surplus-toed cats. I snickered at the lopsided chest. But the community chest made me laugh, so #5 gets my vote.
Take it away, Bob.

A footnote to # 9:

9. There once was a town named Key West,
Where the sun shines bright and the sea's a crest.
The locals are friendly,
The drinks are plenty,
And the fish are always fresh.

This was the product of seeding Chat-GPT with "Write a limerick about Key West."
The form at least is recognizable, though the content is negligible.

I suspect this is the one about which Bob said he didn't get the joke.

Looks like ChatGPT has nothing on us!