Ketchikan is the new location. PM limericks to me over the next week or so.

My first one's in. Wow, 55°21′00″N - that's even further north than London! Not so far north as Glasgow, though - brrr.

Please don't tell z or goofy (thankfully they don't check posts down here!), but I still haven't figured out that pronunciation system listed in Wikipedia. Can someone please help with the pronunciation?

Ketchikan rhymes with sketchycan

Thanks, Jer.

That sounds easy.

I think the prime ' appears immediately before the stressed syllable. At least that's what I have assumed for my submission.

I am stessing "sketch"...is that correct?

Here is what I got from Jerry's post:

SKETCH-ee-can

you got it right, Kalleh.

The rhyming dictionary says there is no perfect rhyme for Ketchikan, .... so any word ending with *kan will do.

And yes, the stress is on the first syllable.

The oddest man living in Ketchikan
Is a guy from Tijuana -- a Mexican.

Does that rhyme? If it doesn't I'll have to rewrite twelve limericks.

quote:

The rhyming dictionary says there is no perfect rhyme for Ketchikan, .... so any word ending with *kan will do.

Mind you, if it's rhymezone, it also says there are no perfect rhymes for the common word for copulation - although it finds 74 rhymes for "duck".

I don't trust the site all that much.

On OEDILF, was looking for a rhyme on "carrot" and RhymeZone said "parrot" (OK by me) "ferret" (not OK) and "demerit" (decidedly not OK). But when I brought it up, one of the other writers said they all rhymed for him.

I seem to remember that Bugs Bunny eats "kerrets".

quote:

I seem to remember that Bugs Bunny eats "kerrets".

Only human pronunciations count

They all rhyme for me, Proof.

I KNEW it! I'm the only right one in the whole world.

quote:

Originally posted by Proofreader:
I KNEW it! I'm the only right one in the whole world.

Not so. I'm with you. SO I must be right too.

quote:

Not so. I'm with you. SO I must be right too.

And I.

According to one source:

The tribe there’s the Tlingit
Pronounced like this: “Klinket”
So, I’m thinking, Ketchikan's ‘Titchegan’

As to the "i" in KETCH-i-kan, I believe it would be pronounced "ih", not "ee". I clicked on the incomprehensible IPA spelling for it at wiki, and it brought me to a chart showing that the lower case i with the line through it is "as in the unstressed 'e' in 'roses.'"

But hey, what I want to know is how do the KLINKets say it!!!

Um. So far I only have one from Richard and one from Jerry. Proof, Kalleh, Bob? Any other brave souls reading the thread? Or maybe you sent one & it got lost in the lightning storm. Do try again!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: bethree5,

I'll enter one later today but whatever you do DON'T make me the winner as I'll subsequently be out of internet contact for two weeks in North Korea.

quote:

I'll enter one later today but whatever you do DON'T make me the winner as I'll subsequently be out of internet contact for two weeks in North Korea.

What a fascinating destination. I envy you.

I, too, will soon be off to Canada for a month - but fortunately will have internet access - although the connection is a bit unreliable, being a radio link in the middle of the Canadian Rockies.

Wow I envy you travelers!!

To amend the last post: Proofreader, of course I have one from you as well, yours was the first in.

My email has been very sketchy (comcast) and today is completely out of order. However, no matter, thank goodness for our trusty PM system here at the forum.

Keep 'em coming!

You should have two from me now.

quote:

Wow I envy you travelers!!

I reckon it's in the British genes

In Alaska, JR froze his peter,
Which he thawed on the top of a heater,
Where a gay logging guy
Took a bite, said, “Oh, my!
I believe diabetics are sweeter.”

You should have none from me so far because I just don't know how to pronounce it. I'll do my best, though.

I've been working on Bob's birthday limerick, and that is spectacular! Oh, and I just got my first limerick published. Remember that book chapter I wrote on "collaboration" and asked advice on for a limerick? Well the book is out now, and there's my limerick. How fun!

Now on to Bethree's. I have a great city in mind, too!

Remember that after 10 a.m. Tusday 7th April I'll have no internet access until about 10 pm Saturday 18th April even though my birthday isn't until 9th.

Oh, I'd better get it up before that, then. I simply love it, but then I've found that I often like my limericks better than others do.

“How I long for my damp English home,”
Said JR in an igloo near Nome.
“While the winters are chilly,
They don’t freeze my willy,
And my ceiling is flat, not a dome.”

Finally...with a little help from the peanut gallery in my home, I sent one in.

JR, in Iditarod's race,
Found his dogs had him in second place.
So for first place he tried,
But his dogs up and died
So he ate everything but their face.

Jeb Raltar said, "Oh, woe is me.
I have dined on my dogs, don't you see.
I ate both thighs and hips
But I won't touch their lips.
It's the paws that refresshes for me."

Well, here they are, folks.

From Richard:

A spendthrift young lady from Ketchikan
Decided to clear all the debts she can.
So she sold sex sublime
At a tenner a time --
Can she pay her debts now? Yes you bet she can!


From Jerry:

Miss T. Fjord, who's from Ketchikan,
Is allegedly seeking a man
With a tall totem pole,
And to fulfill her goal
She'll do anything that she can.

Two from Proofreader:

The fishermen thrive around Ketchikan.
Can you make a good living? You betchikan.
But the simplest way
To eat seafood each day
Is go to the market and fetchikan.


I asked at a cathouse in Ketchikan:
“May I pay for a screw?” “Hey, you betchikan.”
Then she saw my great tool
And said, “Wait a sec, fool.
That monstrous thing’s liable to stretchikan.”


Two from Bob Hale-- who cannot be here to accept any awards

A Peeping Tom moved up to Ketchikan;
Started doing the the things that a lecher can.
Said the mayor, "I suggest
Leaving town would be best.
If the bus doesn't take you a stretcher can."


"I'll complain if I like about Ketchikan!"
Moaned Granddad. His wife said "I bet ya can.
And we'll try to ignore you,
You grumbling bore, you!"
(To the kids, then, "If he wants to kvetch he can.")

From Kalleh:

"I'm a butcher of seals in Ketchikan;
To kill them with speedy dispatch I can.
I hail from the pole,
So I've plenty of soul.
Whatever you ask of me...betcha I can!"

A tough choice, as always. There are a wealth of goodies here. If I were to pick Perfectly Parsed, I’d take Proof’s 1st. For Chutzpah (Hon. Mention): Bob’s 2nd. Strangest: Jerry’s totem-seeker. Most Likely To Succeed: Richard’s. But for downright gruesome peculiarity, nothing can match the jolly basher of seal-heads, Ketchikan’s own Santa. I can see him now out on the ice like Jack Nicholson in “The Shining”: ‘Heeeere’s Johnny!’ It’s all yours, Kalleh!

And I humbly accept the award...[One can imagine where I got the inspiration for this one.]

I'll start a new thread. I am in the mood for some really fun ones, so my new venue is Dallas.