The new book is

Jitterbug Perfume
by
Tom Robbins

To reiterate for latecomers here's what you need to do.

This is a real book with a real first line. What you have to do is invent a first line, which obviously won't have anything to do with the real one.

When I have enough I'll list them all with the real one thrown in and everyone takes a guess at which one is genuine.

The main aim of the game is to fool arnie who always guesses everything right. A secondary aim is to convince as many others as possible with your first line.

Answers by PM please.

Four already plus my own and the real one. I knew this game had potential.

More please.

Counting mine and the real one I now have eight. I knew this was a good game.

Anyone else want to play?

OK. Looks like that's it.
Here are this week's contenders.

1. They say that the prospect of being hanged in the morning concentrates a man’s mind wonderfully; unfortunately, what the mind inevitably concentrates on is that it is in a body that, in the morning, is going to be hanged.

2. I remember everything from the weeks I spent with her -- not in words or even in order, but rather like a huge oil painting with splashes of color and light, accented with the darkness and exotic fragrance and feel and taste of her.

3. He was a drunken, smarmy knight.

4. Every Thursday after dinner the old grey men would gather in the back of the High Style Saloon, pounding out the rhythms and swaying to the music until the old grey women called them home.

5. The beet is the most intense of vegetables.

6. "He said what?" Lily asked as she licked a spoonful of green tea ice cream."

7. The phone rang loudly that morning, before the sun had even considered weaving it's way through the tall buildings of the city.

8. Whatever happened, it happened in extraordinary times, in a season of dreams, and in Natchez it was the bitterest winter of them all.

9. They lay upon the table, all the dead things from their brief time together, scattered across the white linen without thought for their placement.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: BobHale,

Simply because it is the most improbable, I'll chose Door #5

If number 1 isn't in a book, it oughta be. I'll take that one, please.

Two for me.

4, please.

Number 9, please.

8. for me, please.

The grammatical solecism says it's not number 7

quote:

Originally posted by Richard English:
The grammatical solecism says it's not number 7

Really? You never saw a book with an error in it? Or maybe it's my typing. Who knows? Not saying it's 7, not saying it's not. Just saying you can't necessarilly rely on that as an indicator.

You didn't take a guess either.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: BobHale,

quote:

Really? You never saw a book with an error in it?

Well, not in the first line...

If we see an error in these, or in the bluffing game definitions, or really anywhere on the board, let's not post it publicly, alright? A quick PM would be sufficient. We all make inadvertent errors from time to time, and I'd hate to see us picking out each one. My advice in this instance, if you don't feel it is first line material, just don't choose that particular line. Of course, the person posting the real first line could very well make an inadvertent mistake, too. No one here is perfect.

The fact is, I had an inadvertent error in mine, too. I realized it when I made my choices and asked Bob privately to please change it. As I said, no one here is perfect (least of all me ).

Sheesh, Richard, it is just a game. Lighten up.



I guess #9 because it suits my mood today. No, maybe #8. Hmm . . . I like them all.

Umm . . . ok, I'll stick with 9.

Any more guesses before I post the answers?

If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am:
I'm a genuine philanthropist - all other kinds are sham.
Each little fault of temper and each social defect
In my erring fellow-creatures, I endeavour to correct.
To all their little weaknesses I open people's eyes,
And little plans to snub the self-sufficient I devise;
I love my fellow-creatures - I do all the good I can -
Yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man!
And I can't think why!
- W.S. Gilbert

Very well, here are the answers.

1. They say that the prospect of being hanged in the morning concentrates a man’s mind wonderfully; unfortunately, what the mind inevitably concentrates on is that it is in a body that, in the morning, is going to be hanged.

Arnie provided this one an managed to fool saranita.

2. I remember everything from the weeks I spent with her -- not in words or even in order, but rather like a huge oil painting with splashes of color and light, accented with the darkness and exotic fragrance and feel and taste of her.

Saranita fooled Asa who is clearly reading far too many of the wrong kind of book.

3. He was a drunken, smarmy knight.

Wasn't really sure what Asa was thinking with this one and neither, apparently, was anyone else.

4. Every Thursday after dinner the old grey men would gather in the back of the High Style Saloon, pounding out the rhythms and swaying to the music until the old grey women called them home.

Jo's jitterbugging grey old men fooled Kalleh.

5. The beet is the most intense of vegetables.

Bizarrely enough this is the real answer. Jo got it. The book waxes lyrical about the beet for the whole of the first page. Damned if I can remember where it comes into the rest of it though.*

6. "He said what?" Lily asked as she licked a spoonful of green tea ice cream."

Kalleh's green tea ice cream sadly didn't tempt anyone.

7. The phone rang loudly that morning, before the sun had even considered weaving it's way through the tall buildings of the city.

Caterwauller also didn't catch anyone out with this first line.

8. Whatever happened, it happened in extraordinary times, in a season of dreams, and in Natchez it was the bitterest winter of them all.

Way to go, neveu – fooled arnie!

9. They lay upon the table, all the dead things from their brief time together, scattered across the white linen without thought for their placement.

I'm rather pleased to say that this was mine and it fooled both KHC and Caterwauller.


NOW, somebody else have a go. I like this game as much as the definitions game.


*Tom Robbins is an author with a most peculiar style. Other great first lines include

The magician's underwear has just been found in a cardboard suitcase floating in a stagnant pond on the outskirts of Miami. (Another Roadside Atrraction)

If this typewriter can't do it, then fuck it, it can't be done. (Still Life With Woodpecker)

Amoeba leave no fossils. (Even Cowgirls Get The Blues)

This is the room of the wolfmother wallpaper. (Skinny Legs And All)

and

The day the stock market falls out of bed and breaks its back is the worst day of your life. (Half Asleep In Frog Pajamas)

This message has been edited. Last edited by: BobHale,

quote:

Originally posted by BobHale:

3. He was a drunken, smarmy knight.

Wasn't really sure what Asa was thinking with this one and neither, apparently, was anyone else.

I was wondering what Piers Anthony might write were he to enter a Bulwar-Lytton bad writing contest. Now why didn't anyone else think that way!?!?

I liked it alot, Asa!

This is a great game. Who is going next?

I am not surprised that no one chose mine since I had originally posted:

"...Lily said asked..." Well, anyway, you know I didn't copy it! I actually thought it was a damned good first line. Too bad I messed it up.

quote:

Originally posted by saranita:
If number 1 isn't in a book, it oughta be. I'll take that one, please.

It is in a book; unfortunately for you, not the right one. The book is Going Postal by the always excellent Terry Pratchett.

Bob Hale said:

quote:

What you have to do is invent a first line, which obviously won't have anything to do with the real one.

Arnie said:

quote:

It is in a book; unfortunately for you, not the right one. The book is Going Postal by the always excellent Terry Pratchett.

Foul!!!!!

So sue me.

(Sorry, I hadn't noticed that part. I was reading the book when Bob made the original post and liked the beginning so much I felt I had to share it. )

Suing would be a bit extreme, arnie, and the court dockets are so overcrowded. Instead, how about you secretly send me the next answer you're absolutely sure of (probably the next question that comes up, judging by your excellent record) and let my correct "guess" make everybody here think I'm almost as good at this stuff as you are? I'll be waiting with bated breath at the Wordcraft private messaging center.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: saranita,

Maybe...

Or maybe not...

Can't blame a girl for tryin'.

Er, you're going to have to sue me, too. I nicked my first line from Eudora Welty.

um... Guys? I don't want to seem critical or whatever, but doesn't "knicking" lines from another book sort of defeat the idea behind this game? I doubt that you would borrow definitions for the bluffing game. Surely we as people of the word have more than enough talent to write some memorable opening lines.

I don't want to seem stuffy or bossy, but I admit I am more than bit put off knowing that these were not made up lines. And I am perplexed as to why you thought it was an appropriate way to play the game.

The only person I stole mine from was me. It's the first line of a story I've been trying to write on and off for several years. I have a great prologue and opening chapter but I keep on stalling after that.

Still I feel happy that I must be better than all those other authors 'coz I fooled more people. (I did think arnie's looked very familiar when I read it.)

I think I have a good one and will start a new thread for it unless someone else would like to have a go.

quote:

And I am perplexed as to why you thought it was an appropriate way to play the game.

I thought the point was to guess the correct opening line from the specified book, based on our knowledge of the writer and his or her individual style, not merely guess which line was written by a writer. If we're just guessing which line is written by a published author, why specify a book in the first place? We can just have list of first lines and everyone can guess which one is "real".

I don't think it makes much difference, really. It surely won't affect the answers if people either use first lines or make up first lines. I couldn't have come up with this one in a million years!

okay, so why bother to try to be creative is what you are saying? And while we are at it, why bother to give credit to the author of the line? I wasn't going to respond to this, and I probably shouldn't have but here I am. Is it just me, or does anyone else think that if you are playing a game where the point is to make up a first line to try to fool other people as well as to guess which is the real first line, you should make up a first line?

And by the way, I am a published author, so I guess any first lines I write would be real. And for that matter, I think anything that anyone on this board writes would be real. I thought the idea of the game was similar to daffynitions. Silly me...

I suppose I agree with Kalleh on this. I just wish that people had felt it was important to credit the author of the lines they chose to use. That's what is really nibbling at me. As an author who has from time to time made her living from her writing, I am somewhat anal about attributions.

I am anal about attributions, too. Let's do this: If you use another's first line, just post your attribution later. Does that work?

I did credit the author. If I hadn't we wouldn't be having this discussion.

Frankly I think it's a far more interesting game if some or all of the entries are from other well-known authors, because it might stimulate discussion and interest in them.

I made a special point of attributing the author, too. That's what caused this argument.

okay, okay already. I guess I misunderstood the intent, purpose, rules, nature, etc. of the game. I'll shut up now, and sorry to have said anything. But that's the way I feel about most of my posts here lately anyway. Guess it must be old age.

No need to feel that way, Jo. You brought up a good point, and we were able to clarify the rules. My theory is that forums go through difficult periods, and there is a little of that going on now. Soon we'll be back on track.